


To be alive beneath cherry blossoms

by Dissent, just_sav



Category: Free!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Best Friends, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, Light Controlling Behaviour, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Omega Verse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Partying, Period Shenanigans, Protectiveness, Reunions, Social Issues, Teenage Drama, Teenage Rebellion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-08-19 08:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 87,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20206375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dissent/pseuds/Dissent, https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_sav/pseuds/just_sav
Summary: Alphas are arrogant, disgusting, cruel, dishonest, rude, selfish and narrow-minded animals.At least, that's what Rin has been taught behind the walls of Samezuka and he's been believing all of it. Until he meets this man with black hair and blue eyes again and starts to doubt the things he's been told all his life.





	1. Chapter 1

I grin when the teacher hands me my quiz back and I see the red 100 circled on top of the sheet. Fuck it if they call me a nerd again, they'll all come crawling back to me once the next essay is due anyway. Sosuke leans over to glance at my test and rolls his eyes before quickly hiding his grade from me.

"Idiotic bilingual fucker", he mutters and scowls when I flick his forehead.

"Don't always curse. It's rude. And now let me see what you got wrong so I can help you next time."

Reluctantly, he pushes his sheet towards my desk and I grab it, read over the first few answers he's given and put it down again. A hopeless case. My best friend is a hopeless case. I snort and shake my head before giving him his quiz back. He stuffs it into his folder and sighs.

"Shit. My parents are going to kill me when I tell them I'm failing English. They want me to take over the restaurant and for that, I'll have to know at least two foreign languages."

I just shrug and take a picture of my grade to send it to my mother.

"It's not my fault that you're a stupid nymphomaniac. Just study rather than sneak out at night for once. It can't be so amazing to get shitfaced and let yourself be fucked into the mattress by some random guy, can it now?"

Sosuke laughs and rests his head in his palm, turquoise eyes boring into me so intensely that I feel the burn on my skin. I know this look and I know what he's thinking and I know he knows that I know what he's thinking, but he still says it out loud like he always does because he actually thinks I'll agree this time.

"A good fuck would do you good sometimes when you're moody like this. Doesn't have to be an Alpha, you know. Just get it on with a Beta like I do. Although I'm starting to get bored by them", he mutters under his breath so the teacher won't hear and a low smirk starts to tug at his lips. "I wonder what an actual Alpha would be like. During heat, especially. And don't you tell me you haven't thought about it too at least once."

I turn away and sigh in exasperation while my cheeks heat up a little and I feel myself starting to blush. Of course I've thought about it. Everyone here has. But we don't talk much about Alphas in the open. A hushed conversation in the darkness of our dorms, maybe, but never anything realistic, just shared wild fantasies. Alphas are animals. You can't let them near you or they'll take advantage of you in every way possible. I've never seen a presented Alpha in my life. Well, at least not an Alpha my age. Adults, of course, but never one of the teenage Alphas our teachers keep warning us about. I wonder what they are like.

"Matsuoka-kun, please stop staring out the window and concentrate on your work instead", a stern voice calls me back to reality and I nod hastily to glance down at my exercise book.

Everyone else is quietly solving math problems already. I haven't even noticed that next lesson has started... After looking around for a moment, I sigh, drop my gaze again and grab my pen. Sosuke elbows me and grins before scribbling something down onto a sheet of paper from his notebook and pushing it onto my desk.

_Thinking about what I think u thinking? I'll leave tonight at eleven. Meet me in the bathroom down the hallway if u up for some fun._

I frown at the note and just prepare to respond, when the teacher suddenly gets up from her desk, stares over at me with narrowed eyes and starts walking towards my desk. I try to hide the note within the stack of work sheets in my folder, but she has already spotted it. Before I can make up an excuse, she is towering over me already, hands resting on her hips.

"I see, Matsuoka-kun and Yamazaki-kun obviously think passing notes is more fun than math? Then let's see what's so important that you can't wait for the end of class to discuss it."

She grabs the note, reads over it and I can actually see the anger rising into her eyes. She lowers her hand with a deep inhale and looks from me to Sosuke and back again.

"Meet me after class, both of you. I have no intention to embarrass you by reading this out loud in front of everyone, but I still want to talk to you", she hisses, rips the note apart and walks back to her desk with tense shoulders.

Sosuke glowers at me from the side and I stare back with bared fangs. This is his fault too! Why couldn't he wait until school was out for the day to ask me? This is our last lesson for the day! And it's not like he's the only one in trouble now! Just because of his stupid note! Sulking, we both go back to our exercises. Normally, time ticks by much too slow during math class, but today the lesson seems to finish much earlier than usual and I feel cold sweat pouring down my neck. I hate the dressing-downs they give you here at Samezuka. If we're unlucky, she'll even call the headmaster over. When the bell rings and everybody jumps up to leave, I quietly stuff my books into my bag, sling it over my shoulder and try to sneak out of the classroom, but the teacher grabs my wrist, clicks her tongue in annoyance and drags me back inside.

"Don't act so immature, Matsuoka-kun. You as the captain of the swim team should know better than to run from the trouble you've gotten yourself into."

Sosuke is already waiting in front of the teacher's desk, head turned to the side, lips pressed together tightly. After she's closed the door, she walks back over, sits down in her chair and picks up one of her pencils.

"So, you planned to sneak out of school for the night?", she asks sternly. "To go where? A bar? A club? And I expect a honest answer. If I find out you've been lying to me, your punishment will be much worse."

I'm glad I actually can't answer her question because I don't even _know_ where Sosuke has planned on taking me. He seems to realize that he's deeper in this than I am when I shrug nonchalantly and grits his teeth.

"... a club", he finally mutters, seemingly accepting defeat. "There's a club for Omegas in town."

I can't suppress a quiet laugh. Lucky me, we're not in Australia. I know every single club there. Me and my best friends Danny and Eric have spent hours drinking there after school and on weekends and during summer break. Good times in a good country. In Australia, there's no secluded school for Omegas and Alphas like here. There's no restriction to see eachother. There's no policy to keep your Omega children from going outside without at least a Beta by their side. I mean, I've never seen a presented Alpha in Australia either - I've been too young to understand that stuff back then, anyway - but I don't really think they're the same as here. This is Japan and in contrast to our technology, our society is way behind.

"You were intentionally planning to go out without a tutor or a Beta accompanying you, Yamazaki-kun?", our teacher flares up in rage. "You were putting yourself at stake like that? And you wanted to drag Matsuoka-kun along? Do you even know what could've happened to you two? Have you been doing this for long already? Oh, I'll make sure you're never leaving this academy again, except for when your families come to pick you up when you've graduated!"

Sosuke lowers his head, but I see the childish defiance in his eyes that I know so well from myself. I hate it to be locked up here too, but on the other side... they just want to protect us, right? From all the Alphas out there? Isn't that right?

"You could've been assaulted!", she continues and gets up, pacing up and down nervously. "They smell your scent from miles away and once they find you, there's no way to avoid them anymore. They're like rabid animals once they come across an Omega. They haven't learned to control themselves yet, don't you understand? They could easily rape you, mark you and make you submit to them in less than ten minutes! You'd be helpless prey to apex predators that are bred and born to hunt you down!"

I feel sick. Sure, Sosuke has gone out so often already, but maybe he's just been lucky. After all, I was right to stay at the academy. The teacher looks over at me and takes a deep breath, obviously noticing my scent that has grown bitter with insecurity. Then, she smiles and places one hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Matsuoka-kun. I didn't mean to scare you. But this is reality and you'll eventually have to face it. I know you teenage boys can't wait to break all the rules, have fun drinking and show that you're mature young men already, but it's too dangerous out there for you to be alone, after all. Please, go back to your dorms. I'll let you off with a fair warning for now, but if I ever hear from you two sneaking out again, there will be consequences. You're both dismissed."

We nod and leave the classroom. I clutch the belt of my bag a little tighter as we're walking down the hallway to our dorm room. Sosuke sighs, runs one hand through his messy dark hair and averts his gaze slightly.

"Man, that was quite the speech. But I'm still going out tonight. Those idiots here can suck my dick. I'm not spending my life behind closed doors because they think I can't defend myself in case an idiot Alpha assumes I'm free to claim. You in too, or did she really scare you?"

His grin is so cocky and challenging that it makes the hair on my neck rise instinctively. I snarl a little, enough to make my fangs visible.

"I'm not scared, you dumb fuck! Fine, I'll come along! Those guys will have to bring it on if they think I'm easy to overpower!", I argue back, even though I've got this sinking feeling in my stomach.

Is this really a good idea? To play tough when I know that it'll probably end in a disaster? But we'll be together, after all, Sosuke is going to be there too. Two of us can easily fend off an Alpha, should we meet one. I know the club Sosuke usually visits is for Omegas and Betas, but occasionally, an Alpha shows up too. Unlikely that they'll have it out for me or Sosuke, but just in case, it's probably better to stick together.

"Where will we be going, then?", I ask and rub my neck to hide the slight shaking of my hands. "I mean, they could check on our dorm in the middle of the night and if they see that we're gone, they'll know where to go, right?"

My best friend snorts and flips me off.

"Are you an idiot? We'll lock the door to our private rooms and write a note that we're sleeping in the nests tonight. And we can't go to that club anymore, if they still get suspicious, they'll raid it. No, we're visiting a private party. I've gotten an invitation a week ago, but since I already had plans, I declined. Now we can go there and have fun. Means free booze. And the guys on house parties are usually hotter. So let's dress up and get ready to sneak out."

I nod, still a little reluctant. At least a private party sounds much safer than a club where everybody can waltz in. After going through my closet for an acceptable outfit, I decide on a tanktop that intentionally narrows at the hips, then slip on some skinny jeans, hook a silver chain into the belt loops and tie my hair up to a messy ponytail with my favourite necklace dangling in front of my chest - the shark tooth my dad has given to me for my fifth birthday. When Sosuke comes out of the bathroom to check on me, he whistles sharply and smirks.

"Wow, hello there Mr. Steal yo girl."

I can't help my vanity and turn around a little.

"Looks good? Suitable for my first night out?", I ask, playing innocent. I _know_ I'm pretty. "Tried my best to find something fitting."

Sosuke runs one hand down my side, making me shudder.

"'Course you look good, you always do. But something's missing", he breathes straight into my ear and I can't help the little gasp that slips from my throat. "This."

Before I can ask what he's talking about, there's a strange sensation on my neck and only when I feel his warm tongue gliding over my skin, I realize what he's doing.

"H-Hey, you idiot!", I screech and shove him back. "What are you doing?"

Too late. The purple mark is already forming and I can't do anything about it. Shit. Looks like I've been snogging with somebody for hours. Sosuke just rolls his eyes and tugs at the loose end of his shirt.

"Calm down already, I just made sure you wouldn't look too out of place. Those are party people, not frigid Omegas who have never even slept with someone in their entire life. The hickey makes you look like you've had fun tonight already and they'll approach you much more easily when they see that you're up for some action."

"I'm not frigid", I pout quietly and trace the purple bruise with one finger. "But... if you deem it necessary, then by all means. Are we leaving now or not? And how are we even going to get out?"

A deep blush is rising into my cheek when I change the topic to try and forget his words. It's true, I've never slept with someone before, but I've never felt the need to, so... Maybe that'll change tonight, who knows?

"Yeah, sure, we're leaving", Sosuke agrees and walks over to the window. "But be quiet. No talking until I tell you to. Just follow me and do what I'm doing. We'll have to change the plan a little since we can't get to the bathroom. It's much easier to get away from the academy if you start from the bathroom, but eh, whatever. Let's go!"

He opens the balcony door, steps outside and swings himself over the railing. It's not far from the ground, I know that, but my arms and legs are still shaking as I follow my best friend. This is so exciting. It's the first time I'm sneaking out at night and my heart is racing so fast that I can hear it beating in my ears. I land on my knees and palms, quickly get up and shake the dew from my hands. Sosuke is waiting for me already, takes ahold of my wrist and pulls me along. We sneak across campus, towards the gate in the back of the wall surrounding Samezuka. It's locked, as are all exits at night, but Sosuke kneels down next to a rose bush nearby, grabs something small and shiny from the dirt surrounding it and rushes back over to me.

"Okay, we have to run as soon as the gate's open. There's a cab waiting for us a short way down the street", he mutters while frantically turning the key and opening the barred door.

I nod and slip outside, bolt down the dimly lit street at full speed until I reach the black car that's parked near the sidewalk with running engine. Soon after, Sosuke's steps approach from behind and he motions me to get inside. I open the door, throw myself onto the backseat and wait until my best friend jumps into the car next to me.

"Made it!", he gasps, out of breath but grinning like there's no tomorrow, then he gives the driver an adress and leans back in his seat.

While we slowly regain the ability to breathe normally again, I lean against the window and look outside. My heartbeat is still skyrocketing and I love it. I absolutely love this adrenaline boost. The drive isn't long and soon enough, we're standing in front of a house that's shaking with music and colorful lights. Sosuke grabs my arm again and drags me inside. Our hair is even messier from our escape and I feel like everybody is staring at us, staring at _me_ when we enter. There's a strangely welcoming feeling about the strobe light dancing across my body, about the way the music is fighting to become my pulse, about the way everything looks alive with how much the room is shaking from the throbbing bass.

"Sosuke!", a guy yells from across the hallway and waves us over. "Brought someone, I see?"

I can't even ask his name when he already pushes an ice cold can of beer into my hand and winks at me with a sultry look.

"Boy, I can't wait to see you dancing. Enjoy the night, guys. If you're looking for me, I'll be in the garden. We have a little pool party going on at the same time. Join us outside once you're up for a little fun."

Sosuke grins before he turns back to watch me. I hesitantly lift the beer to my mouth. We have training tomorrow and I don't know if I should really get drunk... But the first sip convinces me otherwise. It's delicious. I down the can in one go, until white foam is dripping from the corner of my mouth and my throat aches from the cold liquid.

"I see you're good. Drinks in the kitchen, food in the living room. Later, Rin. I've got someone to look for."

With those words, he disappears into the crows and I exhale shakily. The different perfumes and colognes mask the scent of the people here, but judging from what I can smell, there's only Omegas and Betas. Safe enough to go wandering around on my own. I grab another can of beer from the kitchen and start exploring the house a little. The living room is crowded with people dancing, standing around in small groups, eating pizza and sipping their drinks. It looks like everybody is just enjoying themselves and I soon find myself in the middle of a conversation about favourite songs with a few guys and girls I don't even know, but they all welcome me into the circle without a second thought and I really start to get into the whole party-thing again.

After quite some time and a few too many drinks later, I find myself out by the pool with the host, the guy who's greeted us earlier. He slings one arm around my shoulder and we start chatting about who I am and how I know Sosuke. When I tell him that I'm from Samezuka know, he just laughs and nod.

"Ah yes, the house of cockblock. You swim too, aye? I remember him talking about Matsuoka, the team captain. Amazing. Hey, what do you say we go for a dip in the pool? Some shoulder wrestling with the girls is always fun."

Suddenly, warm air hits my bare chest and legs and we jump into the water, only clad in our shorts. The people around us cheer when we propose a new game and a pretty Omega girl gets onto my shoulders. I smirk up at her and she laughs, tugs at my ponytail and waves her drink.

"Come on Shiki!", she yells at her friend and the girl quickly opens her blouse that's tied together in front of her chest, throws it into the crows of guys watching and joins us in the water.

Gasping and flipping her long, black hair out of her face, she climbs onto the host's shoulders and we start playing. A few other couples soon join us and I can barely tell if I've swallowed more alcohol or pool water today, but I'm having so much fun either way that it doesn't matter. Me and the girl - her name is Amya how I find out halfway through our playfights - finally claim victory over the last opponents and when I throw her from my shoulders with a laugh after our final win, she surfaces again, wraps her legs around my waist and kisses me deeply, her long hair still dripping water onto my face. We end up in the corner of the pool, just making out for a while before her friends call her back over and she wanders off with a seductive wink and a promising _"See you later"._

"Good game, you're fun!", a guy suddenly laughs above me, helps me out of the pool and hands me a towel and my clothes back. "Hey, what do you say we-"

The rest of his sentence kinda gets lost in the static that suddenly fills my ears because over his shoulder, I spot someone. The towel drops from my hands and I forget that I've wanted to tie my shoes just now. The guy in front of me scowls a little and waves his hand past my eyes, but I stare straight through him before finally, my brain snaps out of it and allows me to move again.

Am I this drunk already?

Am I seeing weird stuff?

It can't be, can it?

I take a slow step foward, closer towards the person across the pool who's now walking towards the edge of it, sitting down to let their legs be submerged in the cool water, head lowered and eyes half-lidded. Out of place, annoyed to even be here. Just like always, just like I remember. And suddenly, it doesn't matter that everybody's soaked in perfume - this one scent stands out so distinctively that I would've recognized it in Coco Chanel's testing facility. Like white musk and fresh morning air, a breeze carried over from the sea that tastes a little bit salty if you lick your lips. That's you.

"Haru?", I ask in wonder and kneel down next to you on the stone tiles that surround the pool, probably too close to be socially acceptable.

And you look up at me with those eyes, those ridiculously dark blue eyes that mirror the moonlight like the ocean does in a calm night. You just look back at me and don't say a single word. It's like you don't even recognize me. I hesitantly lift one hand and brush a strand of hair behind my ear. Am I hallucinating? Are you even real? Or am I imagining stuff? But then your pale lips part and you furrow your brows a little.

"Rin...?"

I nod slowly and you turn to the side, study my face like you haven't seen me in a lifetime - which you haven't, if I'm honest. The last time we've met is during winter break in middle school.

"What... are you doing here?", I ask quietly, eyes wide and voice shaking. "Why are you here? How long have you been here? How are you? How... how have you been?"

My mind is dazed with that scent, that incredibly comforting scent that tastes to good on my tongue and in my lungs and I'm stuttering, rambling about senseless things while all you do is stare back at me, seemingly just as surprised and overwhelmed as I am.

"I'm... I'm good", you finally respond, but your answer is slow and delayed, like your mouth isn't working in time with your brain. "Just got here. I just... yes, I just got here. With Nagisa. And Makoto."

My breath is falling in synch with the pounding music, deafening shouts ring in my ears along with the song playing. You're right across from me, maybe an arm's lenght away. You're right in front of me. And you're looking at me with those beautiful eyes I haven't seen for what feels like a decade. And just as you stare at me like that and I take deeper breaths to calm myself down, my thoughts come to a sudden halt.

Alpha.

This is the scent of an Alpha.

You are an Alpha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a story inspired by a roleplay which itself has been planned and beautifully written by the best and sweetest person who doesn't give up on me, even if I'm hiding from the world.
> 
> Thanks for still caring.
> 
> Thanks for an amazing roleplay.
> 
> Thanks for the best time ever.
> 
> Everyone else, please enjoy their wonderful thoughts and ideas as well. They have full credit for the plot of this story, even though I changed it a little.
> 
> (◕‿◕✿)


	2. Chapter 2

"You're... you're..."

My voice keeps failing again and again. I don't know why I've suddenly realized this. But it's there, and now it feels like I've always known.

"And you are an Omega", you respond quietly. "You never told me. You never called. You never wrote me any letters. You never visited."

I turn my head to the side to somehow hide my blush, but you gently push my chin towards you again so I'm forced to look at your face. Your expression has turned from usual deadpan to something strange - gentle and comforting. My blush darkens until my face is burning with shame. 

"S-Stop... Stop looking at me like that!", I finally splutter embarrassedly. "What was I supposed to do? I didn't know your number or E-Mail adress and they literally lock us up at Samezuka every day except for the Omega tournaments! How was I supposed to visit you if I can't go anywhere without my teachers?"

You curve one eyebrow at me.

"You managed to sneak out for a party, but never to visit me?"

"Sosuke made me come along. I didn't want to go at first. This is the first time I'm breaking the curfew. I know I should've at least try to contact you somehow, but I was so busy with my own training that I somehow... forgot", I mutter and lower my head a little when the scent coming from you turns bitter with a feeling that smells like frustration or at least annoyance.

"Hm."

You get to your feet. I watch you stand up, stare at the muscles flexing beneath your flawless skin. You've gotten beautiful. Tall and lean with ebony black hair and chiseled jaw, toned chest and abs. And you're so calm, so composed. You're nothing like I pictured Alphas. You're nothing like the feral beasts they told us Alphas are. You don't growl and snarl at me, don't try to touch me, don't try to take me to a secluded corner to get me alone or anything. You're just the normal Haru I've known for most of my life. You're just a normal teenager like me, on a party we've been dragged to. I quickly get up as well, follow as you saunter off, towards the house.

"Are you mad at me now?", I snap. "Really? You're such a child, Haru. Sulking because I haven't visited you? Come on!"

Forgotten is the fact that you're an Alpha, that I should probably show some respect, that you could easily overpower me if you wanted to. You are my childhood friend, my favourite rival, my inspiration, my shining. You're not someone to be feared. You're someone to be pursued and chased after, to be beat in races and challenged to competitions. I miss it to swim with you. I haven't been in the lane next to you since grade school. I wonder if we'll ever meet at a tournament again. After all, they have separat races for Omegas.

"I'm not mad at you", comes the curt response as you push through the crowd.

"Then why are you running from me?", I yell after you and try to catch up. "I just met you again after so long, don't leave yet! Let's just talk for a while! Haru, please!"

You stop so abruptly that I almost stumble over my own feet while trying to avoid slamming into you at full speed. Your blue eyes look suspicious, but a warm shine is filling them from deep within as you glare back at me.

"You want to talk? But... after what happened during our last race... I thought you wouldn't..."

I shake my head, interrupting you effectively when I finally realize what you're trying to say.

"Stupid, I'm not mad anymore. I got back in shape and now I'm here, competing at national level. Sure, my loss was a huge throwback, but I kept training. I didn't give up. I thought that once we meet again, I should be able to beat you. So I kept pushing on. I'm okay now. Was just an overly dramatic kid back then", I scoff and you smile again, hesitant, but it's a honest smile.

"You still are. Chasing me like this, holding sentimental speeches at parties to get me to stay. But I don't mind. Yes, let's talk."

We grab some snacks from the living room and walk upstairs to sit on the balcony of the host's room. From here, the music isn't as loud and our conversation isn't interrupted by someone yelling every other minute. We talk for what feels like hours on end. Well, it's mostly me who's talking, but you tell some stories too. From your wins with Makoto and Nagisa and another Alpha I don't know yet. I'm glad to hear everyone is alright. Makoto, you and Nagisa are going to Iwatobi High and I envy you all for being able to live at home all year long.

"... but there's nothing big going on at the moment", you finally conclude and look down at your hands. "But... what about you and that friend of yours? Sosuke? Is he your mate?"

Your voice sounds colder as soon as you mention Sosuke and I suddenly shudder at the thought of being mated to my best friend. It's so... wrong. Repulsive, almost. No, I could never be mated to Sosuke.

"Ugh, no. Lucky me. If he were my mate, I'd go through hell on a daily basis. Nah, he's my friend from before I met you, Makoto and Nagisa. I swam my first relay with him, but after that, we somehow drifted apart during my time in Australia. We met back up at the Samezuka academy and grew to be best friends again. I'm kinda happy to have him there because the others are mostly boring idiots, so it's good to have Sosuke with me, but he can be annoying too. Like when he goes out to let himself be banged by someone. He always tells me to come along and try it too, but I don't really... feel like it. Our teachers say..."

I sigh and stare up at the starry sky above us. Dark grey clouds are drifting across the horizon. You shift a little in your seat to look at me.

"Your teachers say what?"

"That we shouldn't go out without a Beta or the teachers in general", I mutter grumpily. "They tell us that every Alpha we come across will try to assault us, hurt us, or mark us. It kinda... made me want to stay at the academy out of free will. I don't want to be mated to a random Alpha. But now, that I've seen what you are like... you as an Alpha... I'm not so sure what to think anymore. I mean, we're friends, but the teachers say that even our Alpha friends would turn their back on us. Yet here we are, sitting around, eating, talking, just having a good time. I don't understand. I want to keep doing this."

You make a soft noise of acknowledgement and follow my gaze. It's a beautiful, calm night. I wish it would last forever. I don't want to go back to Samezuka, now that I've met you again. Sure, I'll graduate in two months, but those months will be horror, knowing that you're out here, ready to be scouted anytime, taken away from me to a place I can't ever follow. I'll have to go to a university that is solely for Omegas while you're going to an Alpha college.

"Maybe... maybe some Alphas are like that. Maybe some Alphas turn against their friends. I'm not like that. I don't care if we're Omegas or Alphas or Betas." Your gaze shifts from the sky above us to the pool below. "I just want to forget about all that. Just keep talking to you, too. Like we used to before you left for Australia. When we were kids and Alphas and Omegas were never even a thought." Your voice seems to stall a little at the mention of Australia. "When you left... and went to Australia... I thought I'd never see you again. I feel like I'm going to sound stupid, but I really missed you. When you were gone, it just didn't feel right. Even being in the water felt different. It... didn't feel alive anymore once you left. But now you're back. And it may seem weird, but everything feels right now. Like you're back, you're really back. I'm not daydreaming in class... you're actually back. But if you leave..."

Your gaze drops to the ground, proud posture slumping a bit at the thoughts obviously racing in your head - none of them being good. You compose yourself, breathing deeply.

"If you leave again, if you leave _me..._ I don't know. I couldn't stand to lose you again. I don't know what I'd do if you slipped through my fingers again."

This is the longest sequence of sentences strung together I've ever heard of you, and it's even something deep and emotional. My eyes sting and burn and I quickly wipe any potential tears away. Why am I feeling so dizzy and hot all of a sudden? Why is there a sickeningly sweet taste running down my throat like molten honey? Why does it feel like someone is choking me? Why isn't there enough air? I bolt to my feet, grasp the railing as well and lean forward, trying to take a deep breath, but all I get is a surge of your scent, your taste, your everything. It's like someone is feeding me delicious poison, bit by bit, tearing my insides apart.

I keep track of my cycle. Today is a green day. I've had my heat for this month. I've spent four days in my nest, howling and crying in pain and pleasure, begging for someone to come and safe me from the agony. Sosuke has slept next to me every day and night, has fed me when I was too weak to eat myself and has forced me to drink a bottle of gatorade every other hour to keep me from dying of dehydration. He's kept me down when I've been trashing in my sleep because even during the night, heat is relentless. I don't want to do this again. Not again, not again. I can't do it again. I'm too drunk and too far from home to go into heat.

"-in! Rin, stop screaming, what's wrong? Are you alright?"

The voice breaking through the wall of panic sounds just as scared as I'm feeling right now.

"No, no, I'm not!", I manage to cry out in horror. "No, I'm going to... I'm..."

My knees buckle and I drop to the floor, panting, gasping, moaning. The pleasure is getting unbearable. Why is this all happening so fast? Usually I have at least an hour until the heat kicks my ass full force! You have gotten down next to me, holding my shoulders so I won't fall forward and hit my head, your face is blurry in front of me. I see your lips move, but I don't understand what you're saying. You smell like Alpha, like safety and comfort and I move towards you instinctively. You can help me. I know it. You can make this stop, you can satiate this raging desire.

This is what I've been missing all along, all throughout my life.

This musky scent that fills my lungs so good, so calmingly. Those strong hands on my body, your eyes on my skin. This promising taste on my tongue. Why did they hold this away from us? Why don't they want us to feel so good? Why do they tell us Alphas are bad when you feel so _right?_ Because even if you're scared, even if there's sheer panic in your eyes, I know that you'll keep me safe, that you'll look out for me until I'm better.

"Rin, talk to me, tell me what's happening, tell me what's wrong!", your voice echoes in my ears, but I'm too out of breath to answer.

I know I won't have long until I'm incapable of thinking clearly. I know I could probably just let go and leave you to handle the situation, handle my heat, handle me, but I really shouldn't. I should try to get to Sosuke. He knows how to take care of me. He knows the fastest way to take me home, he knows where my nest is, he knows what I need right now. And Makoto and Nagisa are here, too. Alphas. They'll sniff me out within seconds. I'm so scared. Our teachers have been right all along.

"Sosuke", I choke out, chest heaving and throat aching. "You need to... find Sosuke. He is... he knows..."

I don't get further before the next heatwave hits me with the force of an oncoming train, makes me double over in pain and despair. My insides clench, harder than ever before, and hot slick starts to soak through my shorts and pants until the fabric between my legs is damp and sticky. I whimper pathetically and cling to your arm. You still haven't left yet, just keep kneeling in front of me like you're glued to the floor.

"Haru... I'm so... hot... help me, please...", I try to convince you to get up and look for Sosuke, but you just swallow audibly and keep stroking my sweaty hair.

"What's happening, what's happening... Rin, why are you... acting so weird? Rin, what's going on?"

If I could, I'd punch you in the face. Have you never heard of heat? Have you never fucking heard of Omegas in heat? Have you never... oh screw it, I'm going to do this myself. I can't wait until you've finally realized what's wrong with me. Gathering all power left in my body, I hold onto the balcony railing, climb to my feet and stand there for a moment, out of breath, shaking, trembling, sweating and sobbing in pain, but I'm not ready to subject myself to this torture yet. I still have a good chance if I get to Sosuke in time. Before you can stop me, I'm back downstairs, eyes frantically searching for my best friend. The people I pass turn to me with narrowed eyes and peeled back lips, scenting the air, interested.

They know.

Everyone but you seems to know.

"Sosuke!", I scream at the top of my lungs, clenching my fists to focus on something else but the searing ache that's creeping throughout my body with every beat of my heart. "Sosuke, please!"

Amya and her friend come rushing over to me, both talking at the same time, trying to grab my arms and pull me towards a calm corner, but I shake my head violently and turn my head to both sides, desperately looking for the familiar turquoise eyes that mean I'll be safe. But Sosuke is nowhere to be seen. He's gone. The fucker has gone and left me alone here. I'm near hyperventilation by now, even though Shiki is holding ice packs against my wrists to calm me down and Amya is on the phone, talking to the host, telling him what's going on. Not a minute later, the man appears in front of me. I'm curled up against the wall, flinching back from everybody who touches me. He runs one hand through his hair with a curse and turns around, yelling that if anyone sees Sosuke, they bring him here immediately. The whole party has come to a halt by now and I feel dozens of eyes on me, I hear them whisper and mutter amongst themselves. Someone has switched the music off and the house is eerily silent. Not that I care. I'm completely lost in the agony of having to be here, in a foreign place with nobody I know by my side. Until someone suddenly pushes through the crowd that's gathered around me.

"What's going on here? Why is-"

The voice stops abruptly, I hear a deep breath being taken. And then, a musky, agitated scent fills the whole room to the brim, making the Betas and Omegas all flinch back.

That's an Alpha.

And it's not you.

Amya and Shiki are still holding their ground in front of me protectively, but I know they're scared. They're just Omegas, faced with an Alpha who wants them out of the way. They don't stand a chance. The Alpha growls, dark and threateningly, and I feel my whole body tremble and go limp in response. I've never known they could so easily force submissiveness onto someone. Why did I come here? Why didn't I listen to my teacher? A hand reaches out towards me and the Alpha stalls a little, his scent weakens, wells up again, but this time it's different.

"R-Rin?"

The second he says my name I know who he is, but something heavy and large slams into his side, knocks him to the ground and the air is tense enough to cut it with a kitchen knife as you and Makoto start to fight. I hear someone screaming, growling and the sound of glass shattering.

"Haru, stop it! What's gotten into you?"

The fight continues, the noises keep coming. Only the gathered people are quiet, watching, not daring to interfere. I know that Alphas kill during fights.

Suddenly, it becomes quiet. Someone is breathing heavily, but they're walking towards me and then, a dark shadow shields me from everyone else's glares.

"Go."

It's a demand, not a threat, but it may very well turn into one of they don't obey. The stunned silence continues, then someone says something, but the words are so distorted that I don't understand what they're saying.

"Go! Don't look at him!", your voice suddenly bellows and everybody steps back in surprise.

Strong arms encircle me and your scent that has been so angry and determined just seconds ago wraps around me like a cool blanket, soothing and calming, to the point where I'm crying in relief, tears streaming down my face.

You even fought Makoto for me.

I don't want Sosuke to take me back anymore.

I want you.

I need you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

"Haru!", I sob, reach up blindly to claw the collar of your shirt. "Haru, Haru, Haru..."

You whisper something incomprehensible into my ear, lift me up with ease and I feel myself be carried outside. The cool night air does little to calm me down, but at least it's easier to breathe without everyone else standing around me like that. I hear you talking, feel you readjust your grip on me, I feel the leather of a car seat against my skin, hear the sound of an engine turning on and I see the streetlights flashing by.

My thoughts are completely messed up to the point where I'm barely thinking in words anymore.

_Hot... so hot... Haru, help me... do something... anything... I'm scared... nest... I want my nest... I want Sosuke... I want you... so empty... afraid... so afraid... where are we? I can't tell... I'm hot... take me home, Haru... take me to my nest... hold me, claim me, make me yours..._

I feel the car speeding up, the turns are getting sharper and the road becomes darker, the street lamps are spaced further apart and the people on the sidewalk disappear. It's too hot. I tug at my shirt, hear the fabric tear, but I don't care. I don't fucking care. Finally, I hear the tires screech as you slam the brakes and the car stops. You get outside and just when I want to scream your name, you _can't_ leave me now, the door to the passenger seat opens and you grab my arm, drag me outside, painfully so. My legs give out and I feel the rough concrete beneath my hands, the raindrops on my face when you help me get back up. Lightning flashes across the darkened sky and suddenly, it's pouring. The ice cold water is dripping from my hair, down my neck and chest.

"Come on", I hear a breathless voice whispering to me and then we're walking and a door is pushed open.

The scent of wooden floors and fresh laundry hits me straight in the face - and overall, it smells like _you._ Everything smells like you. Your scent is everywhere. It's killing me. But before I can break down completely, you somehow manage to drag me up the stairs, into a room, and I feel something soft beneath me when I finally lose all power and slam down onto what feels like a bed. My heavy breathing fills the room, your scent invades my body so violently that I can't tell the floor from the ceiling anymore and everything just _hurts._

"Haru!", I sob desperately, clawing at my belt, tearing it open and shoving my hips against the bed. "Haru, please, so e-empty... Please, do something, anything... touch me, mark me, claim me, make me yours, fuck me, take me, breed me, please, Haru, please!"

My voice is a full-on scream by now. I need you. I want you. I _need_ you. And when your hands finally settle on my hips, where they belong, my body melts into the sheets as I cry out in relief at the sudden touch.

"Calm... calm down Rin, this isn't you talking... it's just your body wanting those things...", you whisper and I can taste the insecurity seeping from your voice like venom, but your hands are steady and firm as they stroke my crotch and thighs and I whimper in pure pleasure.

"Inside me, inside...", I plead with tears in my eyes. "Haru, please, do something! I feel so empty, I need you! I need it, need you, need you inside, please, Haru, please..."

My body revolts when you get up from the bed a second later, another wave of pain making me cry out in agony. Why are you leaving me? Why aren't you touching me? I felt this connection between us tonight, I thought you felt it too! I thought... I thought...

Well, I probably shouldn't think in the middle of my heat. I've been wrong all along. You just brought me here because we're childhood friends. You wanted to safe me somehow, not realizing how much I'm dying right now, in the midst of your bed, your pillows, your blankets, your room, your house. Everything here belongs to you. Even I belong to you. It's weird and fucked up and maybe wrong, but I do. I belong to you. So naturally, so painfully obviously, like it's always been this way. It's like I've always been supposed to be here.

The sheets beneath me are getting damp with sweat and tears and slick. I sob, my hands clawing at the fabric, tearing at it as I try to keep my hands off of myself. It won't help. Nothing will help. Sosuke has tried to relieve me too in the past, in any possible way, but it only makes the waves last longer. I can't do anything about this. I can only wait until the wave subsides, until I can move enouth to get up and swallow as many painkillers as my body can take without overdosing on them. 

But obviously, you decided to replace my plan with a much, much better one.

Because suddenly, your hands push up my torn shirt, drag it over my head, throw it to the side and then your skin slides across mine and I feel that you're naked, that you're breathing just as heavily as I do. You're pushing against me with all your weight, keeping me down when I tense up and arch my back.

"Don't cry, don't cry now, I'm here, I'll do whatever you need me to do for you to feel better", you pant against my skin and then your hand is between my legs, pushing down my completely drenched jeans and shorts.

I try to pry you off, I try to get you to stop with all my might, but there's no use. You're too strong and my body doesn't work like it should, it's like someone has re-wired my entire brain over night. But if you touch me now, the wave will be longer. I don't want that, I don't want to be in heat anymore.

"H-Haru, no, no, don't touch me... ngh... d-don't touch me there, I can't... fuck, Haru, Haru, don't! Stop it, not t-there! Ahh!"

My hand shoots up to cover my mouth and my eyes fly open at the sudden rush of pleasure that washes over my abdomen and before I even know it, I'm coming across your hand, over my chest and the bedsheets. You have barely even touched me! I feel myself tremble at the aftermath of the sudden climax and you exhale shakily.

"Wow... you came so much from that... What is happening to us, Rin? Why am I... feeling so weird? Why are you..."

An almost desperate sigh leaks from your throat, you lean down to hold me and kiss me until I'm dizzy from the lack of air. I could come so easily again right now. I'm drowning in ecstasy, hands fisting your hair as I grind up against you. My whole being is running off pure instinct. You gently roll your hips against mine, stroke me at an agonizing pace that hurts, it hurts and it feels so good. Your fingers are covered with a silver sheen when you lift them to your mouth and lick them as I push against your thigh, longing for this pleasure you're so obviously capable of giving.

"You taste so good", you whisper against my lips and the kiss is not a kiss but rather bites and blood but it's okay, everything is okay if you just keep doing whatever you're doing.

Your fingertips graze the inside of my thighs, move up to my waist and back down. Just as I feel the frustrated mewl rising in my throat, you sink two fingers into me without any warning and I don't know if it's accidental or if some kind of instinct is guiding you, but my back arches so hard it hurts from the sudden surge of electric pleasure that shoots up my spine, makes white splotches explode in front of my eyes and my breath stops for what feels like a whole minute. Until you gently kiss my neck, my face, my lips, my collarbone and like it's just been waiting for that, my whole body collapses back into the sheets. The searing pain in my insides is slowly fading to a dull pulse and I take a shuddering breath before my glassy eyes open. I can barely make out your figure above me, but your scent and presence are enough to comfort me.

"Haru...", I mutter deliriously and reach up one hand to run it through your hair. "Keep... keep going... don't stop, don't stop now, please... want you... inside... please, inside..."

You moan my name, quietly, very softly, and I feel the hardness between your legs when you push against my thigh.

"I want you too, Rin, I want you so much, I want... I want..."

Your voice, your fingers still buried in me, your breathless kisses everywhere on my body are enough to make me come for the third time, shamelessly crying out your name as I wrap both arms around your neck to hold you closer against me.

"You're so sensitive", you pant, eyes dark with lust as you run your free hand up my side, gently wipe the saliva from my lips and lean down to cover my mouth with yours again.

Your tongue moves against mine and I whimper into the kiss. It feels so amazing. Everything you do feels so amazing. Instinctively, I spread my legs wider and you groan, pull your fingers out slightly, only to push them back in with enough force to make me clutch the bedsheets to have something to hold onto. But suddenly, the emptiness is back and I blink hesitantly, desperate to have you back inside me.

"No, no, Haru, don't stop!", I cry out in horror when you lean back and stare at me, devour me with your eyes.

"I won't", you agree huskily before crawling forward again and pinning me to the mattress. Not that it would be necessary. Nothing and nobody can make me leave your side now. "Tell me if I hurt you. I don't want you to be hurt. I just want you, I want you for my own, I want you to stay with me forever."

Those firmly spoken words make me tremble to the core as I nod and scream your name again when you finally push into me, stretching me way past comfortable but it's fine, it's alright, because you're an Alpha, my Alpha, and you're going to mate with me and make this all stop, you're going to fill me up with your cum and knot me so nothing will go to waste, until it's certain that I'll be having your child, until I'm pregnant and nobody will be able to break us apart anymore.

"R-Rin..."

It's like nothing I've ever felt before when you thrust into me for the first time. Sure, they give us toys to use during our heats at Samezuka, but none of them has reached so deep inside me, none of them has ever made me fist the sheets and bite the pillows, none of them has left me so breathless with white fog spinning in front of my eyes like you do right now. I don't care what happened tonight, I don't even want to know, all I need to know is that you're here with me and you're touching me, holding me, and we're mating and it's the most amazing feeling ever. I never want to miss out on this again. Nobody is going to force me to spend my heats alone when you're around to make me feel so good.

"More... Haru", I sigh, reach out one hand and grasp your shoulder. "Do it harder, please, hurry! Come... come inside..."

I must be completely delirious. I know that a heat's only purpose is to get me pregnant, but I can't be having a child yet. I have a whole career waiting for me. I can't get pregnant yet. But it feels like I'll go crazy if you don't come inside me. From afar, I hear you suck in a sharp breath, your movements stop for a moment.

"Rin, I can't... I don't have any condoms here... I didn't think we would..."

The rest of your sentence drowns in a litany of curses while you grab a fistful of my hair, drag my head back and expose my neck enough for you to lean down and press your lips to the exact spot where my pulse is racing. I tremble and shake in your grip. One bite and I'd be dead. You could kill me with one single bite.

But you don't.

You just kiss the flushed skin and lean back up, hands grabbing my thighs to pull me even closer as my hips move to meet every thrust of yours.

"Who marked you?"

The words shake my dazed mind wide awake and I open my eyes to look up at you with heaving chest and parted lips. Marked me...? Nobody ever marked me. You are the only one allowed to mark me. And then I remember. Remember Sosuke's sudden attack in our dorm room. Remember his teeth gently grazing my skin, remember him sucking the purple bruise into my flesh. Remember how you attacked Makoto because he barely even touched me.

"N-Nobody!", I try to choke out in horror. "Just... just... Someone said..."

I'm scared. Scared you will get even angrier. Scared you'll hurt Sosuke if I tell you that it was him. I'm scared you'll abandon me here on your bed with only a taste of what I'm craving. Your fangs are bared, ready to bite down, ready to draw blood.

"Someone said what? I don't care. Their mark isn't supposed to be there. Nobody can mark you. Understood?"

You look just as taken aback by your own words than I do, but suddenly, it doesn't matter anymore because your shoulders tense and tremble and your eyes close as you push against me almost desperately.

"Rin... Rin, g-gonna come..."

I can't answer, my mouth is too dry to speak and the pleasure is too overwhelming, but everything about me is screaming Yes. To the point where my whole body feels sore with how much I'm aching for you to do just that. To come inside me and hold me and kiss me again and to fall asleep next to me and be there when the heat gets unbearable again. I want you to stay with me. I never want to miss you again.

Before I can finish that thought, you lean down, hold me closer and bury your face against my chest, breathing heavily, gasping and moaning. The next thing I know is that the world shatters into a million pieces right before me and the best orgasm of my whole life hits me so hard I can't do anything but cry out your name, over and over and over again, while you still thrust deeper into me and the pleasure continues seemingly forever.

It takes an eternity for me to calm down from, but once I think I'll be able to open my eyes again, my other senses slowly start to return as well. The static noise ringing in my ears stops, I taste blood on my tongue and feel my lips ache from how hard I've bitten down on them. A warm body is resting half on top, half next to me, hot breaths gently caressing my skin.

"Haru...", I mutter, still a little dizzy. "Haru, move, you're heavy..."

You mumble something into the pillows in return but when you actually do move, an unexpected jolt of pain makes my whole abdomen cramp and you finally seem to regain consciousness too. After carefully lifting your upper body off of me, you groan a little and rub your face with one hand before your sapphire blue eyes scan my face with a strange mixture of worry, satisfaction and something I can't quite place.

"Are you... feeling better?"

"Safe from the fact that somehow, you managed to tear me up completely, yes!", I growl back in agony. "Haru, just get off... get off and o-out of me already!"

My face flushes bright red, tongue tied. Oh my God, what have we done? We really had sex just now. We met again after five years and the first thing we did was hit the sheets. But then I remember.

Party. Heat. So hot. Too hot. Makoto. The fight. Car drive. Your bed. Your voice. So much pleasure.

I nearly scream in panic and shove both hands against your chest. You gasp, grab my wrists to hold me in place and scowl down at me.

"Rin, what-"

"You fucking pervert, get off of me! I need to wash up, I need to get some sort of birth control pills! I'm not on supps, I could be pregnant! Oh God, Haru, just let me get up already! This isn't funny! What am I going to do if I'm pregnant?"

My voice hitches from how fast I'm talking, ice cold fear chokes me up. Why are you keeping me down like this? Why can't you just let me stand up and get my stuff and leave for the nearest hospital? I can't be pregnant, not yet!

"Calm down, Rin", you suddenly mutter, lips barely moving. "I think... we might have a problem. If I could, I'd get away from you. But..."

But what? What could possibly-

_Oh._

My eyes widen when I shift my hips and feel my muscles contract unwillingly again when your knot tugs at my entrance. My whole body is so determined to get pregnant, now that I've found an Alpha.

My Alpha.

My Alpha, who's probably going to leave me if I really am pregnant because I know you aren't a big fan of kids and you probably aren't a big fan of me either, at least not enough to be my boyfriend, let alone the father of my children. If I really am pregnant, Makoto will probably force you to at least pay child support, but how could I possibly spend your money on the kids you didn't even want? This is all my fault. Stupid me, stupid heats...

The tears start pouring before I can stop or hide them and the sobs are almost painful. My chest hurts, my lungs ache. Why didn't I keep searching for Sosuke? What kind of slut am I? Making you knock me up and then forcing a responsibility on you that you never even signed up for?

"Rin, why are you crying? Am I hurting you? Are you hurt? Calm down and tell me what's wrong so I can fix it, please", I hear your concerned voice from above me and sob even louder.

"I... I'm sorry! I promise, if I'm p-pregnant, you won't... won't have to care for the kids! You don't have t-to pay for them, e-either! It's my fault, everything is my fault! I know you don't actually l-like me and that you were just... just trying to h-help me, I know you n-never... ever wanted something like this to... to happen..."

I turn away from you, bury my face in one of the blankets beneath me and close my eyes. Why, why, why did I go into heat again tonight? This wouldn't have happened if my body wasn't an idiotic piece of shit!

"What are you saying?", you suddenly ask very lowly. "What are you even talking about? Rin, if you're pregnant, we'll figure something out, I promise. And now stop crying. Please. Don't cry."

I sniff, once, twice. Your hand is gently stroking my hair, fingertips curling into the perfect places that make me purr helplessly and arch into your touch. For a while, we just stay like this. Me trying to catch my breath, you caressing every single inch of my body with both hands like you're admiring a piece of art.

"Better", you whisper when my chest isn't heaving anymore and the tears have dried from my face. "And now calm down. I understand that I'm probably not one to talk since it's your body, not mine, but we'll figure it all out. It'll be alright. It was my fault for not pulling out sooner, anyway. But you felt so good and I... lost all sense of reason, somehow. I always seem to when I'm around you."

You lean down a little and I look up at you, eyes half-lidded. Are you going to kiss me? I really want you to. I want you to kiss me and say it again, I want you to say that everything will alright again. But how can I expect that from you? Sleeping with me because of my heat is acceptable, but how could I expect you to kiss me like we're lovers, like we belong? You stop, hesitate, avert your gaze. I knew it.

"You... probably don't want me to kiss you", you suddenly speak very softly. "Sorry for that. I know you were in heat and it made me lose control too. If you want to, we can pretend it never happened. We can-"

I grab your neck and pull you down until our lips meet and for this short moment when your tongue slips into my mouth so easily, like we've done this a hundred times before, I close my eyes and pretend we have. I pretend we've been on a nice date this evening and we have just exhausted ourselves pleasuring eachother and we've wanted this, we've wanted to try and have a baby, and I pretend we want to be here, we want to exchange lazy kisses and gently whispered words.

"Rin...", you sigh quietly against my lips.

Your voice saying my name will probably be forever my favourite sound in this world. You have a way of speaking, a way of dragging my name out to make it sound just as pretty as it is powerful. I open my eyes slightly to glance up at you and see the faintest blush on your cheeks. It almost looks cute. Just as I want to reach up one hand and run it through your hair, my body suddenly relaxes from its tensed state and you seem to be just the same. The unexpected emptiness feels weird, but I still sigh in relief when you finally pull back.

"I'll... I'll go clean up in the bathroom before the next wave hits me", I mutter, swing both legs over the edge of the bed and carefully get up.

It hurts, but it's not unbearable. You were actually gentle on me. Either this calmness is a Haru-thing, or Alphas aren't half as bad as they try to tell us at school. You are one, after all, and you just helped me through my heat without marking me or claiming me or whatever, and now you even grab my hand from behind.

"Be careful." Your voice cracks a little, then I hear you taking a deep breath. "What do you mean, the next wave? Isn't this a one-time thing? You go into heat, you mate and it's over?"

I freeze. What do they teach you in outside schools? Have you never watched any porn? Is it just you who cares more about water and swimming or are all Alphas so oblivious?

"Sorry to disappoint, but no. It comes in waves, and they're never far apart. The longest break I had was twenty minutes. Usually, it doesn't last longer than seven. But if you just leave me alone, I'll get through the rest of my heat on my own."

Suddenly, I miss my nest and I miss knowing that Sosuke is with me, that I can just reach out my hand and he'll hold me through the pain and pleasure that sometimes blend so well, I don't know if it hurts or feels good anymore. But now that I've been with you, now that I've been with an Alpha, I know that neither my nest nor Sosuke's presence will be enough to calm me down anymore. Nothing will be enough but you.

"Seven minutes. We passed that mark ten minutes ago", your voice suddenly reminds me with a slightly impatient tone. "Look, I don't know much about heats and Omegas, so teach me. I'm here with you and this is my fault. If I hadn't triggered your heat, we'd both be fine. But I have and I can't change that, so at least let me help you. You don't have to push through this alone."

Your grip on my wrist tightens a little and I turn around, eyes wide and dark.

Of course.

That's why it happened so suddenly, so fast and so violent. That's why I didn't mind you taking me away from the party, from Sosuke. That's why I wanted you to make me pregnant, that's why I asked you to claim me.

You triggered my heat.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

"Are you mad at me now?", you ask quietly, with lowered gaze and shoulders. "I know triggered heats shouldn't happen. I know that Omegas only get triggered when... when they feel too strong about an Alpha. Maybe it was me talking about how I felt after you left for Australia. Maybe it was me talking about you leaving again. Whatever it was, I'm sorry for saying it. I never meant to make you feel like you did. But... I'm really glad you did. I want you. Not because you're an Omega and I'm an Alpha now. I wanted you already when you came back that winter five years ago. But I couldn't say that to your face after I hurt you so badly. But I can say it now. I want you, Rin."

My mind is blank like a cover of freshly fallen snow. I forget that I wanted to clean up, I forget that I'm starving and parched, I forget that I may or may not be pregnant, I forget that I'm still sore and sensitive. All I know is that my second wave comes crashing down without any warning and that the bedsheets are completely drenched in sweat, slick and cum by the time you've knotted me for the second time tonight and we're both fast asleep, exhausted, sated for the moment, curled up against eachother so tightly that not a single sheet of paper would fit in between us.

\- - - - - -

The hollow feeling jolts me awake in the dead of night and I whimper softly. How long have I been sleeping? How long have I been in heat already? Your arms are coiled around my waist in a protective-possessive way that keeps me from moving any further than arching my back a little. You look tired, even in your sleep, and though dark fog starts to creep into the corners of my eyes, I somehow manage to slip from your embrace. I can't possibly expect you to get up now just to fuck me into oblivion again. You've done enough for me already. As quick and quiet as possible, I leave the bed and walk down the hallway, towards the bathroom. I've been here on too many sleepovers - well, more like I crashed at your place, whether you liked it or not. At least, I still know the basics of your house. And of course you still don't have a shower. Scoffing despite the aching fever in my veins, I turn on the faucet and splash some cold water to my face, my neck and chest. I'm covered in love bites and bruises from where you've gone a little overboard, but it doesn't matter. It's perfect like this. I trace the marks with one hand, all the way down to my hipbones and thighs where instead of hickeys, there are red crests from your fingernails digging into my skin. I want to look like this for the rest of my life so everbody knows I belong to you. Something hot slowly drips down my legs and I moan softly before leaning over the sink to have something I can hold onto. My insides revolt at the sudden emptiness and all I can think of is having you here with me right now, working your fingers into me like before because you are good with them and you know it, you always get that smug look on your face when you brush all my favourite spots with one thrust, one curl of your fingertips...

"Did you expect me not to follow you?", your voice suddenly breathes against my cheek and I shriek and jump but you're faster than me and keep me in place, bend me over the sink a little further. "Did you expect me to stay put? Bad guess. Spread your legs."

Your grip on my hips eases when I mindlessly follow the command and just as I'm about to beg for you to fill me up again, one more time, you suddenly trail your tongue up my inner thigh.

"Look how much of a mess this is. It's all going to waste because you were, what?", you mutter against the heated skin. "Too embarrassed to wake me up? Too stubborn to realize that you need me right now?"

I'm a trembling disaster, my face feels like it's burning up. How can you say things like this so nonchalantly? Why are you never ashamed for anything? Why are you never hesitating to do something everyone else would think of as weird?

"N-No, Haru!", I choke out in horror when your tongue pushes against my entrance and I feel even more slick leaking from me. "What are you... what are you doing? Stop! Ahhh! Don't... don't lick t-there, idiot!"

You just tighten your grip on my arm, squeeze it as a quiet warning for me to keep still and I do, even though my not-yet completely heatstruck mind is panicking. This is torture. Sweet, delicious torture. Never before in my life have I heard my own voice like this. Begging, pleading, crying out your name, cursing, moaning, gasping, demanding more. It doesn't even sound like my voice anymore, but who cares about trivial stuff like that? The most important point is that you've made me come dry four times in a row by now with just your tongue and I'm sobbing when you finally get up, pull my hips back against you and slowly push into me.

"Why didn't you wake me up?", you ask hoarsely while you pry my jaw apart when I clench it to stifle the sounds that are threatening to spill from my lips. "Why are you running from me? You didn't respond to me before, either. I want you. But do you want me too? In your life, as your friend? Or do you want me the way I want you?"

I feel tears rising into my eyes when you emphasize every single question with a much too forceful thrust. I'm going insane, there's no other explanation for this feeling. Running completely off instinct, I lift my head to look back at you. Your fingers are still toying with my tongue, slow and sensual in contrast to how hard you pound into me. The wave is reaching its peak, but being in heat has never felt so good. The pain that I'm so used to have coursing through my whole body is nowhere near unpleasant this time, your scent engulfs me like a safe curtain that shields me from the rest of the world and tells me that everything is going to be okay as long as you're here. With a quiet sigh, you pull back, take my arms and turn me around until I'm facing you.

"Hold onto something."

That's all you say and I barely have time to clutch the marble edge of the sink behind me when you already lift me up slightly and enter me again, the first thrust sending white, blazing fire from my spine up to my head and I hear someone scream as I come, only to realize that I've been the one screaming. With a soft, shaky exhale, I collapse forward and against your chest, eyes closed and throat hurting. Your free hand curls into my hair while you drag me in for a kiss, gentle and comforting.

"Good. And now tell me. Do you still want me in your life? Even after what I've done to you?"

You're still thrusting your hips up against mine, but at a much more steady, controlled pace to let me down slowly from my sudden high. I feel like every nerve in my body has been stripped bare and drowned in pleasure.

"Of... of course I want you", I mutter, still dazed. "You hurt me, but I think I hurt you more when I left. I'm never going to hurt you again, I promise."

You nod slowly, bury your face in the crook of my neck and let go of my hips, making me sink down against you even further. I gasp for air when you fill me up completely and arch my back, hands raking through your hair.

"I hope you plan on sticking to that promise. Because right now, I won't let you go. Not anymore."

It's like coming home after a long day of work - sinking into your arms like this and letting you take care of everything. And there's the pro of hearing you moan my name when you reach your climax too, along with the feeling of your knot thickening, locking us together for another twenty minutes or so. Sure, we're not in the most comfortable of situations, but as long as I have you this close to me, we could be God only knows where, for all I care. I purr softly without even wanting to when you kiss me, the taste of salt lingering on our lips, but my body seems to act on its own lately anyway.

"Haru...?", I mutter after quite some time while you're drifting off a little. "What... what would we do if I got pregnant? I'm in heat, I'll be even more receptive than I usually am, and my fertility levels have always been high up."

You look up at me with a small frown, obviously thinking about my words.

"Well, it's still not sure, is it? We're both eighteen. Are you supposed to have children yet, at your age? When they don't even want us to be official?"

I shake my head impatiently and move a little, causing the searing pain from before to flare up again that firmly tells me to stay in place.

"No, idiot, I'm not supposed to have kids. But I'd never agree to an abortion. You can't punish a child for being born just because his Daddy is stupid enough to get himself knocked up by his childhood friend during a one-night stand. Well, in our case rather four-night stand or so, depends on how long my heat lasts this time."

Lifting your gaze, you stare me down coldly and for the first time, you look remotely like the Alphas I've heard about at school.

"What do you mean, one-night stand? Do you see this just as a solution to your problems? Do you see me as a means to an end? Is that it? Is that what you're hinting at?"

The growl pushes from the depths of your throat and I shrink back, a light shiver taking hold of me as I try to avoid your piercing eyes.

"No, of course not!", I mutter hastily. "W-What... are you saying? I want this here! I want you! I was just... I'm... kind of angry at myself for... for being an Omega and all that shit, you know? Please, don't be mad, don't be angry."

My voice dies out into a whisper and I bite my tongue. All of a sudden, I'm scared of you. You have so much power over me right now, you could so easily hurt me or kill me or lock me up somewhere and never let me go back to my family again. You're an Alpha and now, you're showing it. At least for a few seconds. As soon as my scent weakens, flickers back to life as a bitter mixture of fear and insecurity, your defensive stance drops and you hold me closer to you again with a sigh.

"I'm not mad at you, I was just worried. I finally have you back from Australia and now you're talking like you'll disappear again after your heat is over", you explain quietly. "Even if you are pregnant and you decide to keep it, I'm with you. It would be my child just as much as it would be yours. It's not your fault for going into heat, it's mine for triggering it and not being able to resist you."

For a while, we just stay there in silence until the now familiar surge of relaxation washes over my body and you step back, offer me your hand and lead me over to the tub.

"Sit down. I'll run us a bath and we'll clean up. Let's worry about nothing but getting you out of your heat soon"

I snort, cross both arms in front of my chest and turn to the side a little.

"Of course. A bath will help us solve all problems. Let me guess, the water is going to know the answer", I mock and watch you roll your eyes at me while you turn on the water.

"Very funny. At least the water doesn't run from my bed in the middle of the night, where we'd have it much more comfortable than here in the bathroom. But I still like you better than water, I think."

You grab a few bottles from the cupboard above the sink and bring them over to the tub. I scoff and grin weakly.

"You _think?_ That's not fair. Why would you choose water over me? It may not run from your bed at night, but it's not sleeping there in the first place. And it definitely isn't letting you fuck it every other hour."

With that settled, I let myself sink down into the warm water, flinching a little at the sudden change in temperature. You drag two towels out of a small closet, drape them over the heater and switch it on before quickly slipping into the water along with me. I press against the side of the tub, a blush slowly rising to my cheeks. Now, that the wave has subsided again, all the embarrassment from the fact that we've just done it in the middle of the night, in your bathroom, like some kind of animals, comes rushing back to me.

"What?", you ask softly, staring down at the water like you've sensed my sudden shyness. "Getting self-conscious now?"

"Shut up, idiot", I mutter, curl up a little and close my eyes.

You shift a little on your side of the tub, I feel the warm water spilling against my skin, then a bottle cap pops and just as I want to look over at you, your soapy hands suddenly run across my arms, up to my shoulders and down the part of my chest that isn't submerged in water. It actually feels pretty nice and I open my legs, giving you enough room to move into the space between them while you spread the white foam across my body. When you lean down to kiss me, my lips part instinctively and I feel my lids sink down once more while your slippery hands move further down, wash the trails of dried slick and sweat from my thighs. Before it gets out of control, though, I grasp your wrist and pull out of our kiss.

"Hey, hey, where do you think you're touching?", I snarl up at you with a grim smirk when your disappointment becomes obvious. "You can't tell me you're up for another round already?"

For a moment, you just pout silently.

"It's not my fault. You're the one kissing me like that", I finally hear you mutter before you pull your hand back. "And it feels good for you too. You're the one in heat, after all."

I furrow my brows.

"Seriously, just because my stupid body wants to get pregnant doesn't mean I'm not sore after doing it three times in a single night!"

With a short sigh, you lather your hands in shampoo again and bury them in my hair, gently combing through the tangled strands.

"Noisy. Just keep still and let me clean up. Judging from how you look, you'll fall asleep any second."

I won't argue, it's nice to have my personal caretaker around. Resting my crossed arms on the edge of the tub and placing my chin on top of them, I let you wash my hair, rinse it off and wait until you've used your conditioner on it as well. It smells really good, a little bit like sweet tea and alot like you.

"Done. Don't hit your head when you get out, though", you say softly while putting the shower head back to the side. "The towels will be warm by now. I'll stay here a bit longer, so don't wait up if you're tired. And if your heat starts again, call me."

With that, you lean back and I climb out of the bathtub to wrap one of the fluffly towels around my shoulders so it'll soak up the dampness from my hair.

"Alright. See you later, then."

You don't respond, eyes closed and visibly relaxed. I wander off into the bedroom while rubbing myself dry. The bed is a mess and I scowl when I see it. We can't possibly sleep like this. Don't Alphas build nests? I wonder if you have one. Curiously, I wander through the house for a while, but find nothing. After reluctantly accepting the fact that I'm probably not going to stumble about something remotely close to a nest, I return to the bedroom and open the closet to get some fresh sheets and pillow cases - only to find it empty. It's a giant walk-in closet, with functioning light and a door you can shut from the inside, and there's not a single shirt or anything here. With raised eyebrow, I keep searching until I find out that all the clothes and other stuff you own fits into the dresser by the wall. Shaking my head at your collection of nearly identical swimsuits, I move further through the drawers until I find some clean bedsheets. But just as I want to walk back over to the bed, I hesitantly turn around to look at the closet again. Something in my head clicks and determinedly, I begin to change the sheets. Instead of preparing the bed though, I drag everything over to the closet, search the living room downstairs for a few additional pillows and blankets and start stuffing the closet with everything I can find that I deem suitable for a nest.

"What are you doing?", a voice suddenly asks from the doorway and when I spin around to face you, I see you standing there, your old dotted towel draped over your head to rub your hair dry while you watch me in fascination.

I shrug, shifting a little uncomfortably under your intense stare.

"Building a nest. Don't you Alphas do that too? Do you sleep in your beds all year long? That's gotta be so uncomfortable."

Shaking your head, you step closer and inspect my work.

"I know what you're doing, I was just surprised to see you do it here. And you even built your nest in my room. Makoto said usually nobody knows about an Omega's nest other than themselves and some close friends."

Oh, so you know that about Omegas, but not what's happening when one starts sweating and moaning right in front of you? A little disgruntled, I crawl into the newly built nest and rest my head on one of the pillows.

"Usually. It's different. You have to know where my nest is while I'm in heat. I can't have you running around the house, looking for me while a wave hits me full force", I mutter before rearranging some stuff. "And I'll move everything once I'm okay again so you won't know where I am. You still haven't earned it to find that out just yet."

You nod slowly, kneel down next to me and reach out one hand to touch my cheek.

"I'm still sleeping here tonight. You stole all my blankets."

"... 's not like I would've wanted you to stay anywhere else", I mutter and the blush on my cheeks darkens before I allow you to lie down with me and wrap one arm around my middle.

From that point on, I know nothing but that it's so much more comfortable here than in my nest at Samezuka. It smells like you and your skin on mine is the best feeling in this world.

\- - - - - -

The next day passes rather quietly. You make breakfast for us because I'm absolutely sick from hunger when we wake up around noon - mackerel, who would've guessed? But I don't even have the heart to complain about your choice of food today, just wolf down as much as I somehow can. I'll be burning those calories faster than I can take them in, I know that. During my heat, I could literally eat a whole 13-course meal everyday and not gain a single pound. After eating, we kind of just hang out on the couch, exchanging lazy kisses until I'm enough on edge again to let you take full charge of the situation. It's crazy how well you know my body after a single night because with even the most gentle touch, you can send me sky-high only to catch me after the fall. We start doing it in between the waves, too. The second we both feel good to go again, we're all over eachother within seconds. By now, I'm sure all neighbours know what's happening at your house, but I couldn't care less. Right now, I'm in that blissed-out state after two orgasms while you kiss my neck, hand trailing down my side, reassuringly and promising at the same time as you tug at the blanket I've thrown over us.

"Not again", I mutter sleepily and close my eyes with a smile when you pull me closer. "I'm tired, Haru. During the next wave, okay?"

You don't answer, just huff a little, frustrated, but you leave me alone. For now. After a few minutes of rest, your hand slips under the blanket again, your fingertips draw a burning line down my back all the way between my legs and I sigh softly, but shift a little so you have better access. Just as I close my eyes, preparing for you to enter me again, the doorbell rings. Not once, like a normal visitor would ring the bell, but long and aggressive. You look up, eyes narrowing dangerously and I lean forward to place a kiss on your lips.

"Just ignore it", I pant softly. "Don't stop now."

But the only answer you give me is a soft growl, just a quiet warning. You're irritated now. The ringing won't stop and despite the urgent fever taking ahold of me again, I jerk my head up in annoyance.

"God, fuck off! We're busy!", I scream towards the front door, but it's futile.

The ringing turns to loud banging against the wood and now, you get up, drag on your swimsuit that's been long abandoned on the floor in front of the couch and look down at me.

"Get dressed. At least your pants or something", you demand and I roll my eyes, but slip on the fresh set of shorts I've grabbed from your wardrobe this morning while you walk over to the front door, unlock it and open it. The second you do, a familiar figure bolts past you, into the living room and towards me.

"Rin!"

Before I can even say a word, Sosuke tackles me down, arms wrapping around me as he trembles and his scent is nothing but pure panic.

"Oh holy shit, I was so worried! Tori told me you went into heat at the party and some Alpha took you with him! I've been looking for you all night and day already until one of the girls at the party finally remembered his name! Fuck, you reek of Alpha, did he do something to you?"

His rant is only interrupted when he stares down at me and notices that I'm half naked on the couch beneath him, with probably swollen lips and my chest is littered with bite marks and bruises. Sosuke whimpers desperately.

"Shit, shit, shit! I didn't want that! Rin, it's alright now, it's alright! We're taking you home, okay? We're taking you back to Samezuka. God, I should've never brought you to that party! Did he... did he claim you?"

His hands brush my messy hair to the side and he exhales in relief when he sees that my neck is still untouched. Until now, I've been paralyzed, unable to process what's happening, but now I shove him back in anger. His touch feels wrong, his embrace feels digusting! Only you can hold me like this.

"Sosuke, get off of me! Haru!", I yell out with trembling voice. The sudden adrenaline is making my blood run hot and cold and I sense the next wave coming right up. "Haru, Haru, please!"

That's when I hear the crashing from the entry, the growl, the sounds of people fighting. Sweat is pouring down my back and chest as I carefully climb to my feet and move towards where the sounds are coming from, only to find you on the floor with two men clad in black and blue holding you down.

"Haru!", I scream in panic and want to bolt forward to make them stop, to make them leave you alone, but Sosuke catches my wrist and keeps me back.

"Are you crazy? Who even is this guy? Why are you going nuts over him like that?", my best friend gasps with strained voice as he struggles to pull me into his arms again. "What did he do to you to make you act like that? Rin, for fuck's sake!"

I fight his grip, blinded by rage and despair. They can't hurt you. They aren't allowed to hurt you. They can't take you away from me. Sosuke can't take me away from you. I need you, right now, forever.

"Let go of me, Sosuke, let go! Haru is my Alpha! Leave him alone! Leave him alone, you bastards! Haru, please, don't let him take me away!"

The tears drip down my cheeks without me noticing them at all when one of our coaches steps into the house, careful not to get too close to you or the two men dragging you back into the living room to clear the hallway

"Matsuoka-kun, I know what happened last night was bad, but it's over now", the coach mutters with a disgusted glare at you. "We will go to the hospital to make sure you're okay and that you won't suffer any consequences, and then we'll see what we can do about the Alpha who raped you."

My thoughts are spinning in tiny circles, my breathing is uneven and when he reaches out to take my arm, I flinch away so violently that my shoulders slam into the wall behind me.

"Raped me? Haru didn't do anything like that! Are you insane? Haru would never rape me!", I scream back and spin around, rush into the living room and even though the two policemen try to get ahold of me, I manage to shoulder past them and desperately cling to you.

As soon as my arms are wrapped around your neck, yours encircle my waist and I hide my face against your shoulder, sobbing quietly.

"No, please don't leave me alone! Haru, you can't leave me now!"

"I won't", you whisper back and your claws dig into my back and shoulder as you turn to the side, shielding me from their glares. "Just stay back and let me handle them."

I nod shakily and even though my whole being just wants to stay with you, I manage to let go and take a step towards the wall behind us. You turn back to the policemen and my coach, who is now impatiently shoving Sosuke towards the front door, telling him not to endanger himself as well. I hear the words _"confused"_ and _"doesn't know what he's doing"._

"Nanase-kun, get away from that Omega", one of the officers demands calmly and moves a little to the side. "I get that you might not intended to do this, but he will have to be taken care of now. Even if you feel like you're helping him, this isn't the right way. Matsuoka-kun needs an environment to make him feel safe, he needs to be at home in his nest. An unclaimed Omega his age shouldn't spend his heats anywhere else, do you understand me?"

It makes me freak out even more. They want to take me back to Samezuka, they think you raped me, they think I didn't want this whole thing?

"Are you fucking idiots?", I yell, clenching my fists. "I wouldn't be here anymore if he raped me! He gave me enough opportunities to leave during the night! I don't want to leave here! Haru is my Alpha! I want to be with him!"

The policemen exchange a weird look, then one of them shakes his head and turns to talk to me instead of you.

"That is what Alpha pheromones do with young Omegas. They mess with your mind until you don't know if you consented to something or not. They make you believe you wanted what they did to you."

The unsure feeling in my guts makes me feel nauseous and you spin around when you notice my scent changing.

"Rin? Are you-"

The second your attention leaves the man in front of us, he slams you to the ground and I see something silvery flashing in the warm sunlight flooding the room. It's a syringe, filled with some sort of clear liquid and your whole body goes limp as soon as he rams the needle into your arm and releases whatever chemical it is into your bloodstream.

"Haru!", I gasp and drop down next to you, pulling your head into my lap, desperately running one hand through your hair. "Haru, wake up! Please, wake up, wake up!"

Your eyes are closed, you're barely even breathing and when they grab my upper arms and pull me away from you, I can't even fight them anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, minna (◕‿◕✿)


	5. Chapter 5

It's too hot, even with the AC running, and nothing here smells like you. I'm completely alone in my nest, Sosuke being gone since yesterday already to talk to the police while I'm still here, barely even conscious anymore from the pain. It feels like it's been centuries since I've last been able to breathe normally. My whole body is rejecting Sosuke's scent that's all over the place, but what can I do? It's his dorm too, after all. Shivering and trembling, I reach out to grab the bottle of water from he's brought me earlier on and empty it in one go. Why haven't I at least gotten your phone number? Just your voice would help too, your voice would calm me down enough to finally be able to rest a little. I bite my lips, claw the sheets around me in agony and frustration and even though I know it won't change anything, call out your name again.

"Haru!"

"Whoa, calm down", a deep voice suddenly mutters and then, Sosuke closes the door behind him. I haven't even heard him enter. "That guy sure did a number on you. I talked to one of the forensics guys just now, and she said they didn't find any signs of sexual abuse on you during the rape kit. The headmaster is currently trying to figure out if he should believe your story or not, so chin up, maybe they'll let you see that guy again."

He holds out one hand and presses something ice cold to my forehead. I move into his touch, eyes slowly opening at his words. Maybe they'll let me see you. Maybe they'll let me go back to your place. I groan softly at the memory of last night, of how good it feels to have you with me.

"Come on", Sosuke says and I can hear the hidden hesitation behind his annoyed tone. "It can't be that bad. You haven't been acting up like this in a long time."

"You have no idea!", I bellow, fangs bared and flashing. "You have no idea at all! Haru is... Haru is my Alpha and those idiots are telling him to stay away from me! How would you feel, you asshole? Knowing that the only person who can make it stop hurting isn't allowed to see you? Fuck you, Sosuke, fuck you for real!"

He looks down at me, stunned. I haven't yelled at him in ages. Usually, I'm glad that he's here, usually I'm clinging to him as soon as my heat starts, but right now, he's making me sick. Everybody's making me sick. Everybody but you.

"Okay, okay, I get it. Here, the doc gave me those for you. He said you should take them as soon as possible, if you think you'll manage not to throw up afterwards. They'll... they'll prevent a pregnancy, even if you already are... pregnant."

He holds out three pills towards me and I stare at them in disgust. Now, of all things he could've said, he had to say _that?_

"Fuck off. I'm going to throw up sooner or later anyway, so there's no sense swallowing them now."

I turn away from him and shut my eyes as tight as possible, planning to never, never ever take those fucking pills. If I'm pregnant, then be it, for all I care. You said you'd stay with me anyway, I wouldn't be alone... But what would I tell my Mom? What would I tell Gou, Russell and Lori? My scout from the university I signed up for?

"I... I brought you something. The doctor said I should check on how you react to Nanase's scent now. If he really raped you, you should-"

Sosuke has reached behind his back to grab something from the bag he's brought with him and the sudden whiff of your scent flips my whole world over again. Before he can finish talking, I've already snatched your shirt from his hand and buried my face in the soft fabric. It's like fresh air to someone who's been locked up in a room without windows for years. I've never been so relieved to have someone's scent near me. My muscles loosen and I let myself relax completely into your shirt. Sosuke watches me quietly for a while before he speaks up again.

"You really weren't kidding, were you? He's actually your Alpha?"

I nod exhaustedly. Yes. You're my Alpha and I'm your Omega. We belong to eachother now. Maybe not by bond and mating marks, but we somehow belong.

"Alright, I've had enough. Get up, I'm taking you to him. He's waiting in the entrance hall", Sosuke suddenly says with firm voice and I sit bolt upright, staring at him with wide eyes.

"Haru... Haru is here?"

He nods and throws me a pair of my most comfortable shorts. I'm dressed faster than Sosuke can open the door, tugging slightly at your shirt. You're not quite as tall as I am and I have wider shoulders so the fabric is fitting snug against my skin, but that's fine. Closer means better. The walk to the foyer is short, but almost unbearable in heat. From afar, I can hear someone screaming and the hair on my neck rises a little.

That's your voice.

You're angry, very angry. And it scares me. But the prospect of seeing you again is enough to keep me moving forward. As we get closer to the front entrance, the voices get louder. Someone is trying to calm you down, but you just hiss and growl and then I hear you yell something. Suddenly though, it gets quiet. Completely quiet. We're close enough for you to catch my scent, I guess. Then, your voice gets so incredibly soft and desperate that it almost rips me in half.

"Rin?"

I escape from Sosuke's side, dash down the last part of the hallway and throw myself into your arms. You catch me with ease, bury one hand in my hair and grab my chin with the other to keep me in place while you kiss me, hard enough to bruise my lips.

"Haru, you came back for me!", I whimper when you finally pull back to let me breathe. "You didn't leave me!"

Clicking your tongue a little, you shake your head like it's the most ridiculous thing you've heard all day long.

"Of course I didn't leave you. I already told you that I won't."

Only now, I taste the metallic thickness of blood in my mouth and stare at you in shock. Your fangs... they're smeared with red, and so are your hands, your arms, your neck. You have scratches and bite marks everywhere. Did you fight this hard just to get here? The headmaster steps forward and grabs my shoulder quite roughly.

"Matsuoka-kun, since you're here, I guess Yamazaki-kun brought you. We're sorry for having you removed from your Alpha during your heat, you are allowed to go and stay with him for the rest of the week. But please, remember that there _will_ be consequences for breaking the curfew, sneaking out and illegaly attending a party."

I nod, not really listening to what he's saying. I want to be back in my new nest at your house with you, I want you to never make me spend my heats alone anymore.

"Let go of him", you suddenly snarl at the tall man behind me and he backs away, lifting both hands in surrender.

But just as you turn around to leave, literally dragging me along, I'm being held back once more. But Sosuke doesn't stop there, he pushes me aside and, with a deep growl emitting from his chest, grabs your upper arm. His knuckles stand out white from how violent he's being, but you don't even blink, even though it just _has_ to hurt. Sosuke, despite being an Omega, is intimidating to most people - tall, built like a brick wall, dark and brooding, yet your eyes stare back at him calmly. Not a single muscle in your body seems to move when he bares his fangs at you.

"You. If I ever hear of you hurting him, I'll kill you. And I mean it. Take care of him, and better take _good_ care of him. No water, gatorade. Contains more minerals, keeps him from fainting. And food. Lots of it. Not fish and salad and the usual athlete's stuff. Carbohydrates. Make sure he eats as much as he can in between the waves. Sometimes, he throws up during the breaks. Make him drink something and let him rest. He loves back rubs. They relax him, even when he's at the peak of his heat. And if you mark him before he wants it, if you dare to put your mark on him when he tells you not to, I will fucking destroy you. And no other Omegas. Don't you dare to fuck with his feelings. Understood?"

Sosuke is completely out of breath but angrier than I've ever seen him. You return his gaze, unflinching as ever.

"Understood, I asked?", he bellows and finally, you move, turn your head to the side just enough to show that you're not up for a fight.

"Understood."

Then, all of a sudden, your hand grabs mine, our fingers intertwine and you pull me past the front door. Your car is parked right in front of the school, engine still running. It's late already, an hour or two after midnight, if I had to guess. The streets are empty on the drive back to your house and I shift in my seat, moaning, clawing at my clothes. They stick to me like a second skin from slick and sweat soaking through them. Your sudden presence is like a jumpstart for my heat and it seems to affect you too, at least your gaze keeps wandering over again and again. When the car finally jerks to a halt, I slam you back into your seat, climb into your lap and reach down both hands to unbuckle your belt.

"R-Rin, stop it!", you gasp breathlessly but you don't really try to fight me. "We're... we're almost home and then we have the whole house to ourselves, we're-"

"Yeah, we're almost there, but I am in heat _now!",_ I snap back and finally manage to shove your jeans down. "Why do you always have to wear so stupid clothes, you idiot?"

Sapphire blue eyes glower at me from behind dark bangs as you grab my hips and help me steady myself before gently pushing up into me.

"Not my fault if you can't wait two more minutes. And now shut up and let me make this quick."

\- - - - - -

"Tell me something."

You look at me calmly before taking another bite of your food. After Sosuke's quite convincing speech, I have a few perfect slices of roastbeef on my plate, as well as some roasted potatoes while you stick to mackerel and rice. I tilt my head to the side and curve one eyebrow.

"What should I tell you?", I ask in confusion.

You shrug, lower your gaze to your plate and study the chopsticks in your hand as if they're the most interesting thing you've ever seen.

"I don't know. Tell me something about you. About Australia. What you like to do. What kind of friends you have now. What your tournaments are like. Anything. I just want to hear you talk."

Odd request, I'll admit it, but it's kinda cute. At least as cute as it can get with us both half naked in the dining room, trying to eat up as fast as possible, because well, the table would be cleared pretty fast if I went back into heat here.

"Umm... let's see...", I mutter and rub my neck. "Australia is nice. They don't have secluded schools there. Like, Omegas and Alphas are allowed to visit the same universities and the swimming tournaments are the same. It's completely normal for everyone to hang out together. I met two of my best friends there, too. Danny and Eric. You'd like them, especially Danny. He's quiet and calm, like you. Maybe you two would get along?"

I stop, take a swig of the bottle of gatorade you've put out for me and go back to eating. You just nod quietly, eyes fixed on my face. I shift a little uncomfortably under your direct gaze.

"My... my tournaments are going great. I'm closer to international record than I've ever been and my coach says if I keep it up like this, I can improve even more. A few sponsors have it out for me too already."

You nod thoughtfully.

"That's good. I'm... getting better as well. Maybe we can swim together again one day. Even though it's good to swim with Makoto, Nagisa and Rei, it's not the same as it is with you."

I lower my head and even though I know I should be eating, my appetite has vanished. Why, for fuck's sake, have I presented as an Omega? If I were an Alpha, we could hang out together and go to the same school and university and even train together and swim another relay together. We could go to parties together and take midnight drives and drink beer on the hood of your car somewhere high up above the sea and just talk about whatever. We could be normal friends if I were an Alpha.

At least then I'd know for sure that you like me for who I am, not for what I am.

"You're not eating anymore", you point out quietly. "Rin, it's almost been half an hour again. If you want to go to the bedroom-"

"You know what? No, just no!", I suddenly yell and climb to my feet. "Stay the hell away from me, Haru! Don't you fucking touch me anymore! I hate you!"

The sudden outburst surprises you just as much as it scares me. I'm in heat and I'm yelling at my Alpha. Some small part inside of me is cowering in fear. I'm not supposed to yell at my Alpha. Especially not now. But I push the thought aside unwillingly, spin around and storm off, up the stairs and into the bedroom. My makeshift nest is still where I left it. You haven't even tried to move any of it back to the bed. Breathing heavily, I stare at it for a moment, then I step into the closet and slam the door shut behind me.

This Omega part in me is acting up, freaking out completely.

I can't possibly stay here. You know where my nest is, you could come here any second and drag me outside or even do it in here... My instincts are demanding me to grab as much stuff as possible and go look for another place where I can set up a nest you won't discover so easily, but ironically, the next heatwave seems to disagree because it forces me down to my knees within a few seconds and I whimper softly.

"Rin?"

Only now I hear you walking up the stairs, probably lured by the sweet rush in my scent that comes with every wave. So I've been right. You only like my Omega part. We just match. Our second genders match, that's it. Makoto would probably be the same. Nagisa, too. I hate it. Hate that my body would probably react to every Alpha like that.

"Rin, let me in."

You knock against the closet door impatiently. I lift my head, instinctively following your voice, but it's easier to hold back this time. The worst part of my heat is over, I'm not really depending on you anymore. Sure, if I wasn't so mad at you, I'd comply willingly because heat or not, having you fuck me is the greatest feeling either way, but right now, I hate you, I hate you to the marrow of your bones and I don't intend to let you near me.

"Fuck off already!", I snap, breathing heavily. "Fuck off and get yourself an Omega who isn't expecting you to stay with him except during his heats!"

The banging gets louder, almost frighteningly so.

"Rin, open the door! What are you saying? What's gotten into you? You're in pain, I can smell it! Open the door, let me help you!"

I bite my lips and curl into one corner of the nest, trying to ignore every single symptom of my heat that's still kicking. I've spent five years of my life without you, I can hold on for another day or two. Just as I think that, I feel something in my pocket. It's the three pills Sosuke has given me earlier. One of them is a little cracked, but the other two are fine. After staring at them for a moment, thinking, pondering the consequences of my actions, I close my eyes, take a deep breath and swallow all pills in one go.

I don't want to have the child of a man who doesn't even care about me.

The banging against the closet door stops and I hear your steps fading away, only to return a few minutes later with a much calmer, much more soothing scent accompanying them. You knock against the door again.

"Rin, why are you locking me out? Stop being so childish already. If I did something to upset you, tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong."

I don't respond and you eventually stop asking in return. You don't sleep in the bedroom, either. I hear steps and rustling coming from the living room beneath me, then it gets quiet. You didn't even take a bath like usual. I must've made you so angry. Shaking, I open my eye to the darkness surrounding me. The clothes I've picked from your drawer two days ago still smell like you, but not like angry you. More like comforting and loving you. I cling to them and try to tell myself that you're not mad.

You're never mad.

But then I remember the fight with Makoto, the blood on your teeth and lips and the dried stains on your shirt and jeans. You're an Alpha and you can kill. You can hurt and injure and end somebody's life within a minute. You may be Haru, calm, stoic and unfazed by seemingly everything, but you're an Alpha after all. And you can fight - kill, even. For me, you'd do it. Because I'm an Omega and it's in your nature to get possessive over me.

I fall asleep to the sound of my own heart beating too loud in my chest.

\- - - - - -

The night is long, long enough for me to wake up a few times and instinctively reach out to my side, expecting you or at least Sosuke close by. But I'm alone. All alone in your house and you're just a staircase away. I could call for you. I could just call your name and you would probably come. But you're not even sleeping in your room, you've chosen to sleep downstairs instead. You don't want to be near me. My stomach feels hollow and weird and when a strange taste rises into my mouth, I quickly sit up. Blindly reaching for the handle of the closet door, I open it and step outside. Pale moonlight is filtering in through the window by the wall, illuminating the room slightly. Without letting my eyes adjust to the darkness, I rush over to the door, open it and bolt into the bathroom, throwing up the second I get there. My guts are heaving and it feels like acid burning on my tongue. 

_So much on the birth control pills,_ I think exhaustedly after slumping down against the wall behind me. _They won't work now._

For a while I just keep sitting there, eyes closed, hand on my stomach. If I really get pregnant... But then, I push the thought aside and brush my hair back to tie it into a ponytail before I get up and wash my face. Halfway back to the nest, I bite my lip and turn towards the stairs.

"Haru?", I whisper meekly and cling to the railing. "Hey, Haru..."

No answer. You're probably asleep. It's the middle of the night, after all. Slowly, I start walking down and slide the door to the living room open. You're curled up on a futon, blanket draped only over your lower half, one hand close to your face, the other resting by your side. Black hair spread out on the snow white pillow, lips parted slightly, lids fluttering a little as if you're dreaming. You're beautiful when you're asleep. I kneel down next to you, hands clenching to fists on my thighs.

"Haru", I mutter again, a little more urgent. "Haru, wake up, please..."

You don't react. You're breathing so calm and slow, like there's nothing in this world that can disturb you now. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand and lift the blanket a little to slip underneath it as well. Your body is so warm and comforting and my shoulders tremble when you finally, _finally_ wrap your arm around me - maybe not consciously, but you do it. And only when I bury my face against your chest, nudging your chin with my head, you start to shift a little.

"Rin...", I hear your voice mumble sleepily.

You're so tired, I can hear it in your voice, but you move your hand, drag the blanket over my shoulders as well and pull me closer, stroke my hair and hold me against your body. It feels so good to just be here with you. My eyes close and I doze off, drifting in and out of sleep for the rest of the night. There's nothing left from the annoying restlessness of my heat and I know it's over for this time when the exhaustion kicks in. It's always like this. Four or five days of hell and after that, it's just sleep and snarkiness for twenty-four hours. I already pity you for having to deal with my asshole-behaviour again.

"Sorry", I whisper into the silence. "Sorry for being like this. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to. I... I really like you. I didn't want to say those things. I don't hate you."

For a while, it's quiet. You don't seem to hear me at all and I just want to close my eyes and go to sleep, when your grip on me suddenly tightens a little.

"I know. Rest."

Your voice is almost demanding in a way, drilling into my head and chilling me down to the bone. But it feels right. You told me to rest, so I will. My eyes slide shut and I take a deep breath, your scent soaks through my every fiber and I _love_ it. To just be able to sleep next to you without having to worry about my heat and when I'll wake up the next time. It's the best possible feeling in this world, and it lasts until way into morning. The shoji door leading to the little veranda behind your house is opened to get rid of the summer heat, at least during the night, and as the sun starts rising, golden rays of light creep across the living room floor and over our bodies. I'm woken by the feeling of your hand gently stroking my side. When I shift slightly to look at you, blinking the sleepiness from my mind, you're already wide awake, watching me with an unreadable expression - as usual.

"Morning", I yawn and smile thinly before grabbing your wrist and pulling it away from me. "No. Don't touch me."

There's the irritation. You lean back a little and a light frown tugs at your lips.

"You're weird. First you kick me out of the nest, then you come to sleep with me and now you tell me not to touch you again. Can you just finally decide what you want?"

I shake my head and drag the blanket from you to wrap it around myself instead.

"No. I'm an Omega, I have to be like this."

If I hadn't known better, I'd say you are smiling when you turn to the side and sit up, one leg pulled to your chest, resting your arm on it while you look down at me.

"Whatever. I'm taking a bath."

But even as you say that, you stay on the futon with me, watching as I curl up into the blanket and close my eyes again, content that I'll be able to sleep in. Quite a few minutes pass and you still haven't gotten up. Eventually, I'm sick of your gaze searing into my skin and look up, scowling.

"Didn't you want to take a bath?", I ask with a low growl in my voice. "I believe the bathroom is upstairs."

"Noisy", you mutter again. "If you keep being rude, I'll kick you out. You're not in heat anymore, are you?"

I shake my head and toy with the edge of the blanket. Weird how going back to Samezuka has been pure hell two days ago and now I feel like I could leave right away if you really told me to.

"You want me to go?"

You get up with one single smooth movement and I can't help but stare. Why is it that you always do everything so beautifully? After stretching your arms - and giving me a good show of your abs in the process - you cross them in front of your chest and look down at me again.

"I don't want to. But I don't see why I should put up with you longer than absolutely necessary if you're in this kind of mood."

"So if I'm not up for sex twice every hour you don't want to put up with me?", I snarl back, get up as well and bare my fangs. "And you wonder why I yelled at you yesterday? Listen to yourself talking! I thought you wanted to be with me! I thought you actually liked me for who I am, not because I'm an Omega!"

My chest feels like it's going to explode when I hold my breath and close my eyes, trying to keep myself from hitting you. I can't start a fight now. Sharply exhaling, I turn to the side and grab my neatly folded clothes from the floor where you've put them.

"My mistake. Sorry. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. I'm going home. If you ever feel like using an Omega in heat and basically tell them to fuck off afterwards, don't count on me. I don't know what you learn about us in your high schools, but if it's that we don't care about who we sleep with, then I gotta disappoint you. We do care."

I've never gotten dressed this fast and after realizing that my bag with my wallet and everything in it is still at Samezuka, I grab yours from the dresser in the hallway, open it and take out enough money for a train ticket home, waving the bills at you.

"You owe me the ride. Bye."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ding dong guess who wrote 7,000 words for this story tonight and decided to reward herself with posting the next chapter a day early? ( ﾉ^ω^)ﾉﾟ
> 
> THANKS FOR READING, MINNA! (*^▽^*)


	6. Chapter 6

Sadly, your front door is a sliding door. Would've loved to slam it shut to make my point clear. While I bury both hands in the pockets of my shorts, I kick a pebbel down the stone stairs in front of me. Fucking idiot, that's what you are. I should've never believed any of your sweet words. Of course you'd say stuff like that. It's just a trick to get me to stay. You're an Alpha, after all, and you don't care about me. Maybe I'll follow Sosuke's advice and get myself a nice Beta. Just a normal guy who wants a husband and a family, who'll maybe even take me in if I'm pregnant, who'll maybe love me enough to let the kid have his name and the legal status of his own child. I'd probably have to give up my career, but at least I'd have a good life with a man who'll be happy when he's greeted with dinner and a kiss after a long day of work.

I don't realize I'm crying until I notice how the people at the station stare in my direction.

I don't want that. I don't want to stay home and be a good housewife or anything. I want to keep swimming, I want to compete in tournaments, I want to go to training camps across the world and see lots of interesting cities and places. I want to swim on world stage one day. I don't want to be a middle-class someone at twenty already, there's more than enough time for that after I've retired!

Taking the train by myself is probably dangerous, but who cares now. I'm not in heat anymore and even if one of you guys notices I'm an unguarded Omega, then what am I supposed to do? Resist? I'm too exhausted to do that. The mechanical voice announces that the train will arrive at the station and repeats that it's prohibited to cross the yellow line until the train has come to a complete halt. I blindly walk towards an opening door and step inside. The wagon's empty - it's Friday and it's noon after all, employees and students have long since arrived at school and work - and I choose an empty seat in the back. The ride isn't long, only four stations, but it still takes a good twenty minutes until my stop comes up. I almost don't notice that I have to get off when the train stops moving and barely manage to sprint past the already closing doors in time.

Breathlessly staring at the deserted station before me, I take a moment to calm down, then I start walking up the stairs to get to the street. Samezuka is just across from the railway station and when I try the handle to the iron gate, it's locked. It almost feels like the world is mocking me. I've hoped to return in silence without anybody noticing. Groaning, I ring the bell and the speakers above it crack slightly.

"Hello?"

"It's me, Matsuoka Rin", I mutter with lowered head. "Can you open the gate for me?"

The secretary sighs and I hear the buzzing sound that tells me the electronic lock has been deactivated for a few seconds.

"Of course dear. Your Alpha has to stay outside, though. A few of your classmates are in heat and it wouldn't be good if he went crazy here today."

Pushing the gate open, I close my eyes. She's right. _My_ Alpha would probably treat every Omega here like he's treated me.

"Don't worry, he's not with me."

The secretary clears her throat.

"Who is with you, then? Did Yamazaki-kun pick you up? Funny, I didn't see him file the request paper for an outside trip today..."

"I'm alone", I interrupt her. "I'm back from Haru's place and we had-"

_"Alone?",_ she screeches. "Get inside, immediately! I'll send someone down to meet you!"

And with that, the connection breaks off. I shake my head at her overreaction and step past the iron gate, closing it behind me. The second I turn around to walk down the path to the front entrance, I see one of my teachers hurrying towards me already.

"Matsuoka-kun!", he calls out worriedly. "Where's your Alpha? Why did you come back alone? Why did he let you leave his house without at least a friend to accompany you?"

I stop dead in my tracks. My Alpha. Sure, I'm the one who started saying that. Maybe it's been my fault, after all? Maybe I've just seen more in something that has been so much less? Maybe my expectations have been too high?

"Are you quite alright, Matsuoka-kun?"

The teacher gently places one hand on my shoulder and guides me towards the steps leading up to the foyer. The secretary is agitatedly talking on the phone with someone and when she sees me enter alongside the teacher, she urges the person on the other end of the line to _"hurry up"._ Just a moment later, Sosuke bolts around the corner and stares at me, frozen for a moment, before he steps towards me and wraps me up in his strong arms, muttering desperate apologies. He knows me better than I know myself, I realize. Why else would he understand me so well?

"I'm so sorry, Rin, I'm so sorry, this shouldn't have happened to you, I'm sorry..."

I slowly ease myself closer to his chest and shut my eyes, rest my head on his shoulder and grip his shirt lightly in response.

"He doesn't want me, Sosuke", I mutter into the fabric that smells so much like him. "He doesn't care about me, after all. He just said those things to make me stay during my heat. He said he was sick of putting up with me. He didn't even try to tell me to stay when I left. What am I doing wrong with that guy? Why does he keep luring me in just to kick me out again? He's been doing that shit every day of my life we've spent together."

Sosuke trembles helplessly.

"Don't listen to him, Rin. He's an idiotic asshole if he doesn't see what an amazing guy you are. He doesn't deserve you. Just wait, he's going to understand what kind of mistake he's made once he sees you on world stage, living the perfect life. You'll find someone better in no time, I promise. Someone who treats you like you deserve to be treated."

It's the kind of talk everyone gets from their friends when they've been hurt, those sappy things everybody loves to hear after a breakup, those things that don't help at all but everybody feels the need to say them.

"Hey, I have something that will maybe cheer you up a little", Sosuke suddenly mutters and gently strokes my hair. "You forgot your phone in our room and Sebastian called while you were gone. He said that you should call him back once you got the time. He'll be waiting."

I lift my head and look up at him, biting my lips. Sebastian called... He's my coach from Australia. Well, after he ended his year of internship as a coach, he went back to studying sports medicine and continued his pro-Omega campaign. Despite being an Alpha himself, he's an Omega rights activist en grande. He'll be very pleased to hear that I've presented as one too. Nobody in Australia knows yet except for Russell and Lori, and they've already offered their full support should I ever want to return to them.

"Alright", I mumble under my breath. "I'll call him once we're back in our dorm later."

Sosuke frowns a little and rubs his neck.

"Actually... we are serving detention, starting tonight. For breaking curfew and underaged drinking and stuff. Until next Friday, at least."

I groan and slowly run one hand over my face.

"Oh shit... I completely forgot that I'm still being punished. No helping it, hm? Then let's take the fall. The less we complain, the less trouble we'll get into. But I'm skipping training today, so tell the guys you're in charge."

Sosuke scowls.

"Why? You've missed training because of your heat alot lately, you want to skip today too? You'll fall behind at this rate!"

I shake his questions off and turn around to walk down the hallway to our dorm room.

"I'm not feeling up to it. Maybe I'll join you guys tomorrow. See ya later."

The truth is that I sure as hell won't let myself be seen with your bites and bruises all over me. I don't want anyone to think that we still belong together. I'll wait until the wounds have faded, even if it will take months. Instinctively, I reach up to touch my neck. Praise the Lord that I didn't let you mark me. To be tied to you by force would be unbearable.

I'd kill myself.

The thought is flashing in my head and its boldness makes me stall a little. I've been depressed for months in Australia, but I've never gone as far as to think about suicide. Would staying with you would really be that bad? To make me grab a rope and end it all? No, staying with you wouldn't. Staying with you as my boyfriend would be the most wonderful thing in this world. Staying with you as my Alpha would be torture.

I've always liked you in a strange way. We've never been friends, we've never been enemies. We've always been something in between, you pushing me forward and me dragging you along, but we've never really been on the same wavelenght. Sosuke and Makoto - sure. They can read us both like open books. They can tell what we're thinking if they just glance at us from the side. I can't count how many times Sosuke has told me not to cry before I've even known I was going to. I can't count how many times I've heard Makoto tell you not to strip and run off before you've even laid eyes upon the water.

That's being on the same wavelenght.

But you and me... we seem to live past eachother. Our hands always reach out, but they never touch. We offer help and leave pain. We're always next to eachother, but we're never together. We always know the other is going to fall, but we never do anything to catch him. We're both talking and we're both hearing but neither of us is listening.

I hate it.

Hate you, hate me, hate the world that forces you to be an Alpha and that forces me to be an Omega.

The room is dark, cool and empty. I stare at my bed and turn around that exact same moment to open the door behind the closet to get to my nest. I don't want to sleep out here. The clothes I've worn - the ones still smelling like you - I throw out and grab a fresh pair of shorts. Nothing is supposed to remind me of you anymore. My phone is resting on the small shelf above the nest and while I carefully rearrange everything around me, I grab it from there. Sebastian hasn't called for weeks. Either he's got good news to share or bad news to share. I'd prefer the former today.

"Rin!", his cheerful voice booms through the speaker and I have to hold it away from my ear so I won't go deaf. "You'll never believe what happened!"

Okay, seems like I'm lucky for once. Smiling a little uneasily, I settle down and hug one of the pillows to my chest.

"Hi. What's up, Sebby?"

Immediately, his good mood evaporates and he sounds concerned.

"I should be asking you that! Why so downcast, golden boy? You sound like you've just spent five days at the morgue!"

I sigh and curl up some more, wondering if I should tell him. He is one of my closest friends, after all.

"It's... it's nothing important", I finally mumble. "Just... the guy I thought I was supposed to be with turned out to be a complete asshole."

For a moment, there's silence.

"Oh Rin, I'm so sorry. That sounds like some real bad heartbreak right there", Sebastian then answers in a much softer tone. "Now I feel bad for calling you up so cheerily. Wanna talk? Or want me to leave you alone?"

I don't even know what I want anymore. Probably just going to bury myself beneath a few layers of blankets and sleep there until all my problems have been magically solved.

"I want to forget about those stupid second genders and heat and pregnancy and just go back to Haru and apologize for running off and make him apologize for what he's said too and maybe get dinner with him tonight and start all over to make this a real thing, but this fucked up world doesn't even allow me to walk outside the school without filing a request first and then waiting for a teacher to accompany me", I mutter into the phone and Sebastian inhales sharply.

"Rin... are you an Omega?"

I don't respond, but he's not really asking, anyway. He knows I am. Has probably known it since I've presented. He's an Alpha and he can hear it in my voice, it's impossible that he hasn't realized during all of our phone calls. He just asks because it's polite.

"You know that I'd usually be happy about that, but I'm not so sure what to say now", Sebastian says and I hear him shift awkwardly. "I still can't believe they're separating Alphas and Omegas like that in Japan. It's not healthy. You guys should be able to meet and talk and stop this society from making you believe the other gender is bad for you."

I nod, not really remembering that we're on voicecall and he can't actually see me. We both stay quiet for another few moments, then Sebastian sighs and I lift my head a little.

"Rin. Come back to Australia. Come back to me. I'll take you in, like Liv and Wendy. No marks and no bond, just a bunch of friends sharing a house. If you want... I'll give you my name, too. You'd be safe from everyone else and you can do whatever you want. I'll make sure to talk to a few universities, get you a sport scholarship and all that. Believe me, you'd get one right away. You could swim here again. Eric and Danny miss you so badly, and so do Liv and Wendy. And I... I miss you too. We're all just waiting for you to come back home."

His voice dies out a little and I close my eyes, squeeze them shut as tight as possible. Back to Australia. Back to Sebastian. Another Alpha. But one I could at least rely on to not use me and throw me out. Liv and Wendy... they're Omegas too, abandoned by their Alphas for some reason, and Sebastian has taken them in without a second thought. Has signed up as their legal mate and has offered them a place to stay and his name, saving them the humiliation from society and their families. A rejected Omega usually never gets a second chance. Nobody wants an Omega anymore once they've been mated. But Sebastian hasn't cared. He's told them that he won't mark them, that they're free to go and live somewhere else, that they can work and study if they want to. That he won't touch them during their heats. He's even designed a special sound and scent proof room in his basement where they can stay. It doesn't affect him at all when they're in there.

Liv is now the boss of her own Omega agency that helps single Omegas find jobs, escape abusive relationships, offers financial support, advice for pregnancies and even couple counseling. And she loves her job. She's taken care of me quite a few times when Russell and Lori haven't had the time and I've spent hours at her office where she's helped me with my homework. She has even learned Japanese for me, since it's been the only language I've known back then. Wendy has gone back to studying accounting at the Sydney university and is working part time at Liv's too, managing the money from donors and fundraising.

They're both successful Omegas now and I know that they love Sebastian from the bottom of their heart for what he's done for them. I could just agree now and join them in Australia to pursue my swimming career. Sebastian is a safe haven. I could show up in the middle of the night and ask for a place to stay and he'd gladly invite me in. He'd do literally anything for me. He's always been the one to tell me I have the potential to make it to the top. If it hadn't been for him, I would've given up swimming a long time ago.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I open my eyes to the darkness surrounding me.

\- - - - - -

Detention is boring. I've finished all my assignments for class already and there's really nothing else to do. Sosuke is the same, just doodling stupid stuff into his notebook, but I see that his gaze is lowered too far. He's got his phone out beneath the desk and is texting someone with the hint of a smile on his lips. I scoff from across the classroom. Of course they wouldn't at least let us sit next to eachother. We would be able to actually have fun together.

Fiddling a little with my pen, I think about my plans for tomorrow. I need to pack and visit my Mom. I need to talk to Gou, call Russell and Lori and ask if I can crash at their place. I need to text Danny and Eric to see if they're up to meet me somewhere. I have to cancel my application for the Japanese university and I have to get some cash changed to dollars...

"Matsuoka-kun, don't doze off. If you managed to stay up a whole night to party, you can stay up two hours to serve detention for it", the teacher's ice cold voice cuts through the fog that has started to surround me.

Right, right, detention. I jerk back awake and stare down at my pen. Sosuke is still chatting with a guy he's met at the party, who he claims is _"world class"_ and _"definitely the one"._ Not like he's said that a hundred times before already. Sighing, I rest my head in my palm and my gaze wanders towards the windows. It's already dark outside... The two hours of detention are ticking by slower than ever and it feels like somebody has meddled with the clock above the door. Has the handle always taken so long to round the dial? I'm not sure anymore. Finally, the teacher looks up from the tests he'd been grading and nods.

"Alright. Looks like you two have had your punishment for tonight. Dismissed."

He waves his hand at us and we hastily gather our belongings, stuff them into our bags and rush outside.

"Man, that was hell!", Sosuke groans as we're walking down the hallway to our room. "I swear, if it hadn't been for Makoto, I would've died from boredom."

I nod absent-mindedly at his rant when my brain suddenly snaps its fingers at me, as if to get my attention.

Makoto?

"Makoto?", I repeat slowly and stop in the middle of the corridor. "Did you just say you were texting Makoto?"

Sosuke turns around to look at me with a questioning expression plastered across his face.

"Umm... yeah? Why? Something wrong with his name? Am I pronouncing it wrong? He told me-"

"Tall guy, brown hair, green eyes?", I interrupt him with a suspicious look.

My best friend nods and a wide grin spreads across his lips along with a light pink suddenly dusting his cheeks. Yep, he's got a crush on Makoto. A huge crush.

"Oh, believe me - the most beautiful green eyes. And his smile, Rin, his goddamn smile! Do you believe in angels? Because I feel like I'm dating one."

I click my tongue at him and start walking again, throat burning from the sudden rush of anger when I think of you. You were some kind of angel to me, too. Emphasize the _were._

"You're dating my childhood buddy, idiot. And guess what? He's an Alpha. Just very good at hiding it, I imagine. But if you want to know - and I don't think you do - someone had to safe me from him at the party. Because he sniffed me out when I went into heat."

Sosuke is thunderstruck. At least for a moment, then he comes dashing after me.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second!", he gasps. "You're... you're telling me he's an Alpha? But he's so calm and sweet! There's no way, Rin! You're lying!"

I grit my teeth and when I can't take it anymore, I grab his throat and slam him against the wall, growling darkly.

"I am not the one who's lying!", I scream into his face. "It's not me! _They_ are the ones lying to us! The teachers and coaches! The Alphas here aren't animals that attack us at sight! They are monsters, far worse than everything we've ever imagined! They lure you in with the sweetest promises and once you trust them, they drop you and you're left alone, feeling like it's all been your fault!"

Sosuke stares down at me with wide eyes until I slowly ease my grip and step back to let him breathe. My chest is heaving, my eyes sting and ache.

"Don't fall for him", I finally manage to say before turning around. "And if you do, don't come running to me when he does the same to you what Haru did to me. Because I told you."

With that, I open the door to our room, disappear into my nest and double-check the lock to make sure nobody can enter. In the warm comfort of blankets and pillows, I close my eyes and sob shakily. God, why is life so exhausting since I've met you again at that party? Instinctively, I curl up and squeeze my eyes shut, but I don't sleep at all that night. The bell that calls us for breakfast has long since been set off, but I can't bring myself to get up. Sosuke knocks against the door to my private room a while later to ask if I'll come to class, but I don't answer and he leaves. I'm just trying to blend the world out - when my phone rings. Sebastian, probably. To tell me when exactly I'll have to be at the airport tomorrow. But when I grab it from the shelf, it displays an unknown number. Who cares, might as well answer it. I pick up and lift the phone to my ear.

"Yeah?"

The person on the other end of the line stays quiet for a second, then their voice makes me flinch as if I've just burned myself.

"It's me. Don't hang up."

My finger is already hovering over the red button that will end the call and wipe you from my life again, but something in the way you speak keeps me from doing it. It's this kind of cold sensation again that tells me to do as you say. Is it some kind of Alpha-thing? Making me submit with your voice alone? Is it possible to have so much power over a person?

"I hate talking to you like this", you say quietly, and your tone is different from just seconds ago. "But don't hang up on me now."

It's not a demand anymore, it's a simple request, but I still can't bring myself to put the phone down. I just sit there, shaking at the mere sound of your voice.

"What do you want?", I choke out helplessly. "Did you call to tell me to come back? I'm not falling for it again, you lying bastard! And where did you even get my number from?"

"The secretary", you mutter. "And I'm not asking you to come back. I know you don't want to. I know I said something hurtful to you and I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry."

It's rare to hear you sound so meek. Usually, you're confident in everything you say or do. It's been that way since grade school. You only do and say things that you know you won't regret, so why would that change now?

"Apology acknowledged", I snarl. "Will you just let me hang up now? I don't have time."

There's a slight change in your attitude, and suddenly, you seem stressed.

"No, listen. There's something I want you to know. I didn't mean to upset you. I never meant to say something offensive. I don't know what happened to me... but whenever I'm around you... it's just... you've just... changed so much, you're so mature and beautiful now. And it’s like, there’s something to you now... that just makes me want you more." You sigh softly and I almost feel your breath on my skin. "Sorry. That was probably not what you wanted to hear. You have become so grown-up while I feel like I haven't changed a single bit since we've last met, do you understand? Please, Rin. How can I make it up to you? Is there anything I can do to make you come back?”

My hand is sweaty when I adjust my grip on the phone and hold it closer to my ear.

"It's kind of too late for you to ask that now. I'm going back to Australia tomorrow night."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read this I'll kindly ask you to remove yourself as co-author, I'll give credit to you and all but I don't really like the thought of you being able to edit my work as you please.
> 
> To everyone else: love and hugs for reading, you guys are great in keeping my motivation boosted! (*≧▽≦)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MINOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

The line is dead after a moment of silence. I finally drop the phone and just curl up into my nest. Whatever. I don't care anymore. Be upset and angry at me all you want, I won't be around to feel the consequences anymore. You can't hurt me if I'm in Australia. I'll be too far away for you to get to me. After dozing off for a while, I first hear the crashing from outside, as if someone has stumbled and fallen. A person screams. I pay it no mind. We often have fights here at Samezuka.

It only takes a few minutes until the noises coming from the hallway get too loud to be ignored any longer. There's a fight going on and it's starting to annoy me. I want to sleep, goddamnit... But suddenly, the door to our room is slammed open and through the yells of various people, one of them definitely being our headmaster, I hear a voice calling my name.

Your voice.

"Rin! Rin, where are you?"

I back away into the corner of my nest and growl instinctively. You are the person I want to see the least right now.

"Nanase-kun, stop! You can't be in here, come to your senses!"

There must be at least five people with you out there, but you seem to fight like an animal to hold your ground in front of the door that leads to my room and after listening to what's going on for two minutes, I've had just about enough from the scene you're causing. With a quick movement, I turn the lock, bolt outside and slam into your side, tackling you to the ground. The second I'm close enough, your arms wrap around me and we roll over until I'm on top of you, pressing you down onto the floor with all my weight.

"Stop!", I bellow angrily. "Whatever you think you're doing, stop it right now, idiot!"

But I wouldn't have had to yell. As soon as our gazes have met, you've calmed down to an acceptable level, even though your eyes are still narrow and dark.

"Rin!"

You catch me off guard and pull me down against you even tighter, hooking one leg over mine to keep me there and for fucks sake, I hate you so much for making me feel so good with such a simple movement - I even forget that at least half of my teachers and the headmaster is watching.

"What are you doing here?", I pant while carefully leaning up a little so I can glare down at you.

And only then, I notice the glistening lines on your cheeks. My whole body jolts a little and my lips part. I'm speechless. Hesitantly, like in slowmotion, I lift one hand to gently brush it over your face.

"Haru... why are you crying? Why are you-"

I choke on my own words. I've never seen you cry before. And I certainly haven't been expecting to see you do it tonight. But before I can think deeper into it, your hand claws my wrist and you sit up a little, forcing me back on my knees as well.

"I told you not to leave me again!", you suddenly yell. "I told you that I didn't know what to do if you left me! What am I supposed to do without you? Don't just come back into my life and leave again!"

You look like back then, on that damn day in winter, eyes wide like the ones of the little boy you've been back then while I've jerked my arm out of your grip to run off, to leave you behind. My mouth feels to dry to speak, but for what I want to tell you, I don't need to talk anyway. Our lips lock and I curl my hands into your hair as hard as I somehow can to keep you in place while you grasp my hips and lean up further into the kiss.

"Idiot, don't cry", I whisper against your skin once we part, out of breath, trembling and sweating. "I never wanted you to cry because of me."

My face is tucked into your neck while you still cling to me.

"Then don't leave", you repeat quietly. "Don't go. Stay here with me. Cancel your flight. Stay with me. Don't leave me."

I bite my lips, desperate to find an answer. Sebastian, Wendy, Liv, Lori, Russell, Danny and Eric are all waiting for me in Australia. The country that raised me is just a trip to the airport away. I want to go back. I want to see everyone again. I want to go out in the evening without having to sign up three days prior. I want to hang out with my friends, whether they're Alphas or Omegas. I want to go skating with Eric and Danny and I want to help out at Liv's office. I want to work part time again. I want to live a life that doesn't lock me up.

"I can't stay with you. Not here in Japan, at least. But... but if you really want to be with me so badly, then come along. Come to Australia with me."

For a moment, you just stare up at me, jaw moving slightly as if you're lost in thought.

"Come with you... to Australia? But why won't you stay here with me?", you finally respond a little unwillingly. "Japan is our home. We have our friends here, our family, our schools."

I scoff and cross both arms in front of my chest.

"Our home that won't allow me to keep swimming for much longer, our friends who have learned that an Alpha and an Omega our age shouldn't even be together in the first place, our families that will probably disown us when they find out what's going on between us, our schools that we'll have to attend seperately because they won't allow us to stay together. Is that how you want to live your life with me? Is that what you want, Nanase?"

"No, Matsuoka", you snarl back. "That's not what I want. But I don't want to go to a foreign country either."

Slowly, I get up from the floor. My teachers are watching, listening, with slack jaws and disbelief in their eyes. That an Omega and an Alpha talk like this to one another must be completely new to them.

"Well, I'm going to that foreign country and you either come with me or stay here."

With that, I turn my head to the side, almost expecting you to get mad again or walk out on me, but to my surprise, you just grab my already packed duffle bag from where it's sitting on the chair of my desk and throw it at me. I barely manage to catch it in time and when I do, I stare at you suspiciously.

"What-"

"Come back with me. We need to talk."

You're not using your Alpha voice on me this time, I notice, a little surprised. You're actually letting me choose whether I want to come along or not. After throwing the faculty members still gathered in the room a hesitant glare, I nod slowly and sling the belt of the bag over my shoulder.

"... fine. Just let me get ready. Be with you in a second."

It doesn't take long to slide my sneakers on and grab my team jacket from the bottom bunk. Sosuke must be still out, maybe on the phone with Makoto. I really have to talk to you about the fact that our two best friends are obviously falling in love. Well, at least Sosuke is. And as much as I like Makoto, if he hurts Sosuke, I'm going to make him pay. Slowly and painfully. Nobody fucks with my best friend.

Not even the headmaster dares to stop me when I walk past him and the teachers, hand on the edge of my bag, head held high. As much as I hate it - I know it's because of you. I have my Alpha with me. They know better than to touch me now or keep me back. And somehow, it feels good. To know that whatever happens, you'll fight for me, you'll defend me. Nobody will hurt me as long as I'm close to you. With a smug grin, I saunter past my teachers and coaches, closely followed by you. They step back a little when they see your narrowed eyes along slightly bared fangs, and let us leave without a single word of protest.

"About Makoto...", I start casually as soon as we're out of earshot, but you interrupt me before I can get any further.

"I'm sorry about him. He's usually not like this. But your scent must've been familiar to him. It's... way harder to resist when you know the scent already and it starts to get so sweet."

Your voice gets quieter as you talk, until it's barely a whisper. I frown a little and glance over at you as we're walking towards the exit. Does that mean my scent has been affecting you even more than it has Makoto?

"That's not what I meant. He and Sosuke, my best friend, remember? They're chatting. Met at the party. And I can't help but think Sosuke is starting to get a crush on Makoto. I just wanted to say that you better keep him in check, because if he goes and does something to Sosuke, I'm going to lose my shit."

You breathe a little lighter and close your eyes for a moment.

"You two are weird. I thought Alphas were supposed to threaten everyone who dared to hurt one of their friends."

That's all you say before pulling the keys from your pocket and unlocking your car that's parked on the sidewalk in front of the academy this time. You must've broken every speedlimit on your way here if you managed to make it all the way from your house in less than fifteen minutes. Sighing, I open the passenger seat door, throw my bag into the car and follow suit.

"When did you even get your license?", I ask while fastening the seatbelt. "I know Alphas can get them early, but you're only seventeen, right?"

Shrugging, you join me in the car and turn the key.

"They allow you to get it once you've turned sixteen."

That's the last exchange of words for quite a long time while I stare out of the window and you focus on the street before us. Light rain has set in and now and then, you switch on the windshield wipers for a moment to clear the glass. I desperately try to find the words I'm looking for, but whenever I seem to have gotten ahold of them, they slip from me like melting ice. What am I supposed to say? I'm not sorry for running off - you've deserved that. I've wanted you to realize that I'm not a given. If you really want me like you claim you do, you'll have to prove it.

"I don't speak English very well, you know", you suddenly mutter quietly, almost too quiet for me to hear. "My grades are bad."

Perking up, I turn to look at you from the side.

"What?"

"English. I don't speak it."

I can't suppress the laughter bubbling from my chest at that. Haruka Nanase talking English. That's something I can't imagine, not for all the money in this world. You'd probably have the heaviest Japanese accent, and your stoic face would never fit in with the cheerful Australian slang.

"Yeah, I believe you", I giggle, trying to catch my breath. "You're not really the type to talk English, are you now?"

Sulking a little, you just grip the steering wheel a bit tighter, but you don't talk back to me.

"I'm sure I could teach you, though", I continue after a while. "It's not like you're stupid or anything, you just have no opportunities to practice. If you want to, we can start talking English at home so you can improve your vocabulary and grammar. At least the basics so you'll find your way around Australia without me being around constantly."

It surprises me how easy the words _"at home"_ leave my lips. Home - what is home to me? Samezuka? The house of my Mom? Sydney? Not really. Of course, I always look forward to visiting Mom during the holidays and I'm excited to return to Sydney now, but those aren't places I'd really get homesick for. Maybe all those cheesy, girly laptop wallpapers are right. You're growing up when home isn't a place anymore but rather a person. Hesitantly glancing over at you one more time, I study your face from the side.

I've always been at loss during the time we haven't been together. Those years in Australia and at Samezuka have always felt kind of meaningless, like I'm working towards something that I don't even know exists anymore. But now you're here with me and you've come all the way to my dorm just to tell me not to leave you again.

"You're talking like it's already settled that I'll come with you", you suddenly mutter under your breath and I grin mockingly.

"Well, it _is_ settled, after all, isn't it? You won't stay behind if I go to Australia, will you?"

You heave a deep sigh and pull up to the stone stairs that lead through the neighbourhood of your house. It gets very quiet without the running engine and I feel my shoulders slump down a little when we get out and you stare up at the cloudy grey sky for a moment while we're walking up the stairs, past the torii gates.

"I'm not leaving your side. If you go, I'll go with you. I don't want to be left alone again."

You speak slow and cautiously, like every word has been mulled over thoroughly before being allowed to be voiced. My cheeks heat up and I feel a rush of adrenaline flooding my veins.

"You're...", I choke out, but my tongue feels like it's tied into a knot and I have to start over once more. "You're really coming with me? To Australia? You're coming to live with me in Australia?"

Your face is unreadable like always, but your eyes give away the hint of a softer expression when you look back at me.

"I'll go with you. I don't care where we're headed to as long as I can be by your side."

With that said, you continue up the stairs while I stop dead in my tracks and only when you notice I'm not following you anymore, you turn around with a light frown to see why I'm still standing there. But I can't bring myself to take a single other step forward. My legs are shaking and so is the rest of my body. I've been teasing when I've said that it's settled already, teasing like I always am. I haven't expected you to say something like this.

"Rin?"

You walk back down to me and your hand gently, almost carefully, brushes a few strands of my hair out of the way before you lift my chin slightly so I'm forced to look at you.

"Don't tell me you're going into heat again. We can't have that happen everytime I say something to you."

I wipe my face with the sleeve of my jacket and turn away so I don't have to face you anymore.

"S-Shut... shut up, idiot, I'm not going into heat!"

My voice is muffled by the soft, black fabric that slowly dampens from the tears welling up in my eyes. God, why is the first reaction of my body to something remotely upsetting always either yell or cry or both at once?

"Good. You need to rest", you mutter and take my wrist. "Now come on. You can cry all you want while we eat lunch and talk."

I try to swallow the tears and nod shakily before following you up the last two flight of stairs and into the house. You disappear into the kitchen as soon as we're inside and motion me to sit down while you get out your apron and open the fridge, but I don't feel like parting from you for even a second now. Instead, I wrap both arms around your waist from behind and rest my forehead against your shoulderblade.

"Rin. I can't cook if you keep clinging to me like this", you say softly, but you make no real move to escape my embrace either.

For a while, I don't even respond. Your scent that has been so repulsive a few hours before is now the most comforting and I can't get enough of it. It settles my previous anger at you, the cold despair about the fact that you obviously don't feel the same about me as I do about you, that you hate me and that I'll be alone again.

"I'm so happy that you're coming with me", I whisper into your silky black hair before I lean down slightly to kiss your exposed neck. "You'll like it in Australia, I promise."

You sigh softly and I see your gaze wandering over to the small shrine of your grandmother. It must be hard for you to leave everything behind that's home for you. You've never lived somewhere else than in this house, this neighbourhood, this town. I bet you'll miss Iwatobi. If I weren't so scared you'd take the offer, I would propose for us to stay here - just as some sign of consideration. But I want to go to Sydney. I want a life of my own. I want to be Rin Matsuoka, not Haruka Nanase's Omega. But if you're really going to come along for my sake, then I'll make sure that you enjoy every second of our new life together. Even in a foreign country.

"I'll have to call Sebastian", I suddenly remember. "We need two tickets for the flight. And an appartment for two. And we both need to sign up for a scholarship."

Finally unwrapping my arms from you, I grab my phone from my pocket and dial Sebastian's number. He doesn't pick up, the phone keeps ringing. I curse, try it again, but this time, it's you who slaps me across the back of the head, grabs the phone from my hand and hangs up.

"Stop it. You're rushing things again, Matsuoka. Let's have lunch first."

Your scolding hits me hard, but I know that you're right. I tend to get impatient with everything and everyone.

"But what if there are no more tickets for the flight?", I argue back, still not ready to give in this easily. "Then we-"

"Then you go first and I take care of everything here in Japan and join you as soon as possible", you cut me short and carry two plates over to the chabudai. "And now sit down and eat before it gets cold."

I follow you with a scowl and slump down on my side, place my crossed arms on the tabletop and rest my chin of them, eyes glued to you as you make one last trip to the kitchen to get us something to drink. I still continue to stare at you, even as you've started eating already. After a few moments, you put your chopsticks down with a quiet exhale.

"Why are you sulking now?"

I just bare my fangs for a split second. Your eyes start to bore into my flesh more intensely, until I'm writhing in my seat.

"And what if you don't come?", I spit out bitterly. "What if you're just trying to get rid of me? What if you're lying again?"

You look down at your food, obviously pondering my words. Then, you slowly get up, round the table and kneel down right next to me and I lean back, suspicious. But with a swift movement, you've grabbed my collar, just lightly, though. I could pull away anytime.

"I've never been lying in the first place. Didn't I tell you already that I'm sorry for what I've said yesterday? I was just tired and frustrated because you don't feel what I'm feeling. You told me not to touch you as if you were disgusted by me. And you were quite rude about it. I don't like it when you yell at me."

I slowly dare to relax a little. So that's the true reason you got so mad? Damn, I really need to work on my conclusion-jumps. Now I feel like shit for being such an ass to you. Looks like I'm not the only insecure one.

"Stupid. I wasn't disgusted by you or anything. Just... the day before and after my heat, I'm always kind of moody. The doctors say all Omegas are, because our hormones change during those times. That's probably why I overreacted so much when you said you didn't want to put up with me. I could never be disgusted by you. And I'm pretty sure I feel the same for you that you feel for me. I just... can't put it into words yet. I'm sorry for yelling at you. Sorry for insulting you. I know you didn't deserve it. I'm sorry, Haru."

This time, you smile. It's a genuine, soft, beautiful smile, one I think I've never seen on you before and it leaves me breathless.

"Apology acknowledged", you mutter my own words back at me and lean in closer until our lips are almost touching. "Can I touch you now?"

I suck a sharp breath into my lungs and nod almost deliriously. And then we're kissing. Lunch long forgotten, we end up on the floor, lips locked and fingers tangled in the other's hair until we're both gasping slightly when you lean up to let me breathe.

"Are we going to desecrate the dining room and possibly ruin the tatami mats or do you have enough self-restraint to take me to the bedroom first?", I ask with a laugh when your hand slips under my shirt.

To be honest, I'm just tired from all the confusing shit going on, but I won't refuse the pleasure if you offer it like this.

"Neither", you mutter once you're done sucking another bruise into my skin. "I can feel you're too exhausted. We'll eat and maybe talk a litte, but then we're going to sleep. You have a long flight in the evening."

The way you say it leaves no space to argue, but the soft whine still escapes my throat when your hand toys with the waistband of my pants.

"That's not fair, getting me all riled up and stopping there!"

You lean up with an amused little sound and look at my flushed face, but I don't even bother to get embarrassed anymore. Yes, you manage to get me horny with a few kisses and some simple touches, but whatever. I've just been in triggered heat, triggered by _you,_ if I may add, and my body is still sensitive to your presence. I can't really help it.

"Just get up and eat."

You leave one last, quick kiss on my lips and sit back down on your side of the table. I sigh but obey. Only now I notice that you've actually gone through the trouble of going shopping for meat. Why else would I be having steak? You notice my suprised but pleased hum.

"I thought it would be suitable for an apology meal."

I just shake my head with a sigh and start eating. Your cooking is delicious, as always, and you know that. If you weren't into swimming this much, I'd love to see you become a chef. A own restaurant sounds like something great. But I bet you would only serve mackerel dishes. Maybe if I'd become your manager... What the hell am I even thinking? Our current goal is world class. Olympia. Gold medals. When we're thirty and have retired from the swimming scene, then I can entertain thoughts like this. Right now, it's senseless anyway.

"Where would we be living?", you suddenly ask, not looking up once.

I jolt a little.

"Well... Honestly, it depends. If we get an university in Sydney that will give us a scholarship, then we'll probably stay there. But Sebastian said he's found an elite university in Victoria that's got a great swim team. We'd be an eight-hour drive away from my homestay parents, but at least we would be living close to the sea, just like here."

Of course you perk up at that, but it's been one of my conditions too - I want an apartment with view of the sea. I've lived in the middle of Sydney and in Samezuka for long enough, I don't need that locked-up feeling again. I want to go for morning or evening runs by a beach where I can see the horizon, I want to sit on a balcony without houses or walls blocking my view on the world.

I just want to be free.

And suddenly, I understand why you've always preferred to swim free. Maybe you've felt just as locked up as I've done since I have presented as an Omega. But in contrast to me, you've been free all your life while I've been shackle down by society. I don't wish that fate upon anyone. If you were in my place - if you were the Omega and I the Alpha - I probably wouldn't be able to stand to look at you. You're not supposed to be chained up. You're most beautiful when you're free.

"You're thinking weird stuff again", you point out between two bites of mackerel.

I flinch and furrow my brows, trying to remember if I've accidentally been thinking out loud, but it doesn't feel like it.

"I can see it on your expression, you know."

Ah, that makes sense. Or it would make sense if I were Makoto. I know you and him have that mind-reading game going on, but it seems to work on me too. Just not vice versa and that creeps me out.

"Stop messing with me, freak", I mutter and go back to my steak. "Will you even be able to survive in Australia? I mean, it's winter there now but the temperatures never or rarely drop far enough to be considered cold. And the summers there are agony. At least during the first year until you get used to it."

You shrug a little and grab your bottle of water from across the table.

"It can't be hotter than you are."

So nonchalantly that I even feel weird for almost choking on my food. It's like you've just said something about the nice weather. Which isn't all too nice, considered the sound of rain pattering against the windows of the dining room still continues.

"Don't... don't say stuff like that with a straight face!", I gasp after I'm sure that I won't actually die from asphyxiation. "It's weird!"

When you give me that maybe-annoyed-maybe-just-normal-Haru look that always leaves me guessing if I've pissed you off or not, I suddenly notice the playful glint in your eyes. I carefully put my fork down, rest both elbows on the tabletop and stare over at you with a predatory grin.

"Alright, I get it. You either take me upstairs, right now, right this instant, or I'll make you."

For a moment, it seems like you want to oppose me, but then your lips twitch, expose your fangs for a moment and I feel my pulse skyrocketing.

"Don't regret saying that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe, it feels like all I'm doing is writing, but this story has me so _hooked,_ I'm currently unleashing all my passion into this~ (ಥ﹏ಥ)
> 
> Lots of love and hugs and thanks for reading, minna~! (◕‿◕✿)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!
> 
> _**WARNING!**_  
LIGHT CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR IN THIS CHAPTER!

I end up not regretting my words at all, you make pretty damn well sure of that. Completely spent and exhausted, we're curled up in the sheets of your previously clean bed. Sleeping in the nest is fine, but for sex, the bed is definitely the better choice.

"That... was amazing", I pant with closed eyes, half asleep on your chest. "God, let's just never stop doing this."

Your hand is lazily toying with my hair, twisting two strands to a small braid while your other is stroking my bare shoulder.

"I don't plan to. You're pretty."

I laugh breathlessly and prop myself up onto my elbows.

"Thanks for the compliment. Right back at you, though. You've gotten so beautiful since the last time we've met."

My voice darkens a little when I kiss your chest, following the invisibly drawn line down to your navel and toned abdomen. I want to relish every second I'm able to touch you like this. Your soft moans and sighs are all the encouragement I need to move down further, re-drawing your sharp V-line with my tongue.

"If you keep doing this, I'm not letting you leave", you suddenly mutter and grasp my hair a little firmer to give me a hint where you'd like my mouth better.

I smirk up at you but just give a short, teasing lick to your hardening cock.

"Okay. Rule number one: I'm an Omega, but I'm not an obedient housewife or anything. I won't jump at your every beck and call, I won't follow your demands. And I don't want you using that damn Alpha voice on me unless you deem it absolutely necessary. I want to go out and work and meet my friends and visit my family without having to get your approval first. Understood?"

You don't answer, but your hips buck up against me a little impatiently. I laugh hoarsely and push them down onto the mattress before dragging my tongue over your dick again. I've never done this before, but your reaction to my teasing is just glorious.

_"Understood,_ Nanase?"

I emphasize the question again by drawing tiny patterns onto the sensitive skin of your abdomen.

"Understood", you finally agree and I hum contently before stroking you a few times as a reward.

"Good boy. Rule number two: When I tell you I'm not in the mood, there's no changing that. You're spoiled enough by being allowed to spend my heats with me. If you ever, _ever_ dare to force me to do something when I don't want to, I'll kill you. Understood?"

This time, your breath hitches and you nod with your eyes squeezed shut.

"I would... never force myself... myself on you!", you argue, completely out of breath "Stop thinking whatever... whatever you're thinking!"

I sigh and retreat my hand, only to watch you whine softly and try to pull me closer again.

"I asked a question, Nanase."

For a moment, you don't even seem to remember that, but then your eyes open slightly and you stare down at me, obviously dazed.

"U-Understood."

This time, I have to swallow around the lump in my throat, but then I take a deep breath, slightly brush my hair out of the way and lower my head to wrap my lips around your cock. I'm scared I'll fuck up with my teeth and carefully keep them off you, experimentally rolling my tongue against your skin. You hiss and I quickly pull back, but your hands fist my hair as soon as I do.

"N-No, keep doing that, keep- fuck, Rin, I need to be inside you, right now!"

Panting, I watch as you bite your lips and throw your head back. Your hair is sweaty and tousled, your cheeks are flushed bright red and you've never looked hotter. Is this how I look when I'm in heat? No wonder you've gone crazy over me, then...

"Alright, alright, give me a moment", I groan and reach my hand back, even though my last rest of common sense is shockedly facepalming in the distance when I carefully lign you up with my entrance and sink down onto your cock, trembling.

Your back arches, your eyes open and you look up at me with an expression that's something between pure animalistic hunger and the deepest adoration I've ever seen you show.

"Rule number three", you suddenly gasp, grab my wrist and pull me down for a passionate kiss until saliva is dripping from my lips and I moan helplessly because the combination of your tongue teasing me so offensively while you rock your hips up against mine as slow and gentle as possible is just too much to take at once. "Never leave me. Understood?"

You're pushing all my good spots, the pleasure is too overwhelming, I can't breathe, I can't breathe, and the climax that washes over me all of a sudden is draining even the last bit of air from my lungs.

"Under... understood!", I moan, desperately clinging to you while you work me through my orgasm, drag it out until it's like I've never felt any different than right now, so engulfed in pleasure that my own body threatens to collapse.

You growl lightly and thrust into me a few more times before filling me up completely and I lick my lips in satisfaction at the still a little foreign but welcome sensation. Damn. It's happened too fast again. I know I should tell you that we need to use a condom next time, but... I don't know if I even want to have sex if that release at the end isn't there. The knowledge that you could've made me pregnant, that we could be getting a child and have a family together.

Fucking Omega instincts.

I can't have kids yet. _Later, maybe,_ I promise to the part of me that's flinching at that thought. _You have the perfect Alpha,_ it argues back violently. _His children will be beautiful, strong._

"Rin... did you get on birth control?", you ask sleepily, as if you've read my mind again. "Sorry for coming inside you."

I shake my head and slowly run my hand down your chest, avoiding the question.

"Doesn't matter. It feels good."

You mutter something and carefully help me to settle down next to you. Even though you haven't knotted this time, the thought of moving just an inch away from you is terrifying and I wrap my arms around your waist to stay as close as somehow possible. We can worry about birth control later.

For a few hours, I actually sleep in your embrace, too tired to keep awake after a whole night without rest and two rounds of sex, when you suddenly stir a little and move to sit up. The small line of daylight coming from the crack between the curtains behind you lights up your face in a strangely beautiful way, even though your eyes are narrowed and your expression is somehow worried.

"You smell like blood. Rin, are you hurt? Did I hurt you?"

Your hands are aimlessly roaming over my body and when I move too, I feel the wetness between my legs. Have I been dreaming weird stuff again, even after our fun from earlier? Blushing, I straighten my back a little, but then I feel the light, stinging pain in my abdomen and quickly shift to look at the sheets beneath me. They're bloody. Your hand clamps down on my arm.

"We need to get you to the hospital, right now. What if I injured you badly? I... I'm sorry, why didn't you say so if it hurt?"

I look up at you in disbelief. Sometimes I doubt you're really a seventeen year old guy. More like a toddler who needs everything explained to him.

"Are you playing dumb or are you really this stupid?", I spit out and quickly get up. "You didn't hurt me, idiot, I'm on my period!"

You stare at me like I've just explained that I'm married to the floor and it's actually so funny and cute that I can't help but laugh at your dumbfounded expression.

"Seriously, Haru", I mutter before grabbing my bag and walking over to the door. "It feels like you know absolutely nothing about Omegas. Where have you been living until now? On the moon?"

Without even giving you the chance to respond, I slip outside and walk over to the bathroom to clean up. Not long after, I hear you follow me and roll my eyes.

"S-Sorry. You're going to call me stupid again for asking, but... that means you're not pregnant, right?", you ask quietly, staring at the bath I've run for myself, but my warning snarl makes you stop by the door.

Your question sends a cold shiver down my spine, though. Right. If I'm on my period, then I haven't gotten pregnant this time. Nodding, I slowly sink down on the edge of the bathtub. You exhale in relief and I feel my tongue growing numb.

"That means you won't be having a child."

Your voice sounds lighter than just seconds ago, something strange carries it now. Of course you're glad that I'm not pregnant. I should be glad too. You're right. I won't be having a child. I won't be holding a child in my arms in nine months. I won't be waking up in the middle of the night to console a crying baby. I won't be teaching a toddler how to play football in a few years. I won't be calling them for dinner. I won't watch my child leave for their first day of school. I won't open my eyes on Sunday morning to a kid calling me Daddy.

"Yeah. I won't be having a child", I agree quietly.

And burst into tears the second those words have left my lips.

\- - - - - -

"Eat something."

You're still sitting on the edge of the nest, just like two hours ago, but I refuse to turn and look at you.

"I feel sick."

With a soft sigh, you reach out to me again, even though I've been and am clearly avoiding your touch.

"You're not sick, it's probably just your Omega part that tries to make you feel guilty about not getting pregnant. I... I called my father to ask about it."

Oh.

That's some drastic measures right there. I open my eyes slightly, stare at the blanket I've been clutching to my chest and only now I notice that it's one of yours.

"He says... that once you are on birth control, you won't get that feeling anymore", you explain hesitantly when I finally allow you to place your hand on my shoulder. "So let's just go to a doctor and let him prescribe you with something so you'll be alright again. I'd... I'd hate to see you leave for Australia like this, and you'll have to be at the airport in four hours."

After you've made sure that I'm not going to hiss at you anymore, you slowly move into the nest and spoon up behind me. Your arm around my middle feels good, but I can't bring myself to really enjoy the feeling of being held like this. I don't deserve to be taken care of. I'm a bad Omega. Gritting my teeth slightly, I fight back the tears once more. Maybe you're right, after all. Maybe I'm just giving in to my instincts too much again. Maybe it'll really be better when I'm on birth control.

"So?", I mutter into the blanket before me. "Did you mean we have to go right now?"

You nod slowly.

"Yes. I'm sorry, Rin. I don't understand how you're feeling, but I don't like to see you like this. You have to get better. You can't get depressed every month. That's not going to work out."

I don't respond, just bury myself a little deeper in the pillows and blankets. From afar, I hear you sighing softly, then you get up and open the drawer with your clothes. I hear the rustling of fabric, the calming sounds of someone moving around the room and suddenly, I feel like a child again, when my mom has allowed me to open the door to my room a little so I can hear her in the kitchen. It's stupid and idiotic to think about it as an adult man, but the comforting sensation is still the same.

"Rin." You kneel down by my side again and gently touch my arm. "Please get up."

The demand is hidden behind your soft tone and you've even bothered to say Please, but I feel the cold shiver and my body moves on its own. That Alpha voice is getting on my nerves. I think I've said it before - I don't want you to use it on me anymore. But you seem to think getting me to a doctor is necessary right now and if I'm honest, I don't care.

I don't notice how pained your expression is when you gently advise me to get dressed, come downstairs and get into the car. Finally, when you're concentrating on driving, the strange tension falls from my body and I sink even deeper into the car seat, too exhausted, too drugged by your voice to protest anymore. Streets and houses and parks and then a driveway, a parking lot and a white building I somehow recognize, but I can't really say why.

"Come on, please", you say again, and this time, there's no hidden demand in your voice. "Rin, I hate to see you like this. You need help. Immediately."

Walking is weird when my head feels like it's filled with cotton, but your hand on my wrist is somewhat reassuring, at least. The stench of disinfectant hits me when we pass a sliding glass door and even though I stop instinctively and crinkle my nose, you pull me further down the white hallway. I hear you talk to someone and see the outlines of a person clad in all white move before us, but everything is sort of blurry, like I'm watching and listening from behind stained glass. We're being led into a waiting room and I see you fold a piece of paper they've obviously given you before you gently push me down onto one of the chairs and run one hand over my forehead, letting it linger slightly.

"You're getting feverish", I hear your voice whisper too close to me and then, I'm curled up against your side, hiding my face in the collar of your jacket.

Why do we have to be here? Why haven't you just let me sleep it off? I'll be fine, probably... There are other people around us too, but I don't really care who sees me like this right now. If anyone dares to say anything, I know you'll step in.

"Nanase-kun, the doctor is ready to see you now", a voice suddenly chimes and you carefully nudge my arm a little to catch my attention.

"Rin, get up. We'll have you checked out."

Following you everywhere is so tiring, but I can't help it. I have to obey when you talk like this. Groaning in frustration, I somehow manage to climb to my feet without slamming right back into the ground. A nurse is showing us to a secluded room and the second we enter, I suddenly feel sick enough to throw up.

"What are you going to do with him?"

Your voice is a little distant.

"Just a blood test to see how strong the birth control pills have to be to effectively keep him from getting pregnant", someone answers.

The soft cushioning of the examination table under my hands makes me relax and the doctor smiles a little at me before he tightens an elastic band around my upper arm. Then, I feel a stinging pain and flinch instinctively to get the needle out of my flesh, but I'm being held down until the glass vial one of the nurses has attached to it is full.

"Rin, I'm right here, okay?", I hear you mutter softly. "We'll just have to wait a moment until the test results are back."

The doctor nods and wraps a thin layer of bandages around my arm to cover the small wound.

"It'll take about half an hour for our lab", he agrees. "In the meantime, I'll leave the room so I won't disturb you. Please rest, it's important for the both of you to calm down. There's always a nurse close by, so should anything happen, please call for one of them."

The doctor gets up from his chair and walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. You exhale quietly and sit down on the examination table next to me, hands ghosting over my shoulder, my arm, and finally my stomach.

"Hey", you mutter with a hesitant tremble in your voice. "I know you're upset, but I promise you, one day we'll have children. As many as you want. I probably... I probably sounded like I was happy you're not pregnant earlier on, but I didn't mean it like that. We're just so young, do you understand? We met again barely a week ago and even though I've missed you so much for those last few years, I can't imagine to have kids yet. But... you know... if you really want to get pregnant..."

You stop for a moment, obviously thinking about how to voice your thoughts. You're not good at talking, have never been, if I remember correctly. But that doesn't matter. I can talk for the both of us.

"We can... we can think of how to work it out. We can go over our finances and try to figure out a way to provide for a child. Maybe we can even sign up for child support and maybe... maybe then we can try to have a baby."

Those carefully spoken words are heavy on my chest, because I know you don't really want to say them. You just try to offer comfort to your distressed Omega, like any good Alpha would do. I close my eyes and turn my head away so I won't have to face you any longer. How could you ever understand the guilt that's nagging on my insides? That tells me what a disappointment I am for not even being able to get pregnant? The only reason Omegas exist is to bear children and I can't even seem to do that.

"Rin, please, look at me."

Your hand gently touches my face and my body reacts on its own. My arm bolts forward, I feel something warm beneath my palm and then you back away from my side.

At the same moment, someone knocks against the door and a nurse enters.

"Excuse me, please, but the lab results are available now. Would you-"

She stops abruptly and only then do I notice that she's staring at you. Blood is dripping down your cheek that spots four large claw marks, but you don't make a sound, you don't get angry at me. You just wipe the blood away and look at the clipboard in the nurse's hand.

"Why isn't the doctor back?", you ask a little impatiently and the nurse swallows, trying to ignore your bloodied sleeve.

"He... he is still talking to a colleague", she quickly dodges your question. "But he will be with you shortly. I'm just here to deliver the results."

With that, she places the clipboard down and escapes from the room. I sit up slightly to glance at the papers, but the words blurs in front of my eyes and I close them again. You carefully read over what's written there and look back at me.

"I don't understand any of this. Some of the numbers are red, some of them orange. And there's a few abbreviations at the bottom, circled with a marker and some question marks next to it. It doesn't look all too good."

You never dress anything up and I love you for it. Being told that everything is fine when it's not is the worst thing in this world. Finally, the door opens again, this time without anyone knocking, and the doctor enters, stern-faced.

"Matsuoka-kun, Nanase-kun, have the test results been brought to you?", he asks and you nod.

"Yes. I don't get what they mean, though. I'm not a medic."

The doctor grabs the clipboards and flips through the pages for a few quiet moments while I just press my face into your side and you brush one hand over my hair to calm me down a little.

"Sorry for the delay", the doctor finally speaks up again. "I had to consult a colleague from the gynecology department."

You tense up and so do I while he seemingly tries to figure out how to break to us whatever he's about to say.

"Why?", you ask, voice quiet and without any recognizeable emotions. "What's wrong? Is Rin sick? Is something not okay with him?"

Sighing, rubbing his face with one hand, the doctor looks down at his clipboard again.

"I... I don't know how to explain it to you when we can't even figure out the cause of the problem, but..." He groans and pinches the bridge of his nose. "This will be very hard on him, especially because he's just in that typical depressive state some Omegas enter when they haven't conceived after their heat, so I'll have to ask you to hold him down before he hurts himself."

I feel cold panic rising from within me at those word and want to get up, but you just shift closer to me, wrap one arm around my middle and I'm shaking before the doctor even opens his mouth to speak again.

"Matsuoka-kun is infertile. You will never have children."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who absolutely couldn't fucking wait to post the next chapter? (つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)つ


	9. Chapter 9

How does breathing work again? My body can't seem to remember, but that's fine. It's useless anyway. My body is useless. I am useless. You'll maybe stay with me for a few years, but as soon as you start wanting children, you'll leave me for another Omega.

Or even worse - you'll mark me and get a second Omega to have your children. I wouldn't be able to leave. I would have to sit and watch someone else bear your kids, probably forgotten or just used for your pleasure whenever you felt like it, whenever the mother or father of your children would refuse you.

"Rin?"

I jerk awake from my black, draining thoughts and look over at you, confused and exhausted when I see your usually so blank face flash concern and worry and fear.

"Rin, say something."

Your grip on me tightens, your arm coiling around my waist tenses.

"Please, Nanase-kun, don't stress him right now. Let him try to process it."

The doctor sits back on his swivel chair and carefully, as if not to make a sound, places the clipboard down onto his desk while he watches us. I don't feel like I can talk. I don't feel like I can do anything but slowly back away from your touch. You don't make a move to keep me in place, just watch me, quietly, almost frightened.

"How... how is that possible?", I finally manage to choke out, desperate to believe that maybe, I've just not heard it right. "The... the tests at Samezuka showed that my fertility rate is... it's supposed to be even higher than average!"

The doctor shakes his head compassionately.

"The schools usually just measure fertility levels by grading the physique, how healthy the Omega's diet is, how good they can handle kids and how strong their heats are, hence how ready they are for bearing children. But... I'm so sorry... The blood tests show it quite clearly. You are to almost 95% infertile. I will admit, your heats seem to always be strong, from what I've read in your data base, and I can't really explain that. Still, the chance of you ever being able to bear children is almost at zero. I'm very sorry."

I look at you, instinctively seeking out your comfort, my eyes begging you to fix this, to make everything alright, but your head is lowered and a strange shadow is shrouding your face in darkness.

\- - - - - -

"Will you be fine on your own?"

You talk quietly, still clinging to my hand. I don't know why you still pretend to care. You can't possibly mean what you're saying.

"Of course", I mutter, grabbing my backpack a little tighter. "I have to go."

It's the fourth time that I try to get away from you, but something inside me makes me hesitate. I don't want to leave from your side - or at least my inner Omega doesn't want to. You're my Alpha, after all, and I'm about to move to another country, thousands of miles away from you. But I know that I have to go. Sebastian is waiting for me and at least he won't care if I'm able to have kids or not. It doesn't matter to him. It's none of his business, after all.

"Did you... did you tell your mom, Gou and Sosuke that you're moving back to Australia?", you suddenly ask and I feel my blood running hot and cold and something in between that burns like acid.

No, I haven't. I've completely forgotten about that. But it doesn't matter either way. I just want to be back in Sydney. Now I don't even care if you're going to come or not. I won't expect you to. Who would expect an Alpha to stay with an Omega who can't give him any children? I surely don't. In a week or two I'll get a message from you that you're not going to come and it'll be fine. I'll be prepared for it by then. Sure, it hurts now, knowing that you don't want to be with me anymore, but it will get better. I will get better.

"No. They don't know yet", I sigh and suddenly, pulling my hand out of our grip is easier than before. "They don't need to. They'll know once the teachers report me missing. Mom wouldn't let me go, much less Sosuke."

I look into your pretty, dark blue eyes and hope the children you will have one day are going to have your eyes. Maybe I'll see a picture of them in the newspaper when the press will be flocking around you and your future mate after they've given birth.

You must know that this is farewell and the look you give me is bitter and too long. I take a step back, towards the terminal.

You stare after me for a long time, I feel your gaze searing into my back, but it doesn't stop me. I hate flying, have always hated it, but this time I pull on my headphones and stare out of the window, into the dark night sky without even thinking of what could happen on the flight. Who cares if the plane goes down? I turn up the volume of my music player and finally close my eyes.

_I'll be lost inside my head_  
_Bad thoughts 'til four am_  
_And I'll try to sleep_

_And I can't tell anyone_  
_I'm so scared they'll get up and run_  
_So I don't speak_

_Oh, and I miss when we were younger_  
_The days were so much longer_  
_... weren't they?_

It sure feels like they were, I agree silently. Because it's midday already when I open my eyes for the next time. My phone is dead - battery drained. I don't care. Keep the headphones on. The voice of the pilot echoes over the speakers, telling us that we will arrive in Sydney in twenty minutes. A few passengers are also just waking up a from a good night's rest, others close their laptops and books and straighten up a little. I wait until the flight attendants tell us that we may leave the plane now, wish us a good stay and show us down to the terminal. I follow a young couple outside, the Omega nervously clinging to her Alpha who just laughs and kisses her cheek.

The first breath I take back in Australia feels cool in my lungs. How nice to be in the air-conditioned arrival hall of Sydney's airport after spending hours trapped with stuffed air inside the plane. My suitcases are already being unloaded and after finding out that I don't have to do anything else than show my passport - Sebastian has already checked me out online - I am free to go. _To go where, though?,_ I ask myself after walking out into the warmth of Australia's winter sun. Only Sebastian knows I'm coming and he's not here to pick me up. Probably out working. All around me people are greeted by friends, lovers, family. Businessmen are gathering all their stuff with one hand, the other holding their phones close to their ears as they talk to their boss or their partner. I feel like I'm the only one alone here.

Should I take a cab to Lori and Russell's place? Or maybe shoot Eric and Danny a message so we can meet up somewhere in the city? When I check my phone, I remember that it's dead. Oh well. Just as I close my eyes with a sigh and decide to visit my parents first when-

"Boo", a voice whispers into my ears and I actually jump, startled.

Eric almost doubles over, laughing, while Danny just stands there, arms behind his back, softly smiling at me with his eyes warm and welcoming as ever.

"You walked straight past us. Daydreaming like always", he says and reaches one hand up to tug a little at his beanie. "Hey Rin."

In contrast to him, Eric wraps both arms around me, lifts me up and squeezes me as tightly as possible.

"Nice to see you back home, sharkrad! God, I was getting so _bored_ without you at school and practice! No shit, when Basti called me to say you were coming today, I thought he was shitting me, but Danny said what if he really meant it? So we drove here as fast as possible and now look who comes marching through the airport? Mister Johnny Head-in-air!"

I drop my head against his shoulder when he sets me back down. He's grown even more over the past three years and now he's almost taller than Sosuke.

"Hi Eric", I whisper into his shirt and drop the handle of my suitcase to cling to him a little harder. "I'm home."

It's so good to hear someone talk English again. It's so good to hear my best friend's voice again. I've missed this, I've missed him. I've missed them. Danny steps up behind me and grabs my bag as well as my suitcase.

"Come on, Eric's car is just a short walk down the street", he urges and I slowly turn to him before I wrap one arm around his neck too, pull him closer and squeeze my eyes shut.

"I missed you guys", I choke out faintly and Danny, whose whole body has gone tense at my sudden hug, lifts one hand and carefully, almost awkwardly pats my shoulder.

"It's... it's alright. I missed you too, Rin."

He pulls back as quick as possible without seeming impolite. Good old Danny. Even though Eric is groping him day and night, he still flinches from every kind of physical contact. Suddenly though, my face is grabbed and Eric pinches my cheek with one finger, scowling a little.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong with you? You haven't smiled once since you've gotten here! Where is my shark grin? I missed those teeth, y'know!"

Danny rolls his eyes as we're walking and throws a short glance over his shoulder.

"Eric, leave the poor guy alone. He's had a long flight and you're already getting on his nerves within four minutes of arrival. Get your shit together, man", he mutters and grabs the keys from his pocket to unlock the car in front of us.

It's a silver cabrio - the kind Eric has always wanted to get. Cool, I have to admit.

"So, you're an Alpha?", I ask, trying to convince my sore throat to talk but damn, speaking at normale volume hurts.

"No, why do you think that?", my best friend asks, confusion clear on his face, but then he seems to get it. "Ah, because in your medieval country only Alphas can get their license at sixteen? Nah man, that kind of sexism has long since been abandoned here. I'm an Omega, just like you, if I guess that sweet scent of yours right."

Elbowing me in the side, he hops into the driver's seat and starts the engine. I've expected a more dramatic reaction, but then again - who cares if you're an Alpha or Omega here in Australia? It doesn't matter either way. Danny, who's thrown my stuff into the trunk, returns to the front of the car and gets into the passenger seat so naturally that it almost seems like they've been doing this for a long time.

"Come on, get in", Eric calls out to me and I obey, slowly slide myself onto the back seat.

As soon as the door is closed behind me, my best friend maneuvres the car out of the parking lot and out onto the road. The cool wind brushing over my face carries the scent of dust and warm sunshine and I close my eyes a little.

"We'll drop your stuff off at Basti's and then go out to celebrate your return, how 'bout that?", Danny suddenly asks with a grin, turning a little in his seat.

His eyes are glowing at the word _celebrate_ and I know exactly what he's thinking. The alcohol will flow like milk and honey in the promised land tonight, I can already guess.

"Yeah, partying without you hasn't been the same", Eric agrees with a laugh. "Like, it's unbelievable how boring everything is when you're not around? I'm so glad you're back, man!"

It's kind of a long drive, but we have a lot to catch up on. Eric mostly rambles on about school and training and the guys he's hit it off with lately while Danny adds a few details here and there and tells a few stories of his own while I'm content to listen, happy to hear my best friends' voices after so long. Finally, a large, white house gets into sight and the car slows down.

"Okay, we'll wait in the car, alright?", Eric asks with a wide grin and I nod before getting my suitcase and bags out of the trunk and taking them up to the front door.

But before I even have the chance to ring the bell, the sound of a key being turned in the lock makes me stop and then, the door swings open, revealing a tall man and the overwhelming scent of confident, overjoyed Alpha makes my legs tremble. Sebastian steps forward and his arm wraps around me with ease before I have the chance to break down.

"Whoa, easy there. Hello, golden boy."

He smiles, his snow white fangs flashing slightly, and then he pulls me against his chest. I bore my claws into his shirt to just make him hold me for a bit longer, for just a minute longer. His hand rubs circles into my back.

"I'm not letting go", he hums softly, reassuringly. "You're with me now. You're home, Rin, you're safe. I'm holding you right now, do you understand? I'm here to protect you."

I forget that my two best friends are waiting for me, that they're probably watching, that we're still out in the open - I start to sob my heart and soul out while Sebastian picks me up, lets me wrap my arms around his neck and carries me inside, down the stairs to a small room that's plastered in pillows and blankets and everything smells comfortingly like other Omegas, like Liv and Wendy and I hear their timid voices as they adjust the nest.

"Oh dear, poor boy..."

"Here, Basti, put him down here, we got a few of your shirts like you asked us to..."

"Is he alright? Is he okay?"

"Shush Livvy, let him breathe..."

"See, just like this. That's better, now calm down. It's fine, we're all here for you..."

Their mutters and whispers blur until I don't know who's talking, who's touching me. They stroke my hair and rub my shoulders and back to calm me down from my crying fit, but it feels like the tears will keep pouring forever. Sebastian is lying right next to me, and his serene scent is like a safe haven I can escape into until it wraps around me like a blanket on a cold winter day. I must be still smelling like you, because now and then, he brushes his hands over my body, trying to cover each and every inch of me with his own scent, a makeshift warning for any other Alpha that I'm not a single Omega. I have a strong Alpha behind me, one that will protect me, no matter what, like he's done with Liv and Wendy.

"You're with us now, Rin", his voice rings in my ears while he nuzzles my neck and breathes against my skin almost lovingly. "He may have hurt you, but we're here to fix you again. Don't worry, you're not alone anymore."

I remember his last call. I haven't contacted him since. He still thinks we haven't made up. He still thinks it's all your fault. And I cry even harder when I realize that now, I don't have anyone to blame but myself.

"H-Haru... Haru isn't... he isn't a bad guy", I sob and feel my chest tightening painfully hard. "It's... it's my fault he's... it's my fault he doesn't want to be with... with m-me!"

"Baby, what are you saying there?", Liv asks in shock and strokes my hair. "If he doesn't want to be with you, he doesn't realize what he's missing out on! That's his fault, Rin, not yours!"

But I just shake my head and shift closer to Sebastian, who suddenly looks up at the two girls next to us.

"Livvy, Wendy, would you mind leaving us alone for a moment?"

Without a word of protest, only that undying love and dedication in their eyes, they nod and slowly get up from where they're sitting. How much trust can someone possibly feel towards another person? How can someone not even question their partners decisions like this? He's not using his Alpha voice, he's not demanding anything, he's asking a favour and they agree without a second thought. The door closes behind them and Sebastian sits up a little to look down at me.

"Why did you say that?", he asks with his quiet, soothing voice. "Why do you believe it's your fault?"

I can't even find the power to respond between the sobs, but finally, when I've managed to catch my breath a little, I sniff, wipe my face and turn my head away. I can't even look at him while saying it.

"B-Because... because I can't have k-kids! We... we made up, before... before I came here. And he took me to... t-to the doctor because I was... he said I was having a depressive p-phase. And the doctor said I'm... I'm infertile. I will never have children. And I know Haru won't... he won't stay with... with me after this! He promised to come, he promised he'd come after me as soon as he's... he's taken c-care of everything in Japan, but now... now he won't ever come here. Why would... would he?" I feel the tears rising again. "What k-kind of Alpha wants... wants an Omega who can't eventually give them a... a family?"

Sebastian stares at me and I see him nervously lick his lips. That's not what he's been expecting. He knows how to handle an Omega with low self-esteem, he knows how to boost one's confidence and make the person he's talking to feel like they're the most beautiful, perfect, desireable being in the entire world - he knows how to handle a _damaged_ Omega. But he's probably never been faced with a _broken_ Omega. An Omega who can't bear children is even more outcast than an Omega who has been rejected by their Alpha for another reason.

"I'm useless", I whisper with tears brimming in my eyes, but they won't overflow. "I'm useless and not worthy of anyone's love. I'm... I'm sorry for coming here. I won't bother you. I'll ask uncle Tom if he will let me live on his farm if I work for him. S-Sorry for all the inconvenience. If I ever... if I get a job, I'll repay you for the plane ticket."

That sounds like a good idea. Maybe uncle Tom can use a worker for the stables. There, in the Australian outback, nobody will care if I have kids or not. The only time uncle Tom ever drives to town and meets with other people is when he needs parts for his machines or more ammo to fight off the mountain lions from his cattle, the rest of the year, he lives alone in the wasteland.

"Rin, calm down", Sebastian says firmly and wipes my cheeks dry. "You're clearly overreacting. The first thing you will do now is rest. And as soon as you've slept those stupid thoughts off, you come upstairs to eat something. And then, we'll have a drink or two and maybe play some video games and talk. I'll tell Danny and Eric to go home for the day." He notices that I'm about to protest and presses his hand against my mouth. "Tsk tsk. No talking back. You will listen to me for once, you emotional wreck."

For a moment I have to fight the urge to bite down into his palm, but then I relax and nod. Smiling, Sebastian pulls his hand back.

"Good. Sleep well, golden boy. We'll be waking you up for dinner, so take a nap and don't worry about a thing."

He stands up and walks over to the door to slip outside, then he closes it very slowly behind him, slow enough for me to call out for him if I wanted to. But I really don't feel like having someone sleep next to me right now. The scent from his shirts that are neatly arranged around me is enough comfort for now and my lids start to grow heavy. I've slept and dozed off a lot during my flight, but you can't really rest when every heavy gust of wind hitting the plane makes you bolt up awake and alert.

"Haru", I whisper to myself, and your name sets off a sharp pain in my chest that feels too good to be real pain. "Goodbye, Haru."

\- - - - - -

The small lamp next to the nest is switched on, humming quietly, steadily, into the silence of the closet. It illuminates an almost pale face and glossy black hair fanned out on the pages of a book the young man has been reading until exhaustion has demanded its tribute, effectively putting him to rest for the night. His eyes are closed and dark shadows are forming beneath them - not very prominent yet, but definitely visible. He's tired and frustrated, hands unconsciously clawing at the blankets beneath him. Concern has kept him restless all day. How is his mate doing oversea? Has he had a good flight? Is he home safely? Asleep? Having late dinner with his homestay parents? Out drinking with friends? Thinking of him? He shifts in his sleep and the pages crinkle. A colorful illustration becomes visible. He has to rely on the pictures alot, doesn't know many of the words written before him. English has never been his forté. But he needs to learn it now if he wants to live in a country that will require him to speak it. The children's books are easier to read than the texts in his exercise book.

The picture on the page he's fallen asleep on shows a little girl in a blue and white skirt, curiously watching a hare and a hatter having tea with a dormouse. The colors mix and blur together and he tumbles down a swirling spiral of voices and memories and his brows twitch a little, his breath hitches, even in his sleep, and he starts dreaming.

\- - - - - -

_The sun is warm and teasing on Haru's skin and he lazily blinks up at the sakura blossoms above his head. They're pink, brighter, more beautiful than he's ever seen them as long as he can remember and he decides that he will pick a branch and bring it home to Rin tonight. Hand it to him and kiss his lips that are just as soft and alluring as the petals of the cherry blossoms to see his eyes light up like they do whenever he's very happy about something. And even though it's comfortable there beneath the sakura tree, Haru gets up and stretches, up towards the lowest branch until his hand reaches a twig with the most beautiful blossoms and he gently breaks it off, when suddenly, something small and fast dashes past his legs and almost makes him stumble._

_"Ohhh, ears and whiskers, how late it's getting!", a familiar voice whines and a wild mess of white and black hops across the meadow and into the tall grass by the riverside._

_Those words are familiar to him, even though he can't exactly remember why. All he really wants to know is why the rabbit that has just rushed past him is talking with Nagisa's voice. And why the rabbit is even talking at all. So he grasps the branch of sakura blossoms tighter and rushes after the rabbit, into the tall grass not far from his spot beneath the tree, when his foot suddenly catches on a root that sticks out a little, covered in moss and almost impossible to see, and he trips and falls - but not to the ground, but rather head over heels down an endless hole._

_Haru screams when the walls start rotating around him and clutches the twig tighter to his chest as if it will somehow magically safe him from the impact that's to come - but never comes. After a moment, he dares to open his eyes, only to notice that he's not even falling anymore. He's rather immersed in a little pond of clear water that must've caught his fall. He looks around, panting a little, and finally manages to swim over to the edge. With shaking arms, he lift himself out of the water and worriedly checks on the branch of cherry blossoms in his hands, but not one of the small, fragile flowers is harmed._

_Next to him there's the white rabbit, shaking the water from its fur before he takes out a pocket watch and straightens its whiskers._

_"Oh, fur and paws, I'll be late, I'll be very late!", it mutters again with Nagisa's voice and just as Haru wants to say something, the rabbit suddenly seems to notice him and squeaks gleefully. "Oh, hi Haru-chan! Have you fallen down the rabbit hole? Ah, I'm in such a hurry! The duchess will scold me if I'm late once more, I have to get going!"_

_And with that, the rabbit that somehow seems to be Nagisa, bounces off, down a small corridor._

_"H-Hey!", Haru calls out nervously and gets up. "Nagisa! Hold up!"_

_But the small, fluffy white tail is already out of sight and he's left alone again. Slowly, Haru begins to follow the path as well, looking around with every step he takes. The floor and walls are smooth, like someone has polished the dirt to make a neat little corridor that leads back out into the open. Wide meadows and forests are splayed out before him and Haru lets his gaze wander around to take the beautiful sight in._

_"Hmm... hmhm... enjoying the view, yes?"_

_A giggle, a laugh. He turns to the side and takes a step back out of instinct when he sees the slender cat hanging in the air like it's lying on the branch of a tree or the top of a fence, its giant grin fading not once. A pink and purple striped tail is teasingly flicking against Haru's nose and he swats it away in annoyance._

_"Kisumi?"_

_The cheshire cat rolls onto its back and lifts one paw up against the sky._

_"Hm hm... of courrrrrrse", it purrs and even though Haru hasn't thought it possible, the grin of the cat widens even more. "Who else do you think would smile like this?"_

_"If you and Nagisa are here", Haru demands impatiently, "then where's Makoto? And Rei? What about Gou?"_

_"Oh?" The cheshire cat laughs and its fur ruffles. "So many questions. The hatter and the march hare, if you are asking about them, and I think you are, live in that direction." Its tail flicks left and right and finally points onward, towards a narrow path in the woods. "The duchess, instead, you will find just the other way. They are all pleasingly mad today, too."_

_Haru stares suspiciously at the grinning cat. He doesn't really trust Kisumi - not when he's awake and even less now that he's dreaming. But what choice does he have, really? He has to get somewhere eventually._

_"Alright. What about Rin? Where is he?"_

_At that, the tip of the cheshire cat's tail trembles and to Haru's utter surprise, it starts fading into thin air._

_"The king of hearts is especially mad", it says with Kisumi's voice again and grins widely once more. "And he is not the good kind of mad."_

_With that, the confusing creature disappears completely and Haru stands there, at loss with the world around him, but then he gives himself a push and starts walking into the woods - towards the hatter and the march hare. The king of hearts... Rin? Is Rin the king of this crazed dreamland? The path before him twists and turns and only when he thinks he'll never get out of this forest, he sees smoke rising from a small house on a clearing not far from where he's standing. There's a table set up and there they are - Rei, clad in dark blue and golden robes with a black hat sitting crookedly on his head and Makoto, who looks relatively like usual. That is, until Haru spots the soft, caramel coloured bunny ears sticking up from his hair._

_"Haru!", Makoto calls out happily and waves him over. "You're just in time for tea! Come, join us!"_

_Rei takes a sip from his mug and nods at him when he cautiously approaches._

_"Good afternoon, Haruka-senpai. We haven't seen you in a long time. Have your dishes been acting up again?"_

_Haru scowls a little and shakes his head in confusion. Everything in this dream is so weird and messed up..._

_"N-No, I don't believe they have. Have you seen Nagisa? Or Kisumi? Are they with you?"_

_Makoto looks up and down the long, otherwise empty table, then he lifts the tablecloth and peeks under its hem, leans back up and shakes his head._

_"Sadly, no. Nagisa is running errands for the duchess and Kisumi is supposed to help him. She doesn't have time to wash the lawn herself today, you know. The king has sent out invitations for a feast tonight."_

_"Hm", Rei suddenly sulks. "The duchess is just too lazy. If she got up before two in the morning, she would easily find the time to wash the lawn and comb and cut and dye it, too. But since she has that new housemaid she has taken to doing nothing all day."_

_Makoto nods in agreement and empties the sugar pot into the grass next to him, only to fill it with small pebbles he's picking from the ground._

_"Rin is having a feast?", Haru asks, deciding not to bother about this absolute insanity that seems to have taken ahold of everbody._

_At his words, both Rei and Makoto flinch and both drop what they're holding - Makoto the sugar pot that breaks with a loud crash when it hits the tabletop - and Rei his cup, that rolls over and all the tea spills onto the white tablecloth._

_"Oh, don't say his name out loud like this!", Makoto gasps and lifts one hand to his chest. "The king doesn't want anyone to call his name! He is in a very bad mood lately."_

_Gritting his teeth, Haru turns around and stares back into the forest he's come from._

_"How can I get an invitation?"_

_He's almost given up on ever getting a normal answer from the two of them, when Rei speaks up._

_"Well, to get an invitation, you must attend the festival of the rising sun. When he sees you present there, he invites you to feast with him for an evening, this evening being today."_

_"And when is this festival? How do I get there?", Haru urges his friend on, getting quite annoyed with how strange everybody is talking today._

_Rei carefully taps one finger against his cup, obviously content that it's still whole, then throws it over his shoulder and grabs the whole teapot instead._

_"It has been the day before after last week."_

_Makoto nods again, eagerly agreeing to Rei's words._

_"It was a lovely festival. I've never seen the king so kind-hearted before."_

_"Right, he even pardoned fourty-seven of the three-hundred people he'd sentenced to death. That was a good day. But why would you even need an invitation, Haruka-senpai?"_

_Groaning, Haru spins around and marches off. They're absolutely nuts, both of them. Maybe Gou is a little more reasonable. He starts running halfway down the path - until he finds another house in the distance. But already when he spots his friend on the front porch, his last hope that she may be of help vanishes just as fast as the cheshire cat. Gou is sitting in a rocking chair, staring up into the sky and a piglet is running around the porch, in and out the front door._

_"Gou!", Haru calls out as he walks up the stairs to her, begging, praying to all deities that she hasn't succumbed to the madness completely already. "Gou, do you know where Rin-"_

_"Shhhh!", she interrupts without even looking at him._

_Haru is silent, stunned for a moment. Then, he starts over._

_"Gou, please, I need to-"_

_"Shhhh!", she hisses again, more aggressively this time._

_The crashing of porcellain comes from inside the house and Haru carefully takes a look past the front door. The piglet is balancing on the kitchen counter, tearing plates and mugs out of the cupboards to throw them to the floor and break them, then it jumps down as well and runs towards the front door again, out onto the porch, rounds Gou a few times and dashes back into the kitchen to wreak havoc once more._

_"What does the clock say, Hana-chan?", Gou asks absent-mindedly, but the piglet just grunts and now that she says it - the pigtails it's wearing do kind of remind Haru of Hana-chan._

_Kicking the doorframe in silent anger, he turns around and walks off again, fists clenching. How is he supposed to find the way if his friends have all gone crazy?_

_"Stupid dream, stupid, stupid dream", he mutters as he's walking, staring firmly at the ground as if he can will it to turn into a path. "What kind of dream is this even?"_

_He kicks a few stones that are lying in front of him, but they firmly stay in place. Until Haru notices that he's standing by the side of a stone-plastered road that leads up to a giant castle with silver towers and white flags with red hearts on them on every little tower. Admiring the sight, Haru slowly wanders up to the castle. Two guards are standing by the gate and he already fears they might ask him to show his invitation, but to his surprise, they even bow when he approaches and let him pass without a word. The lush gardens behind the gate seem to suit Rin too well. Fountains bubble happily about and red roses are growing everywhere, as far as one can see._

_"Off with his head", a voice suddenly says, very bored and very darkly and when Haru turns around, he sees a big, red throne standing on a large plaza in the midst of the garden._

_And on the throne, dressed in finest clothes of red and white, sits a man with flaming hair and his pale right cheek is adorned by the ace of hearts, but his eyes are cold and unforgiving as he waves his hand at the man in front of him. A line of people in shackles has formed in front of the king and Haru stares in shock as they all move forward a bit once the newly sentenced man is dragged over to the guillotine. The king's eyes now lie upon the next prisoner, and to Haru's utter dismay, it's Nagisa - the white rabbit. After a short moment, the king sighs and waves his hand again._

_"Off with his head."_

_Nagisa sobs and lowers his head and wants to walk towards the guards too, when suddenly-_

_"No."_

_Haru is surprised at how firm his own voice sounds as he steps forward and in between the king and Nagisa._

_"Rin, whatever you're doing, stop it."_

_Red eyes narrow down on him and Rin leans forward on his throne, hands clawing the armrests._

_"So you've decided to finally come to me, Haru", he says with an almost devilish smirk. "You have no say in this. Off with his head too!"_

_Those last words he yells at the hangman, a large man with a black mask that covers all of his face but his eyes that shine just as cold as the steel of the blade he's wielding. Haru doesn't bother. He just keeps looking up at Rin, who glowers at him from high above._

_"Come here, Rin", he coaxes softly, gaze worriedly wandering to the row of people waiting to be executed or released - the former being the more likely option, from what Haru can guess._

_There are Makoto and Rei and Gou, Kisumi and Nagisa, Rin's mother and Sosuke, a man and a woman he thinks he knows from somewhere, both with lowered heads, there are two boys about their age he doesn't recognize, a tall man with dark hair who is protectively stepping in front of two young women. They're all shackled and chained. No chance to escape if Rin doesn't release them. But the king just scoffs down at Haru and sits back on his throne. The hangman is closer now._

_"Why should I? You don't want to be with me, anyway."_

_"What makes you think that?", Haru asks in return._

_"I can't have children. I'm sure you'll want some one day and if I stayed with you until then, I'd be forced to watch you get another Omega who can bear as many children as you want."_

_Rin gracefully crosses his legs. Closer. The metal of the axe is blinking._

_"I will never want anyone else", Haru argues. "I'd never get a second Omega. If we can't have kids, I don't mind. I'll be happy as long as I have you."_

_The king shifts a little, his ice cold glare growing unsure. Even closer. Haru can hear the heavy breathing._

_"You didn't come with me."_

_"It hurts me too to be so far away from you, but there are some things that need to be taken care of here. I need to check if my parents will sell the house if I move out. I need to pack. I need to learn some basic English. I need to get a new passport. My old one is invalid. I need to cancel my college application."_

_Rin is squirming in his seat. Too close. A strong hand grabs Haru's neck and pushes him down onto his knees. He hears the axe being lifted. His gaze is still focussed on the king of hearts._

_"Rin."_

_He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the sakura blossoms, and smiles._

_The axe swings down._

_"Stop!"_

_Rin jumps to his feet, bolts down the stairs of his throne and throws himself against Haru's chest. They roll over and the axe hits jagged ground._

_"Come soon. Come soon, please. I miss you so much."_

_He lifts his head a little and Haru just nods quietly before he tucks the branch with the pink blossoms behind Rin's ear. They look at eachother for a moment, then Rin leans down._

\- - - - - -

The seconds their lips touch, he wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haru dreams some weird ass shit but I love him stfu THANKS FOR READING MINNA (◕‿◕✿)


	10. Chapter 10

I wipe the sweat from my forehead and look up from the wooden plank I'm holding for a moment. In the distance, there's a cloud of red dust rising to the clear blue sky.

"You expecting visitors, uncle Tom?", I ask and push up the hat I'm wearing, even though I have to squint against the blazing sunlight now.

"What?", he pants, still kneeling in the dirt before me, inspecting the broken fence with furrowed brows. "Nah, how come you ask? Give me the hammer and three nails."

I reach down to the leather bag that's sitting between us hand uncle Tom what he's asked of me.

"Don't know, there's a car coming to the ranch, I think."

He just grumbles slightly and starts nailing the wooden planks together while I do my best to keep them in the right position. A bull has broken through the fence last night and we're still missing a few calves and cows that have escaped, but it's more important to keep the rest of the cattle inside for now.

"Can come. We're not home anyway. If it's important, they'll wait."

I wipe my face again and nod before slamming the hat deeper into my face again to protect it from the sunlight. Uncle Tom finishes fixing the fence and sits back a little to examine his work before nodding grimly.

"That'll keep the bastards inside for a while. Atta boy, Rin. You were a great deal of help today. If ya want, ya can go back."

I dust my pants off and shake my head before looking over at the two horses that are tied to the fence just a few feet away.

"I thought I'd go looking for the missing cattle while we have the horses still saddled. I'll just ride back to the farm and get something to drink, then I'm coming straight back here. They have to be around somewhere, right?"

Uncle Tom just nods and packs up the bag before throwing it over his shoulder and walking over to the horses.

"Do whatever ya want."

He slings the belt of the bag over Durango's back, fastens it to the saddle, calls his dogs Pilgrim and Geronimo over and swings himself onto the horse's back while I untie Stetson and step into the stirrups. The quarterhorse snorts lightly when she feels my weight on her back and turns around at the lightest pressure of my heel. I've learned riding on this farm before I've known enough English to be able to say "horse" without stumbling over the word.

One day after school when we were feeling a little cocky again, me, Eric and Danny built campfires out in the wild, only to realize that we were pretty close to an outback farm. Upon seeing the orchard full of delicious ripe peaches, we decided that stealing a few wouldn't hurt anyone. Well, we didn't get hurt, but we did end up with a rifle pointed at us. Uncle Tom made us give the peaches back to him, one by one, then grabbed us by the back of our shirts and dragged us over to the farm house where he sat us down and ranted on about how he was going to skin us alive if he caught us stealing from him one more time. Then he sent us home straight away with a good beating. The next time we were in his orchard, because stupid teenage boys don't learn, he chased his dogs after us and I ended up getting bitten by one of them. While Danny and Eric were too afraid to come near me because the dogs were still growling and barking at them, uncle Tom came running towards us, cursing and yelling. Most of the swear words I know in English, I've learned on that day. He picked me up and carried me back to the farm, washed the wound with whiskey and patched it up. Then he invited us all in for homemade lemonade and offered that we could help him out for money instead of stealing his peaches. And even though he was and still is a loner, he seemed to enjoy the company of three young boys - especially mine. Because I didn't understand everything he said, I didn't talk as much as Danny and Eric did, who were apologizing profusely. They were scared of him and the dogs and never wanted to return to the farm again, but I kept coming back for the rest of my time in Australia.

Eventually, uncle Tom taught me how to groom a horse, how to saddle it and how to ride. He taught me how to calm an agitated bull and how to herd cows. He taught me how to train a dog into being able to guard the cattle and he taught me to fix things on my own. I learned how to find my way through the Australian outback from him, how to find water in seemingly dry terrain, how to fight a mountain lion and how to handle dangerous snakes. From him, I've learned how to throw a lasso, even on horseback. He taught me shooting with a rifle when I was only fourteen and even now, when we're sitting out on the porch in the evening with Pilgrim and Geronimo sleeping peacefully beneath the table, we have fun putting up empty beer cans on the fence across the house and shooting them down.

As we're riding back to the farm, I gently run my hand through Stetson's messy mane and she shakes her head in response. Sebastian has been against taking me here, he's tried to talk me into staying with him, Liv and Wendy, but I've threatened to go on my own if he doesn't drive me over. Finally accepting defeat after realizing that probably not even in Australia, an Omega in my current state will be safe from an overly egocentric Alpha who happens to cross my path when I'm hitchhiking, he has let me pack my stuff into his car and has brought me all the way out here, but not without offering me to try and get me an apartment in the city somewhere, a scholarship. But I've declined politely. I don't want to take up even more of his money, it feels bad enough to be in debt already, even though he keeps assuring me that I don't have to pay him back for anything. But I don't want to live in the city. I don't want to go to college anymore. What for?

Uncle Tom has been more than glad to see me return to him, even though he knows that something is off. I haven't told him anything, have just asked him if he'll let me stay if I start working on his farm and he's happily accepted. I've been staying here for a good week and a half, working from sunrise to sunset without cease. There's always something to do - either the cattle has to be taken to a new pasture, one of the horses needs new shoes or the fence needs repairing. When we get home in the evening, we usually have some beers, relax on the porch and chat a little, but uncle Tom isn't a great talker. Honestly, I start to get used to it. I can talk to the horses, the calves that always flock around me whenever I enter the pastures because they know I always have some apples for them in my bag, and the dogs are good listeners as well.

I won't say that I haven't been thinking of you. That would be a white lie and I know it, but it's to no use anyway. We've had a strange, deep connection - so what? I should be glad that I have been allowed a few good days with you. Asking for more is just too much. I sure miss you, your kisses and the feeling of your warmth at night, the way you say my name, the way you look at me and the way you embrace me that makes me feel so secure. Maybe the hollow ache in my chest will heal with time.

Suddenly, Geronimo and Pilgrim start to bark, uncle Tom unlocks his rifle and I grab Stetson's reins tighter in case they've spotted something dangerous that might spook the horses, but my brown quarterhorse just huffs and lashes her tail to get rid of the flies. Her ears are turning to the side in a relaxed motion and only then do I see that uncle Tom isn't pointing the rifle at a mountain lion or dingo - he's pointing it at the car standing close to the farm house.

Durango shifts nervously. He's a young stallion and other than uncle Tom's old, rusty pick-up truck, he's never seen a car before. It's a snow white car that shines in the blazing sunlight. Pawing the ground with his hooves, Durango backs away slightly, but uncle Tom never once flinches, his aim calm and perfectly centered on the driver's side of the car.

"Who is it?", he bellows. "Get out of that car or the fuck away from my ranch!"

I urge Stetson forward and my eyes narrow a little to see who's in the driver's seat, but it's to no use. Those are one-way windows. Finally, there's a quiet clicking sound and then, the door opens. Black sneakers step into the dust of the Australian outback and then, deep blue eyes look up at me.

"You made me do quite the scavenger hunt to figure out where you had run off to."

Uncle Tom is still unwillingly keeping his rifle pointed at you, while I just sit there and my heart starts racing.

"Rin, who's the guy? What is he saying?"

Instead of answering the question, I slowly wrap the reins around the saddle horn so Stetson won't wander off and jump to the ground, shushing Pilgrim and Geronimo who are still growling darkly, teeth bared and the fur on their neck raised up high. You're leaning against the car door, almost unsure whether to walk towards me or not. It's only been a week and a few days, but it feels like I haven't seen you in ages and my whole body is aching so badly.

"Why are you here?", I demand quietly, crossing both arms in front of my chest to hide that they're trembling. "Why did you come after me?"

Your expression hardens a little.

"Isn't that what you wanted me to do? Hasn't it been you who told me to come to Australia? For a better life?"

I back away instinctively until I feel Stetson's warm body next to me and claw her dark mane. Uncle Tom impatiently clicks his tongue and rides forward, even though Durango still shies away from the parked car.

"Listen up, lad, I don't know if ya understand what I'm saying or if ya even speak English, but I want you to get the fuck off of my property!", he snarls. "If ya have no business here, then piss off!"

He lifts the rifle and gives a warning shot towards the sky. I see you flinch back when the barrel is pointed back at you, but you hold your ground, eyes wandering over to me again. Your scent is a mess of emotions I know you'd never be able to put into words. Fear and worry but relief at the same, longing and desire and something warm that seeps through the cracks in the wall I've put up around me.

"Don't hurt him, uncle Tom", I mutter and bury my face against Stetson's strong neck. "That's Haru."

The tall man looks down at me with suspiciously narrowed eyes, but he lowers the rifle.

"The guy you were talking about when you were younger? Your pal? No offense hotshot, but ya don't look like it make you happy that he's here."

"You don't have to shoot him, anyhow!", I snap back and he really puts the gun back over his shoulder, grumbling but doing me the favour.

Pilgrim and Geronimo are slowly calming down and just sit there now, panting in the heat of midday. We've all been up for a long time today and we're tired and hungry.

"Didn't you miss me at all?", you suddenly ask very softly and I see the short flicker of something strange in your eyes, like disappointment or annoyance.

"Shut up when you already know the answer of the question you're asking", I mutter into the soft fur of my horse before I untie the reins from the saddle horn and lead Stetson towards the paddock behind us.

She lowers her head into the trough filled with cool water and drinks greedily while I stand next to her and stroke her fur that's dark with sweat. You follow me insistently, even after I throw you a sharp glare.

"Haru, I have work to do. I'm just here to grab something to drink, then I need to head out to find some missing calves. If you want to say something, say it and then leave me alone."

My hands nervously fiddle with the loose leather strings I'm holding. A strand of hair has slipped from my carefully tied ponytail and even as I try to shake it out of my face, the warm breeze keeps making it tickle my cheek. Huffing in annoyance, I lift one hand to brush it away. You're faster than me, slender fingers slowly curl into the single, crimson red lock before you tuck it behind my ear.

I close my eyes and cling to Stetson's reins when your other hand suddenly touches my waist and an electric current runs through me. You slowly wrap one arm around my body and press your chest against my back. God, you feel like you're burning up. My lips part without consent and a soft whimper, a pathetic sound escapes from my throat.

"Haru, let go..."

It's no use to struggle against your grip, you won't loosen it even in the slightest.

"Why? You don't really want me to", you state quietly.

So self-assured. That's the Alpha in you speaking and suddenly, I have the power to break away from you. Stetson has finished drinking and I grab the saddle horn, step into the stirrups and swing myself onto her back.

"I don't need you here, Haru", I spit out and switch the reins into my left hand. "You didn't have to come after me out of pity."

Whistling quietly, I signal Stetson to move and she complies at her usual, energetic pace. Uncle Tom has walked inside the house to leave us alone, only to return now with a can of beer that's dripping wet from being brought from the fridge straight into the Australian heat. He throws it and I catch it easily, tip my hat at him and turn Stetson back to the path we've just come from. Spending the afternoon alone in the outback, hunting calves on the back of my favourite horse sounds like the most fun I'll have this week. Reins wrapped around my hand, I open the can and take a long drink. Pearly white foam is slowly trickling over my fingers and I lick it off, unnerved.

"Rin. Come back here."

Even though it's high noon, my body shivers at the sudden cold sensation running through it.

_Obey,_ my inner Omega demands. _He's an Alpha, your Alpha. Obey._

"I won't!", I snarl at both you and myself. "I'm not going to!"

Pressing my heels firmly into Stetson's flanks, I ensure she won't stop either. Good thing I'm on her back. On the ground all by myself, I would have no choice but to obey, but like this, Stetson is taking care of the getting-away-from-you part.

"Rin, will you finally stop sulking like a child? Come back."

You're getting impatient. The slight deepening of your voice gives you away.

"I told you, I have work to do. I don't need to waste my time with someone who feels forced to be with me out of pity."

The rocks and dust crunch beneath the weight of my horse. How could you possibly feel anything but pity? You don't really want to be with me, you just feel obliged to.

"Remember what you promised me", I hear you say very softly all of a sudden. "Rule number three. Never leave me."

I tighten my grip on the reins and let Stetson fall into a light trot. She throws her head back and lifts it high, black mane billowing as I ride away from the farm. My free hand is fisting the jeans I'm wearing, dusty fabric cuts into my palm to suffocate the painful stinging in my throat.

I don't want to be a chore to anyone. I want you to be with me because you, dare I even think it, love me. But I don't want it to be like this.

Not like this.

A frustrated growl breaks from my chest and it makes Stetson bolt up the now steep path at full speed. I know I should slow her down, at least until we've reached safer terrain, but I can't even tighten the reins, instead throw my whole weight forward to make it easier for her. The formerly damp fur of her neck is now dripping wet from fear and stress when she rounds the last twist of the mountain path and just as she does, the loose rocks break from her weight and she almost slips, desperately struggles to get her footing back until firm ground replaces the crumbling edge of the slope.

She stops for a second, trembling yet paralyzed in fear, chest heaving, but I don't grant her time to rest. I want to get away, I want to get as far away from you and the longing ache in my chest as somehow possible. My heels rammed into Stetson's sides are enough to send her chasing across the wide high plateau before us, and it even leaves me wondering if I'm tearing up because of the wind biting at my face or because of you. The pastures we're passing are roamed by grazing cattle and only a few of the cows lift their heads when they hear the hoovefalls on the grass. Stetson is breathing heavily, foam drips from her nostrils and she shakes her head unwillingly when I don't allow her to slow down at all, but she obeys.

_Like every good animal should do when faced with their superior._

The secluded paddock next to us appears out of nowhere and while Stetson is a fast horse - the blur of gold and white that suddenly accompanies us, turning the former escape into a race against the stallion on the other side of the fence, is even faster. Still, he keeps close to her, nodding his head violently, bucking and neighing loudly. I tear at the reins and Stetson almost stumbles, her legs shaking as she slows down even further until she's barely even trotting along the fence. I wipe my face, sleeves now stained with sweat and tears, but my vision is clear as I stare at the beautiful palomino horse who is aggressively flattening his ears back, snorting.

"Shut up!", I pant in his direction. "Stupid bastard, you have no idea!"

The sudden realization that I could be dead, that Stetson and I could both be dead after that reckless chase, hits me hard. She could've tripped and fallen, she could've broken her leg on that breakneck mountain climb.

The palomino stallion snaps at us, kicks the fence with his hooves. Stetson has stopped completely, her head lowered in exhaustion as the reins slip from my hand and I drop forward onto her neck, shaky breaths falling from my lips.

"I'm sorry girl, I'm so sorry, so sorry, oh God, what did I even think to make you get up the mountain like this?"

I don't trust myself enough to get out of the saddle yet, knees feeling too weak to do anything but keep sitting there and trying not to die of a belated panic attack when I think of how easily we could've crashed down the moment the path has crumbled beneath Stetson. I don't notice that we're dangerously close by the fence, though.

When she suddenly rises to her hind legs for a split second, screaming in pain, I'm not conscious enough to even try and hold onto her anymore. Gravity shifts, the ground is coming towards me and I taste dirt and blood in my mouth. The reins move past my eyes in slowmotion, yet when I reach out to grab them, I miss by a mere inch.

Once I find the power to sit up, Stetson is nowhere to be seen and the golden palomino has retreated to a corner of his paddock with wide, rolling eyes.

"You son of a bitch!", I scream at him and carefully move, try to see if I've broken anything. Hard to say since every single part of my body already hurts. "I'm going to fucking make you into dinner one day, don't care what uncle Tom says!"

He only presses against the wooden fence behind him even harder and neighs, a shrill, jarring neigh. I've never before heard a horse sound like this. But uncle Tom adores him, loves him with all his heart. I think, this horse is the only reason why he keeps the ranch. He calls him his "baby" and takes the bites and kicks he gets whenever he enters the paddock without complaints.

Eldorado, he's named him.

If not for the fur, the name would be a total scam. This horse is the furthest thing from a treasure I can imagine. He's calmed down now, even walks towards my side of the fence again. I'm still sitting on the ground, carefully trying put pressure on my leg. I must've gotten a blow by Stetson's hoove when she's run off after he has bitten her. My thigh hurts like shit, and when I press my palm into the abused flesh, the pain sends me astral projecting.

"Fuck!", I gasp, dizzy enough to see everything spinning in front of me. "Fuck, fuck, fuck..."

Is my leg broken? I try to put a little weight onto it again, but except for even more pain, I don't get anything out of it. Gasping, I lean my forehead against my knee and blink the white mist from the edge of my vision. Am I falling unconscious? No, not now, for fucks sake... My body doesn't listen to my pleas. I'm hurt and alone and I want you to come and pick me up and tell me that you're here now and that it will be fine. I want you to carry me back to the ranch and let me sleep next to you and wait until I wake up and have breakfast with me. I want you to talk in your soothing voice, not that stupid Alpha voice from earlier, I want you to look at me calmly, not annoyed like before.

"Haru!", I sob without thinking much of it. "Haru, please, it hurts! Where are you?"

Not close enough to hear me cry out for you, obviously. My vision drowns in inky black.

\- - - - - -

The crashing of thunder and Eldorado's frantic neighing are followed by a flash of white that I notice even from behind closed lids. Immediately, my body is at full alert. I lean up, startled by the sudden noises, the lightning dancing through the dark clouds above, the heat that makes my clothes cling to me in the most uncomfortable way.

A thunderstorm.

I need to get away from here. It's hard to keep my eyes open, but even so, it's to no use. The sun is being swallowed whole by the wall of clouds above. I can only see the indistinctive shape of Eldorado on the other side of the fence, how he paces up and down, throws his head back and forth. I need to somehow get back to the farm. Even though my joints ache and feel stiff, I somehow manage to sit up, hands shakily digging into the ground. But when I get on one knee and want to stand up, I completely forget about my injured leg and the second even the slightest bit of pressure reaches my thigh, I slam back down, suck a sharp breath into my lungs and start choking that same instant. Along with hot air, a wave of smoke reaches deep into my lungs and I cough, my whole body revolts in trying to get rid of the disgusting feeling.

Fire.

That's why Eldorado is so scared. Of course it's not the thunderstorm. He lives here by himself all year long, he knows that thunderstorms are nothing to be afraid of. There's a wildfire. I grab onto the fence, put all my weight on the leg that doesn't feel like someone has tried to saw it off with a dull butter knife and finally manage to stand up.

_Breathe._

The pain is killing me.

_Breathe._

I need to get away.

_Breathe._

The smoke is filling my lungs already. What has been a faint taste at first is now ash-filled air. I start to limp along the fence, towards the gate. I need to let Eldorado escape somehow. I can't leave him behind to die in the fire. As soon as he hears the metal hinges squeak, he bolts past me, out of the paddock and down the plateau in sheer panic. His fur is dark with sweat, from fear and the heat that starts surrounding us. I look over my shoulder, eyes teary from the smoke.

The escarpment behind Eldorado's pasture is burning, flames are gnawing at the old, bone-dry trees and hedges. Some of the sparks have reached the fence already and now the fire is greedily devouring the wooden planks. I hastily pull my hand away, even if the fire isn't spreading this fast yet. Without the support of the fence though, I have to strain my injured leg and escaping like this is impossible.

A fearful commotion, the sounds of hundred of hooves on the ground, makes me jerk my head up.

The cattle!

Adjoining to Eldorado's pasture is the one for the cows and they're in utter mania now that the smoke and heat are approaching them. Coughing up lungful after lungful of ash and burning hot air myself, I limp over to the gate of their paddock and try to open the lock, but the tears are blurring my vision and it's hard to keep my mind clear as it is. My hand slips.

_Again._

It's useless. I can't grasp the handle firm enough, my palm is sweaty. I can't do this. I'm hot and my leg is pulsing to the beat of my racing heart. I can't do it.

_Stop bitching and get to work._

Nothing. The gate won't open. The cows have trampled one of the calves in their frenzy. Its pained screams do little to calm me down.

_You can't do anything. It's a calf, it's a fucking calf. There are dozens of them on the farm._

The tears start dripping down my cheeks when the handle finally moves to the side and the gate swings open. Usually, the cows know that an open gate means fresh grass elsewhere on the plains and leave the pasture by themselves, but they're panic-stricken now and I don't have uncle Tom or Stetson and the dogs with me to guide them towards the only escape they have before they'll burn alive.

"Come on!", I scream at the cattle in frustration and anger and agony, even though my throat is so sore that it's probably not louder than a whisper.

When I swallow, I taste ash on my tongue. The fire has taken hold of the now empty paddock nearby, flames creep across the dry grass at an alarming speed. The injured calf on the ground tries to get up, but its hind legs are twisted and bloody and the fire swallows it up with a last, agonized cry. Only now, my body gives in once and for all and I break down, close my eyes and push my face into the dirt.

I'll die out here.

In a few minutes, the flames will reach me and burn me like they've burned the poor little calf. If the smoke doesn't choke me first, that is.

I just wish I could apologize to you. To Mom, to Gou, to Sosuke. To Lori and Russell and Sebastian. I haven't told any of them Goodbye. They'll hear from uncle Tom that I've died in a wildfire and ask themselves why they haven't stopped me from coming here. Sebastian will be devastated, he'll blame himself for taking me out here. He'll say that it's his fault, that he should've never given in to me.

The heat is getting unbearable. Sweat is pouring down my face but dries up fast enough to leave only a light layer of salt on my skin. I curl up a bit tighter and brace myself for the feeling of my clothes catching fire when suddenly, the ground shakes and a cloud of dust rises before me. There's a slam and then, a deep voice.

"Guard!"

Barking, the sound of two small animals - Pilgrim and Geronimo - dashing past my body.

"Get him off the ground before the dogs bring the cattle out!"

I whimper in pain when an arm is pushed under my legs and someone hoists me up, but being carried is much more bearable than walking on my own. A sudden, jerky movement from the person tells me that we're inside a car now. If the smoke and ash wouldn't choke me up so much, I would recognized who is holding me.

"What were you thinking, staying behind just for the cows? Why didn't you run from the fire?"

That's you. Oh holy shit, it's actually you.

"Don't leave me alone!", I sob into your sweaty neck. "Don't ever leave me alone again! Haru, don't leave me!"

You sit down, but your embrace never fades, you just keep holding me even closer.

"I never even planned to, you stupid idiot."

It's the first time you've insulted me, but somehow, it feels more like a pet name coming from your lips.

"Is he okay?"

Uncle Tom's voice is unexpectedly concerned and even though my thigh still hurts, I nod and close my eyes. Drowning in your scent is so easy. Drowning in your arms is even easier. How have I been living without you for so long?

"Yes. Drive back", you demand a little impatiently in your broken-ass English, but uncle Tom shakes his head.

"I oughta take the cattle down to the ranch. Take Rin and drive ahead. Do you understand? You drive back. You drive."

He repeats it and I feel you hesitate, but you seem to get what he means.

"Yes. Be carefully."

You stumble over the words, pronounce them wrong, but who the fuck cares? You leave my side, but not without a fleeting touch of your hand, to climb into the driver's seat and grab the steering wheel. The old pick-up truck whirls up red dust and dry grass as it starts moving, spins around almost on the spot and speeds off in the other direction - away from the fire. Being finally able to breathe something else than smoke and ashes, I suddenly start to cough. My chest cramps, again and again.

"Rin? Are you alright?"

I'm desperate to catch my breath. Impossible. My head is pounding, the pain seems to gnaw through every single nerve. If death is a feeling, this has got to be it.

"My... my leg. Something is wrong with my leg."

The inside of the car spins left and right and blurs and my body finally caves in completely to the exhaustion and pain. The last thing I know is that you tell me to stay awake when I obviously can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so much stuff planned ughhhh I want to upload a chapter everyday (ಢ_ಢ)
> 
> Thanks for reading, y'all~! Reviews appreciated like always~ (๑>ᴗ<๑)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MINOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

"... just a bruise that looks worse than it actually is and minor smoke poisoning. He must've been caught up in the smoke for a few minutes already. It's good that he was already lying down, there's no serious damage to his lungs or heart."

Someone audibly closes a book and clears their throat.

"When will he wake up?"

"... 'm wake alreay", I mumble hoarsely and blink into the blinding whiteness of the hospital room.

Two pairs of eyes turn towards me and I manage to sit up a little. My throat feels dry and raw, as if someone has been forcing a stick wrapped in sandpaper all the way into my lungs, but when I swallow a few times, it gets a little better.

"Ah, good. Sir Matsuoka is fully conscious and in good condition. A few hours to monitor his vital functions will suffice, then he'll be dismissed. All medications needed will be given intravenous, so just make sure to get lots of rest, drink whenever you feel like it and don't talk too much", the doctor advises and smiles at me, nudging his glasses a little. "And if you can manage to keep still for a few more hours, that'd be great. Good day, sir."

He shakes your hand, turns around and leaves the room with firm, quick steps. I don't even bother to look after him - my eyes are glued to you now, no matter what. A strange, sinking feeling fills my stomach.

"Why... why did you even come to help me?", I choke out as best as possible, but the second I ask, I know I shouldn't have.

Your sigh is so deep and exasperated that I actually shrink back a little.

"Would you rather I'd leave you to die everytime I'm remotely upset with you?"

"No!", I spit out embarrassedly. "S-Stupid, of course I'm glad you came! But... but after I was being such a jackass to you again... I figured you'd want to be with me even less."

For a few moments it's very quiet in the room with just us two, then you lean back in your chair.

"I know why you were running from me and I decided to let you realize on your own how wrong you were. I was not going to give up on you. I was going to follow you, no matter where, just to show you that I'm not as shallow as you believe me to be."

You must think I'm a complete fuck-up. You've never even spoken, have not even _hinted_ that you want to leave me, and I've gone to make assumptions, have left you with the chore to look for me all over Australia, have pushed you away when you've finally found me, and then I have endangered not only myself but also you because of my own stubborness and self-doubts. And all you've wanted to do all the time was show me that you still care, no matter what.

"Haru?", I mutter under my breath. "Can you... c-can you..."

My voice cracks, breaks, hitches in my throat. But you seem to be seized by the same craving and with a soft sound of acknowledgement, crawl onto the bed. Your arm wraps around my middle and I press up against you. My Alpha has come back for me. My Alpha is with me again. Before I can help it, I'm purring, deep and low in my body and you gently tuck your hand under my shirt in response, fingers trailing all the way down my spine while your other hand strokes my chest. It's not desire, it's just the lack of contact that drives us wild. I grab your arm and lean up to gently nip at your neck, your jaw, silently begging for you to lean down and kiss me, kiss me into oblivion and never wake me up from there.

Your lips settle on mine, gentle and soft, like never before. We've never shared such a tender kiss, I suddenly realize, we've been always driven by need, by the rush of pleasure that demands fast fulfillment, not slow, sweet caresses.

"I felt alone without you", you breathe against my wet, swollen lips.

That's what you say, but your scent tells me more than your words. It's the scent of late, sleepless nights, of dinner left on the table because there's no appetite to eat it, of watching TV without understanding a word, after all, of reading a book and having to go over the same page three times only to realize that it's still not making sense because you haven't been paying attention to the last twenty pages either, of getting out a sheet of paper and a pencil only to stare at it for a while and then putting it back again, of confusing anger that hits at times and makes everything annoying and aggravating.

It digs into my flesh like pins and needles, but I know that resent won't change anything. I've done what I've done and all I can do now is try and make it up to you.

"Missed you too", I mutter and tuck my face into your chest. "So much. And I'm sorry. So fucking sorry for everything I've put you through. I really don't deserve you."

My hands are trembling while I run them over your body, savour every edge and curve and realize that you're mine, that you belong to me and want to be with me, too. You're the most gorgeous Alpha and you're with me now, you've decided that you want to be with me. And suddenly, the urge to touch you turns into a dull, dragging ache in every part of my body. The kind you feel on Sunday morning when you wake up to your beautiful boyfriend watching you with hungry eyes. The kind of sleepy lust that's not at all focussed on getting off, more so on just feeling good.

"You can lock the doors here in the hospitals, you know?", I mutter, even though my cheeks flush at the foreign boldness of those words.

Sapphire blue clashes with crimson red when I look over at you, shifting my hips back, but your hand catches them and pulls me closer until your thigh is pushed up against my crotch. My blush deepens even further, but is it my fault? You're the one now literally inviting me in for the pleasure when you shift, causing the friction between us to spark.

"Not here. As soon as we're home", you suddenly promise and a low, disappointed whine escapes from me.

"But... but..."

"Rin. You're hurt and we haven't seen eachother in a week. We've been fighting and arguing. I don't feel like giving in to you now only to have you yell at me that I only want sex when you're mad at me next time. I don't want whatever is going on between us to be based on sex. It started out like that already, it doesn't have to continue like that as well. Let's... let's take it slow from now, okay?"

I know you're right, I know that I should rest and recover, I know that we're at a hospital and that our relationship is already tense as it is, but your body is so hot against mine, you can't possibly tell me that you're not feeling the same.

"Where... where is home from now on?", I mutter to distract myself from the hardness between my legs. "Are you... going to take me back to Japan?"

Shaking your head, you press your thigh even closer to my middle, teasing, torturing me with the best feeling ever to course through my veins.

"Your friend - Sebastian? - he told me where you are and that you don't want to go to college anymore, even though he organized a scholarship for you. I signed you up for it, anyway."

My eyes are closed and my lips parted, my chest heaves. The pleasure is getting unbearable, my body trembles. Your hand is still resting on my hips and just when I think I'll completely lose my shit and force you to fuck me right here, you pull back with such ease as if you're not breathing heavily too, as if your scent isn't promising a thousand sinful ways you'd do me if we were somewhere else right now.

"What... what does that mean for us?", I pant helplessly. "Will we even be living to... together?"

"We're going to live further south in the country, close to the college that offers you a scholarship", you mutter, your thumb lazily rubs across my bottom lip before you lean down for a slow, calming kiss. "I'm included in it. We're both going to study here, together. Sebastian says he's found an apartment for us. We just have to ask him for the adress and then we're ready to move there."

Your tongue gently toys with mine while one of your hands rakes through my hair. Once I can finally convince my lust-hazed body to break away from you, another concern springs to my mind.

"Haru... what about the fire? Uncle Tom? And the horses? Did Stetson come back to the ranch?", I ask and cold fear takes ahold of me.

"The fire's long since stopped. It started pouring minutes after we reached the farm. Your uncle is okay. The horses are alright too, and the cows as well. But..."

You stall a little, your eyes flicker unsurely and I know that whatever you're going to say, it won't be good. My heart clenches.

"One of the dogs... the black one... didn't make it. The cows ran him over. Your uncle came back, carrying him in his arms. It must've happened on the narrow path."

Geronimo... My jaw goes slack. Geronimo is dead. The puppy I've known since I've been thirteen. Winnie's brother, the dog I've been allowed to train myself. Uncle Tom has told me that he's mine now that I've come back to Australia. My dog is dead.

But instead of bursting into tears like I've almost expected myself to do, I just take a deep, shaky breath and bury my face against your shoulder. You carefully smooth out my hair, a calming gesture and I appreciate it, even though the thought of never seeing my beautiful, happy dog again still lingers in my mind.

"You should sleep. I'll make sure you don't accidentally rip the IV out of your arm, so just try to rest for a few hours."

You haven't even finished talking when my eyes start to grow heavy already. I really want to sleep. Sleep sounds good. Sleep sounds wonderful, if I'm being honest. Your warmth is reassuring and I can't remember ever feeling so relaxed during the past week. A soft purr emits from your chest and I feel you reaching for something on the chair next to the bed.

"I actually brought you something, too. It was meant for you from the beginning. Took me a while to find a place that still sold them, so far into the year already. But then I found the perfect one."

Rustling sounds, I hear you open a box and then, you tuck something behind my ear. The sweet scent of sakura blossoms is like a warm rush of memories of spring and laughter. I close my eyes completely.

"I'm happy you came for me", is all I can mutter before sinking into a dreamless, dark sleep.

\- - - - - -

The car ride is long and I'm still tired and bleary-eyed while you drive the winding road into the Australian outback, towards uncle Tom's farm. The first morning light is already rising above the red mountains before us and I lean against the car door, eyes staring into nothing. My thigh still hurts - they've given me painkillers and have told me that the bone is just bruised, but there's a dull throbbing deep in my flesh that won't fade. The radio is playing quietly.

_When we life such fragile lives_  
_It's the best way we survive_  
_I go around a time or two_  
_Just to waste my time with you_

"You know, we can just get your stuff and drive straight down to Victoria", you suggest quietly. "While you've been asleep, I've figured things out with Sebastian."

You pronounce his name a little weird, but in a strange way, it's cute.

"No", I mutter. "I have to see if uncle Tom still needs me."

With a soft sigh, you stop the car in front of the farm house and I slowly get out. Uncle Tom is standing on the porch, preparing one of the saddlebags for a long day out. He'll have to check out how much damage the fire has caused, if any of his cows are missing, how many have died in the flames. I swallow dry when I remember the screams of the calf that has been trampled by the herd. He looks up and nods at me when I limp towards him.

"Heya hotshot. Took a bad blow yesterday."

My mouth is stitched shut. I can't answer. He's panting as he tightens the belt that keeps the bag closed and throws it over his shoulder.

"Whatcha doin' here, anyway?" He marches over to the gate of the paddock and wipes a few raindrops from the leather of the saddle that's already put out on the fence. "I ain't gonna let ya ride out in your condish."

Durango, Stetson and Gypsie are standing in the light drizzling rain, heads low and ears put out to the side while Cayenne is slowly trotting towards uncle Tom now. I watch as he saddles him and dresses him up before also tying the saddle bag to his back and leading him outside.

"Where is Geronimo?", I eventually manage to whisper hoarsely, but uncle Tom avoids my gaze and insteads mounts the chestnut coloured stallion instead.

"I rather not have you look at him. Boy's a mess beyond recognition. Shoulda bury him soon", he mutters and grabs the reins. "Pilgrim!"

The young Australian shepherd trots towards him and waits patiently until Cayenne starts moving forward. I stare after them in angry despair.

"Uncle Tom!", I bellow as best as I can with my sore throat. "Where _is_ he?"

But I don't get an answer. He just rides off without another word. You have left the car as well, are now standing behind me. My fists tremble with silent rage when I turn around to look at you, but your face is of the same gentle compassion as uncle Tom's voice.

"Rin, maybe it really is better if we just leave. Get your stuff and come. We have a long drive to do and..."

_... and seeing him will upset you even more._

You don't say it, but I can see the thought going through your head. How can you all expect me to leave one of my friends behind without at least saying Goodbye? In my childish stubborness, I rush towards the barn where the dogs have always loved to sleep, but only Pilgrim's blanket is left here and it's empty.

"Rin, stop it. Let's just go", you plead again, but I don't listen, instead spin around and walk past you with firm steps.

I know where he is.

The old oak tree in the back of the small, abandoned paddock on the other side of the farm that has usually been meant for branding the horses, is dripping from tonight's storm and beneath it is a faded and worn blanket. My legs are shaking, but I force myself to walk towards it.

"Rin, don't hurt yourself even more."

You're still following me, but your presence is nothing but a blurry haze to me. All I see is the small, dark body on the blanket and only now do I notice that it's soaked with blood. The first sob breaks from my chest.

His eyes are still wide open, the same dark eyes that have given me the perfect puppy look for so many years, but now they're cold and glassy, his mouth is opened slightly. One of his ears is torn - an old injury from when he's fallen down the hill on a walk and I kneel down and gently run my hand over his head, all the way to the cut, like I've always done.

"N-No", I whisper, not even trying to stop the tears this time. "No, why... why d-didn't he look out for you? Why did you... did you have to c-come with h-him?"

My hand rests on the back of his neck, on the spot he's loved to have scratched by me ever since he's been a puppy, but his tail doesn't wag anymore when I gently curl my fingers into his dirty, wet fur this time. Trembling, I reach for the sakura blossoms you've woven into my hair and untangle it. Raindrops press the petite flowers down when I place them on the ground next to me.

"Good... good boy", I whisper, wrap my arms around his neck and pull him a little into my lap, my forehead pressed against his blood-smeared cheek as the tears keep dripping down my face. "You were such a good boy. I love you."

I stay like this for a long time, until your hand suddenly brushes my shoulder.

"Let's go, Rin."

Sniffing, I nod and slowly let him back down, place the sakura blossoms by his side and fold his old blanket over him. Just as I want to get back to my feet, the pain in my leg flaring up in protest at the strain, I notice a flash of creamy white from the corner of my eye and turn around. You follow my gaze and we both freeze.

Eldorado is standing on the other side of the fence, watching us, nervously pawing the ground. He must've found his way back to the farm after his escape from the fire. And suddenly, my grief is washed away by a wave of pure rage, hatred and anger.

"You", I growl under my breath. "You bastard."

Without saying anything else, I limp back to the house, always keeping an eye on him so he won't run off before I'm done with him. You walk next to me, concern clearly in your scent.

"What are you going to do?", you ask when I grab the small silver key from the window sill in the hallway and stalk over to the large closet, unlock it and take one of the rifles hanging there from its hook. "Rin, what are you doing?"

I don't answer, quietly load the gun and lift it to my shoulder before walking back outside and bringing it up, one hand beneath the barrel, finger on the trigger.

"I'm going to make sure this monster pays for what he's done", I spit out and aim at the golden horse that's grazing nervously across the yard. "Geronimo is dead because of him. I'm hurt because of him. He's going to fucking _pay."_

Suddenly, I'm calm and my gaze turns sharp and unfeeling. The instincts of a killer. With the prey in reach and the deadly weapon in my hand, I can kill with a heart like arctic ice. I've learned that dangerous animals need to be shot. I've shot bulls before that have been threatening to overrun the whole ranch. I've killed dingos and mountain lions and one time even a rattle snake with a clear shot to the middle. I have a good aim, uncle Tom has said. I'm a born hunter.

Eldorado, golden treasure.

This one is going to be my trophy. I'll mount his fucking head above our fireplace. He's going to pay for what he's done to Geronimo.

"He was worth more than you", I grit out. "He was worth ten times more than you, you monster!"

"Rin, put the gun down!"

Your scent is getting panicked, but I don't mind right now. My grip on the rifle tightens. Once your body has tasted the trigger, it won't rest until you've pulled it. Without a second thought, I take aim at the head of the golden horse.

The gunshot is deafening.

\- - - - - -

Wooden splinters are spread across the yard and we're both panting, me from pain and anger and you from shock. The bullets have slammed right through the porch railing when you've pushed the barrel down and away from Eldorado.

"Don't... don't ever, _ever_ do something like... like that again!", you hiss while grabbing the rifle from my hand. "Stop it, come to your senses!"

After throwing it onto the old bench behind you, you turn back to me, grab my arm and pull me closer against you, but your eyes bore into me until I'm squirming in your hold, trying to get away from you.

"Do you _understand,_ Rin?", you suddenly scream at me and I flinch back in fear.

You never yell. You hate yelling and being yelled at. Even when you're angry, you don't yell. It scares me to hear your voice so loud.

"Haru, Haru calm down!", I whisper meekly and lower my head when I notice you're shaking.

For a moment you just stare at me and then, the stoic masks shatters. You haven't looked angry or upset while screaming at me, but now, you're trembling like a child after a nightmare while your whole face shows nothing but anguish.

"You scared me! Don't ever do that to me again! When you took the gun I thought... I thought..."

Your jaw tightens, your shoulders shake, you turn to the side and close your eyes for a second and I finally understand. My arms slowly wrap around you, hands fisting your shirt as I bury my face against you and try to give you the same comfort you always give to me.

"No, no, don't think that", I whisper into your ear. "I would never kill myself. Not now, not when I have you. Don't worry, Haru, please, no, oh shit baby, no..."

My scent sweetens, softens, lulls you in and I feel your tense muscles relax into my embrace. The stench of fear and worry that surrounds you starts to fade out, although slowly.

"Let's go", I say quietly after you step back, breathing a little easier. "Let's go home, Haru."

\- - - - - -

"Were they mad at me for just disappearing? Mom and Gou, and Sosuke?", I ask, voice muffles by the sleeve of my jacket as I sit there, leaning against the window to stare out onto the highway.

"They weren't happy."

You speed the car up a little. We've been on the road for about seven hours now. One more to go. The surrounding areas are starting to spot more houses, more farms, more tiny villages. After such a long ride through absolutely nothing, it almost feels weird to see so many buildings.

"Samezuka said you had to do the final exams online", you continue with a glance at the navigation system. "They were pretty mad that you left a month before graduation, but everyone kinda was. Sosuke almost killed me when I showed up there to tell them all that you were in Australia now. Your mom cried and Gou started yelling. None of us could even reach you."

The sharp glance you throw me reminds me that my phone has been dead ever since I've been on the plane and I haven't even bothered to charge it yet. Groaning, I rub my face and close my eyes.

"... sorry. I know I should've at least called. I'll do that as soon as we're home."

You just nod without taking it further and we both go back to our own thoughts. Home. I wonder how it'll be. The university - Monash - is known all across Australia and I'm surprised such a good uni took us both in with full scholarship rights. The vast plains turn into the suburbs of a city and you have to consult the navi more often now to make sure we end up where we're supposed to be soon. Someone will be awaiting us, Sebastian has said, they'll show us our appartment and campus.

The road leads us along the beach now and I can see the ocean in the distance. You follow my gaze for a moment and I see the longing expression sneaking into your eyes that I know so well.

"What do you say we go for an official first date tonight?", I suggest with a hesitant smile. "If you even want to make this official, that is."

A short silence follows my words and my heart starts sinking already, when you turn to look at me for a second before focussing on the road ahead of you.

"I thought we already were official. We spent your heat together and I followed you all the way here. If I didn't want to be with you, I wouldn't have done all that."

An easy smile is tugging at your lips and if you haven't been driving, I would've tackled you back into your seat to show you how happy those simple words make me. You really want to be with me, you want to be my mate, my Alpha and my boyfriend.

"We're going to the beach", I decide with a short glance over at you, just to enjoy the sight of your face lighting up. "And I'll show you the best restaurant in town. You'll like it there, I promise. God, I haven't been swimming since the start of my heat."

A few beautiful, modern houses come into sight and I spot two figures standing in front of one of them, chatting amongst themselves. My eyes narrow slightly and I lean forward in my seat. Beanie, headphones, hoodie - one of those guys looks eerily familiar. When my gaze settles on the second man who's much taller, much more muscular, toying with a bunch of keys in his hand, laughing, there's no doubt anymore and before you've even stopped the car completely, I already bolt out the door and towards my two best friends.

"Danny, Eric!"

They look up and the suprise on their faces turns to complete and utter joy.

"Sharkrad!", Eric yells and catches me in his arms once I'm close enough. "Damn, what are you doing here? Are you following us? Holy shit, I was so worried when you broke down on Basti's doorstep! I just wanted to follow you guys when he came back outside and told us that you needed to rest and that we should just go home! And after that, you never responded to our calls and texts!"

Danny nods and this time, it's him who slowly, gently moves to place one hand on my shoulder.

"You gave is a pretty good scare. What happened to you? Why are you here in Melbourne all of a sudden?"

"I could ask you guys the same!", I laugh. "Sorry for making you worry, I just had a rough few days back then. We'll talk later, okay? But now shoot, what's up with you two here? We came because Basti told us we'd be seeing our new apartment today and get shown around campus for a while!"

Eric leans down a little, his eyes focussed on something behind me, and nudges my shoulder.

"Is _"we"_ the pretty Alpha there who looks like he's about to bite Danny's hand off if he doesn't stop touching you this instant?", he whispers and Danny quickly steps back, his gaze shifts to see who Eric is referring to and when I turn around as well, I notice the ice cold glow in your eyes I've never seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting a completely new school tomorrow and I'm so fucking scared someone kill me I don't even have my emotional support panda with me


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

You actually look dangerous when you stare at us like this, and your scent is different. More prominent, more off-putting. It's like you're trying to scare my friends away from me. This is going to escalate if I don't calm you down fast.

"Haru?", I ask carefully and step closer to you, switching back to Japanese. "What's wrong? Stop glaring daggers at Danny, he's just a good friend of mine. You're being ridiculous, what's-"

"He's an Alpha, Rin", you interrupt me with a low growl that seems to suprise you just as much as it surprises me. "I don't want... I don't _want_ him touching you!"

Danny? An Alpha?

I throw a glance over my shoulder and cautiously scent the air. Eric's sweet smell is easy to detect, he practically wears his Omega nature on his sleeve, but Danny... And that's when it hits me. Musky and strong, the scent of a pure-bred Alpha. And it's not your scent. How have I not noticed this before? How have I literally been talking to such a strong Alpha without noticing his scent?

"Hey, doesn't he speak English?", Eric suddenly chimes in and the trance Danny's scent has put over me slowly clears off. "Who is he, Rin? Your mate? Is that your Alpha?"

He eyes you curiously, from top to bottom and his gaze lingers on your toned chest, your shoulders and your face.

"Shit, he's ripped. Does he swim? Oh, oh, wait wait wait! Is that... is that Haru? Is that the guy you've been fawning over during middle school?"

He ruffles my hair, laughing, and I blush bright red while praying to all gods that might hear me right now that you don't understand enough English to get what he's saying.

"Y-Yeah well, you're right. Haru... he's... he is my Alpha", I finally stutter embarrassedly and you furrow your brows at me.

"Rin, what is he saying? Why is he staring at me like that?"

I notice that indeed, Eric's expression has turned quite smug. Obviously, he's taken a liking to you. But I know that he's just teasing. He would never actually try to get to you when he knows we're together.

"You still haven't told me what you two are doing here", I try to avoid your question and turn back to my friends.

Danny smiles and points at the keys in Eric's hand that he's playing with.

"The college secretary called us to say there were two newbies coming today and that we should go and meet them to show them their flat. She should've said who we were supposed to pick up."

My eyes widen.

"Wait... so that means you're going to Monash too?!"

Eric slams his hand against my shoulder and his laughter takes over on Danny as well.

"Jaaackpot! We're all going to be on the same university!", he yells. "And we'll even be neighbours! How cool, man! But now introduce us to that Alpha of yours."

I grin and drag you forward a little so you're not just standing behind me like some sort of bodyguard.

"Alright, Haru, meet my two best friends", I explain in Japanese. "Those are Danny and Eric. They're swimming too and they'll be attending the same university as we are."

Danny gives you a gentle smile, but his green eyes are suddenly ablaze. After all, you're two Alphas crashing into eachother with two Omegas close by. No wonder you're both riled up.

"Hi there, Haru", he greets. "Nice to finally meet you. Rin has spoken a lot about you."

I notice that he tries to keep his words easy, simple to understand, and you nod slowly in his direction while Eric just rolls his eyes and wraps one arm around your neck in the touchy-feely way that's just so _him._

"That's no way to greet a new pal, sweet cheeks. How're you doing, Haru? Came here for sharkrad, I guess? He's been going on and on about you since middle school. Haru here and Haru there, my inspiration, my shining, you should meet him one day, he swims like a dolphin, he has eyes clear as water, oh I love him so, I want him to just put a fucking ring on me!"

He exaggerates and you seem to realize, but as bad as your English may be, you get the hint and your gaze trails over to me while I desperately try to fight down the blush that's starting to creep onto my cheeks.

"Is that true?", you ask quietly in Japanese and it's that cold sensation again that raises the hair on my neck.

You want a honest answer, obviously, but using your Alpha voice because of shit like this? I grit my teeth a little, but how can I possibly refuse you when your whole being demands me to tell the truth?

"Y-Yes. Damn, yes, I was talking about you a lot", I finally spit out, mindlessly talking in English and Danny and Eric burst into laughter.

"See, he even admits it himself!", Eric teases and throws the bunch of keys in his hand up towards the sky before elegantly catching it again and waving it at me. "But now come on, you guys, I'll show you your new domicile."

He starts walking and Danny joins him with a smile back at us. I look over at you, still not daring to meet your gaze, fearing you might laugh at me, mock me for being so desperate that I even told my friends here all about you in middle school.

But instead of amused, you rather look thoughtful and as we follow them both up to one of the houses, I suddenly feel your hand lightly nudging mine and before I know it, our fingers are wrapped around eachother, taking me completely by surprise, but I'm not going to complain about you showing affection for once. Actually, it feels really good to just hold your hand.

"Here we are, your place for as long as university lets you keep the scholarship", Eric announces proudly and unlocks the front door.

I carefully eye the wooden steps leading up to it and scowl slightly before a thought jumps to my mind and I smirk. Danny takes one look at me and groans.

"What now?"

I lean over to you and cling even tighter to your hand.

"My leg hurts. Carry me up the stairs", I whine softly and bury my face in the crook of your neck.

"The doctor said it's nothing more than a bruise", you argue and back away a little with an unwilling hum. "You can walk by yourself just fine."

I grin. Thought you would escape me this easily? No, as long as my leg feels even remotely uncomfortable, I'm going to enjoy being pampered a little.

"You're legally required to carry me over the doorstep anyway, so go ahead and put those ridiculously hot muscles to work."

The small compliment makes your Alpha pride flare up, I notice it in your scent and your eyes instinctively wander over to Danny as if to check if he's heard that I've chosen you over him, that I want you, not him. And then you really wrap your arms around me and I grin at Eric who just shakes his head and laughs as you pick me up and carry me up the stairs, into the hallway of the first place we'll officially share.

"Okaeri, Rin", you whisper and, hidden from Danny and Eric's glances, capture my lips in a soft kiss.

After you've carefully set me down while making sure I don't put pressure on my leg too fast, we both look around in awe. It's great. The apartment is beautiful - spacious enough for almost three people, not just two. Everything is new and well-kept and as we wander around, I realize that this kind of western-styled interior is completely unknown to you. Especially the doors and the hardwood floor seems to confuse you to no end and I can't really suppress a chuckle.

"Do you like it?", I ask softly and you look over at me with a troubled expression.

"It's... different from home. I'll get used to it, I think."

Eric has followed us inside and flops down onto the couch with a grin.

"What are you two lovebirds talking about that can't be exchanged in English? Dirty stuff? Is he already telling you where he's gonna screw you?"

I growl and lunge myself at him, but he's probably expected that because he blocks the hit and we start a playfight in the living room while Danny just closes his eyes with a sigh before he walks over and grabs Eric by the scruff of his neck.

"Stop harrassing Rin, dumbass", he scolds and drags him away from me. "Just because your thoughts are always in the gutter doesn't mean other people have the same dirty mind as you."

I sit up, laughing, but almost choke on my own voice at Eric's next, pouty words.

"But... but you were the one who started telling me where you're going to take me as soon as we entered our flat! It's not fair that I get the dressing-down now!"

Danny freezes and I do too, stare at him while he stares back at me, both wide-eyed, hectically searching for words. Him to defend himself, me to ask if it's true. I know Eric has had a hopeless crush on Danny since grade school, but I've never thought... I've never actually-

"That's... that's not... not true!", Danny splutters hastily and his hand on Eric's neck trembles. "I'm just... just... we aren't... Rin, it's not..."

You watch us, confused and frustrated. I can only guess what it must look like to you. Suddenly, everyone is dead quiet and for a moment, Eric's face distorts with something like pain, then he straightens his back and sighs.

"I was joking, guys. Stop getting embarrassed so easily, sweet cheeks."

And he forces a grin that's so obviously fake that it almost hurts. I know he loves Danny, he's said it often enough when he's been drunk or high, the way he looks at him is enough for everyone to tell, the way he touches Danny whenever he gets the chance to - slipping his hand into the back pocket of his jeans when we're walking, wrapping one arm around his middle when we're at the bar, sleeping on his chest when we're at the beach, pulling him into his lap when we're having a barbecue at someone's house - but Danny has never reciprocated his feelings, or at least he's never said so while I have been here. He's just been enduring all of Eric's antics with a fond smile.

Are they... together? Now, that they're Alpha and Omega?

"Guys", I start hesitantly, "you know I'd be cool with that, right? You don't... you don't have to hide it from me if you're mated."

But Danny just shakes his head and steps away from Eric like the sudden closure has burned him.

"No, no, it's nothing like that", he mumbles, his face is beet red. "We just... since we live together now... when he goes into heat, I... we..."

He vaguely gestures towards Eric, who, in contrast to him, is paler than a ghost and I finally understand. It's common in Australia for an Alpha and an Omega to just pair up for heats and ruts and go their seperate ways after it's over.

"I just trust him", Eric suddenly mutters, gaze lowered to the floor. "He takes care of me. He doesn't hurt me. We're just fuckbuddies for a few days a month, that's it. Nothing else."

Those last two words hit me like bullets from the pain that's dripping from them. So he's somehow trying to satisfy his craving for Danny by spending his heat with him and pretending not to be in love for the rest of the time, I get that much.

"Rin, what's going on?", you suddenly interrupt the awkward silence and I look back over at you. "Why are you all so tense? Did they say something about us?"

I shake my head and slowly step over to your side. I feel sick to my stomach. How would it be if you pushed me away all the time except for when I'm in heat? How would it feel if I couldn't dare to walk up to you like that and wrap my arms around you? How would it be to sleep in different rooms, go out with friends, sit in class and always pretend that I don't even like you the way I do?

"Rin?"

Your voice is alarmed when I suddenly curl into your arms for comfort, but I just shake my head. I don't want to talk right now and immediately, you jump into Alpha mode - eyes fixed on my two best friends.

"It would be good if you go."

"S-Sure. See you guys later", Eric chokes out and places the keys on the coffee table before Danny ushers him out the front door and closes it behind them.

As soon as they're gone, you push me back a little, study my face and sigh softly.

"What kind of weird thoughts are you thinking again, Matsuoka?"

Your voice is so gentle and soft that I feel a rush of relaxation washing over me the instant you start talking.

"Nothing weird", I mutter back and coil my arm around your waist. "Just that it would be horrible if I had to hide my feelings for you."

Your hands slide down the small of my back, grab me firmly and the next thing I know is that I'm up against the nearest wall with you between my legs and your lips on mine. God, it feels like we haven't been this close for a whole eternity. When one of your hands slips under the hem of my shirt and starts rubbing circles into my chest, a soft moan escapes me. Who cares that Eric and Danny might hear me? I don't. No fucks given. I'd rather spend them on you.

And you seem to plan the same, because your teasing kisses turn greedy and lustful, your crotch presses up against mine and I can feel you getting harder by the second.

"And what kind of feelings are you talking about?", you breathe into my ear while your hand pushes up my shirt. "Tell me. What are you feeling? What do I mean to you?"

Before I can even form coherent words to answer the questions, your lips ghost over my chest while you pin my wrists to the wall behind me and don't let go until my neck, my collarbone and shoulders are littered with love bites and bruises, until I'm a shaking, sweating mess, grinding my hips against your for some kind of friction.

"I... Haru, I..."

That's all I can choke out, then you give a teasing suck to both of my nipples and I don't know if I want more or if I want you to stop teasing me. Slowly, hot slick is starting drip down my inner thighs and I feel my insides clenching. With a desperate whimper, I try to free my wrists to at least pull you closer, but right now, I'm more at your mercy than ever before.

With a shaky sigh, you drop your free hand down to my crotch and rub me through the fabric of my jeans. My faces flares up with embarrassment, but you just smile, a dark, lewd smile, one I've never seen on you before, not even during my heat.

"Rin, you're so beautiful. You're mine, you're my Omega."

The husky purr turns into a painful bite to my collarbone and I feel a single drop of blood slowly trailing down my chest, leaving a dark red trail all the way down to my abdomen. When you shift a little to pull my shirt off, you finally have to let go of my wrists and the second I'm rid of the distracting fabric, I wrap both arms around your neck and kiss you, as long as somehow possible.

"I love you, Haru!", I pant helplessly when you pull back a little after our chests start heaving. "I love you, I fucking love you, I love you, I love you!"

Every word is a kiss scattered over your face, your neck, your throat. And then your hands are pushing down my jeans and and I step out of them, slip off my sneakers at the same time. The heat your body is radiating seeps even through your clothes and I slowly start to unbutton the shirt you're wearing, kissing every single inch of exposed skin as I slide down your body. My hands are trembling once I've reached your belt and I leave a few hot, open-mouthed kisses on the bulge in your pants, eyes always trailing back up to you.

The moment we're both only in our shorts, you kneel down next to me and our lips collide, hard enough to bruise and bleed, while you pull me back up with you.

"Go find out where the bedroom is and wait there", you pant into the kiss. "I'll be with you in a second."

I pull back, dizzy and aching with desire, but I can't move. There's no way I can take even a single step away from you right now. You grab the messenger bag you've brought from the dresser close by, open it and rummage through its contents until you obviously find what you're looking for and open the door to our right.

"Perfect. Come on."

The bed is huge, overloaded with pillows and we slam down onto the mattress, kissing, hands desperately clawing at the other's body. My shorts are soaking wet and when you finally hook your thumbs into the elastic waistband, I nearly howl in relief.

"Haru, Haru, don't tease, don't... don't make me wait, Haru, please, please, Haru!"

You groan and I feel your lips between my legs, greedily sucking bruises into the soft, creamy white flesh of my inner thighs while you lick the wetness from my skin.

"Slowly, okay?", you finally mutter, moving back up while you shift closer to me. "Don't rush it."

Do you hear yourself talking? I'm even more desperate than during my heat and you're telling me to take it slow? My hand grabs your neck, fingertips digging into the sensitive spots on your nape and you grit your teeth at the sudden pain.

"Rin-"

"Listen", I gasp quietly, my eyes relentlessly searing into your own, "and listen good. You're going to fuck me right now, hard and fast. And you're not going to stop. You're not going to make me wait. Do you understand, Nanase?"

I don't get a verbal answer, but the one I get instead is much better anyway. Within the split of a second, you've gotten rid of your shorts and I hear the crinkling sound of a condom wrapper being torn open. My stomach suddenly feels hollow and weird, but I push the dark thoughts away that threaten to creep up on me.

"I love you too, Rin", I hear your voice above me and then, you push into me with ease.

My body is adjusting to you faster than I can even comprehend how much of your lenght I've already taken in. There's just the burning stretch, but no pain and I cry out in sheer pleasure, my whole body rears up. After that, I don't know anything but that our first night together after almost two weeks is one of the best I've ever had - and that you tell me you love me more often than you'd probably like to admit.

\- - - - - -

"How does your leg feel?"

We've just woken up to the first morning light seeping from the window and you're spooned up behind me, hand gently trailing up and down my side, careful to avoid the discoloured skin on my thigh.

"Mmn... not all too good", I mutter and grimace slightly.

This time, I'm not even trying to play it up for drama's sake. We must've gone to town pretty rough yesterday evening and now, I feel the full impact of it. You nuzzle my neck apologetically.

"Sorry. I should have been more gentle on you."

With an amused chuckle, I turn my head a little, enough to see the scowl on your face.

"I was the one who told you to do me, remember? If anything, it's my fault", I mutter and you lean forward to kiss me.

It's weird to see you so affectionate. For years, I've always known you as the stoic guy who'd slap anyone away who would try to touch him. Strangely enough, you've always endured me in your proximity. Whenever I've thrown an arm around you, you have looked annoyed, but you've never made any move to shake me off like you've done with everybody else, if I remember correctly.

The silky bedsheets are so warm and comfortable that I don't feel like getting up at all today. I want a lazy day in bed with you, not necessarily doing anything, just spending time with you. Being able to look at you. Chatting with you to hear about what's going on at home now that we're gone.

"Hey, Haru", I mutter into the pillow beneath me and you hum softly to signal that you're listening. "I meant it, you know. When... when I said I loved you. I haven't really ever said it during all of whatever it is we have going on, but when I said it yesterday, I meant it."

My cheeks are heating up again when I feel you freeze a little.

"Just... just because I wasn't sure at first what I was feeling towards you!", I quickly defend myself. "But now I know and I know that those feelings are definitely love. I love you, Haru. And I want to be with you for as long as we both can manage to stay together."

For a while, you just listen, then a soft sigh slips from your throat and I feel a gentle kiss to the back of my neck.

"I wasn't sure either, Rin. It all happened too fast for us to feel anything close to love. But now we're talking and spending time together and I want to stay with you as well. I love you too, Rin."

I close my eyes and nod slowly. You love me too. What have I done to get this lucky? How did I deserve someone like you in my life?

"Even..." I stall for a moment, hesitant to word my doubts, but I'll have to face them eventually, I know that. There's no changing reality, although it still hurts like shit. "Even if I can't have children?"

"Rin, we're both eighteen. Let's not think about children already", you mutter. "But yes, I'll want to be with you even if we can't have kids."

The words are spoken so full of confidence and sincerity that I shudder. You're too good for me. But my thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of your hips pressing up against mine and I groan softly.

"No Haru, not again, I can't. Later, maybe. H-Hey, are you even listening to me, i-idiot?"

You look up for a second, but your eyes are dark and hazy. God, our teachers were right in one aspect - you Alphas are insatiable. Okay, maybe I shouldn't talk big. I've been the one telling you to screw me yesterday.

_But he's been the one to start it!,_ a self-assured voice inside me chimes in and I grin weakly.

True also. Guess we're both just a little starved for eachother after ten days spent on separate continents. But my leg hurts and I feel exhausted, even after sleeping for so long and when you move to touch me further, I swat your hand away.

"I told you, I'm not in the mood right now. And if you don't back the fuck off now, I won't let you close for at least another week or so", I grumble under my breath and wrap one of the silky blankets around myself.

You sit up, almost pouting at me, but then you nod and I feel a triumphant purr rising into my throat. Good. For once, I have the upper hand. My smugness doesn't last long, though. Suddenly, there's the ringing of a bell and before one of us can even get up, someone barges into the apartment and the door to the bedroom opens.

"Mornin' sleepyheads!", Eric yells and pounces onto the bed. "How'd ya like your first night in Melbourne? Are you fucking ready to go check out campus?"

I laugh and wrap both arms around his neck, roughly messing up his hair.

"Didn't your mom teach you that you don't come in on a couple without knocking or you might get weirded out?", I tease. "Haru was just going to make me roll over for him again. Next time you barge in, don't blame me afterwards for what you see!"

Eric winks and leans up until our lips are almost touching.

"If it's you two hotties, I don't mind", he breathes and I smirk before slamming one hand into his face and shoving him back.

"Weirdo. Be careful or Haru might rip your head off. I'm taken now, remember?"

We have done this a hundred times before - back and forth and all around the other, teasing, taunting, mocking, provoking, pulling and pushing borders, but it's always been in good fun and I've really missed it. Danny slowly enters the bedroom as well and sighs apologetically while grabbing Eric's wrist and dragging him off the bed.

"Sorry Rin, Haru. He's been acting out all morning already. Come on Eric, leave them alone", he mutters, cheeks flushed at our friend's behaviour.

You're still quiet, fangs flashing when your lips twitch. Eric's sudden attack to your practically naked and injured Omega in bed must've really ticked you off, but all I can do is laugh. As if Eric and I would ever get it on. He's just happy that I'm back just as much as I am, he didn't really mean anything by it.

"Don't look so grumpy", I purr into your ear while Eric half-heartedly fights Danny to free himself of the Alpha's grip. "Eric is teasing! We've done this since we've all been kids, he's just a touchy guy and I don't mind the extra affection!"

"Obviously", you just say flatly and slip out of bed to get dressed.

"I'm... I'm very sorry", Danny sighs again and slaps Eric over the back of his head. "Stop it, freak! We'll make breakfast as an apology, okay? So, what do you guys want?"

Your gaze wanders over to him as if you're pondering the offer, then you nod.

"Saba."

Of course you wouldn't know the English word for mackerel. I giggle at the confused expression suddenly plastered across Danny's face while he furrows his brows, trying to figure out what exactly it is you're asking for.

"Excuse me...?", he asks cautiously.

"Mackerel", I chuckle breathlessly. "He means mackerel, Danny. Saba is the Japanese word for mackerel."

Eric and Danny stare at eachother for a moment, then they both look over to you and me and start laughing harder than I've ever heard them both laugh.

"Serious... seriously?", Eric finally pants. "He's still... still eating that? Man, you told us that shit in middle school and he didn't grow out of it until now?"

I shake my head and let myself fall back into the pillow mountain behind me with a soft groan. My leg is killing me.

"I guess you'll have to wait 'til tomorrow for a mackerel breakfast", Danny giggles while still trying to catch his breath. "We don't have mackerel here at the moment, but after we visit campus today, we can all go shopping together and see if we can get you some."

But your attention has long since turned back to me when it becomes obvious that something is definitely wrong. I don't even mean to worry you - I can't help it that my scent turns distressed when the searing pain in my leg changes from hot to cold to unbearable.

"Rin, are you alright?"

A hand brushes my face and I cling to you as soon as I sense you next to me.

"Give... give me the painkillers", I whisper with closed eyes. "The ones from my... ahh, f-fuck... from my bag."

"What are you two talking about?", I hear Danny ask in a concerned tone.

Without realizing, I've slipped back into talking Japanese. Your scent is irritated and insecure and it makes my heart skip a few beats. What's gotten into you?

"Come on, Haru", I whine again, shakily clawing at your arm. "Get me some of the... ngh... the fucking painkillers!"

Finally, even though visibly hesitant, you pull away from me and get up, but not without growling at Danny and Eric in the process, who immediately understand the warning - even without words. An Alpha protecting his Omega doesn't need to talk to signal everyone to fuck off.

"Let's go", Danny urges Eric quietly and tugs at his sleeve. "It's probably really better if we just start preparing breakfast in the meantime."

I watch them leave through a haze of pain and impatience when you walk out the door with them, only to return a few moments later with the pack of painkillers and a glass of water. The silky sheets are pooling around my hips when I manage to sit up, hands clawing at my thigh, even though the pressure makes the throbbing pain intensify further.

"Here, but don't take too many of them", you mutter before handing the pack to me along with the glass.

I grit my teeth and try to relax, even though the mere sight of medicine makes my body revolt in any way possible. I've always hated swallowing pills, but it seems inevitable this time. I can't possibly endure this pain all day long.

"Let me see."

Before I can possibly tell you to stop, you've carefully pulled the bedsheets off of my leg and inspect the bruise that's slowly turning from red and purple to an intense shade of black or blue. The slightest brush of your fingertips makes me whimper in pain.

"Doesn't look good. Maybe we'll have you checked out again", you muse worriedly while gently resting your hand on my knee. "I'm sorry. I'll be more gentle next time as long as you're hurt."

As much as I hate the injury, I really enjoy being treated like this by you. There's no better feeling than the innocent affection shining in your eyes when you look down at me and stroke my hair while I shiver from the discomfort of swallowing the painkillers.

It doesn't take long for the pills to kick in and I start to drift off again, buried in the stack of pillows beneath me, your warm body comfortingly close. When Eric and Danny return, I'm half asleep again, pain long forgotten.

"Hey, sharkrad", someone whispers and gently rubs my arm. "Wakey wakey, Rin. We brought you breakfast."

I push whoever is talking to me away, but they stay relentless until I finally blink, open my eyes and exhaustedly look up at Eric, who's sitting on the edge of the bed. They convince me to eat something, but after one or two slices of toast with bacon, my eyes slide shut again without me being able to do anything about it.


	13. Chapter 13

Your arm is wrapped around me when we leave the apartment to head towards campus. Not that I mind - my leg still feels a little weak and numb, and now and then the pain sparks back up again - but the people on the street give us a few strange looks. Two Japanese men, an Alpha and an Omega at that, accompanied by an Australian couple, the Omegas happily chatting and joking while the Alphas endure it patiently must indeed look weird.

"... and we have a large indoor swimming pool. Seriously, you guys need to check it out today. Oh, and we'll show you the fountain! We really like to hang out there after school. There's also a few really good bars around. Damn Rin, we need to take you partying tonight!", Eric rambles on as we walk and I throw you an amused glance when you perk up at the word _"swimming pool"._

"Where will we be going?", I ask with a grin. "You look like you have something in mind already."

Danny chuckles and nudges my side lightly.

"Where do we always go when we're in Melbourne? Remember the summer we spent here in eight grade?"

Boy, do I. We've been drunk nonstop, just being the typical teenage rebels, but I remember enough to know that it's been magical six weeks. We've snuck into a club every evening with Sebastian's help - he's been the seemingly responsible adult Lori and Russell have trusted enough to take me on a summer vacation. Little have they known what kind of entertainment we've been provided with.

"We're going to Kittens!", I blurt out in anticipation and Eric laughs.

"Hell yes we are!"

We've spent hours watching the pretty girls and guys dance on their tables, we've all gotten drunk and high at the counter there and more than once has Sebastian had to drag us out of the club because we've literally been drinking ourself into oblivion. It will be really great to get all those memories back as a real adult now.

"We're going where?", you ask in Japanese and I turn to you, face heated with excitement.

"A club called Kittens. It's the most amazing club in all Melbourne. We spent a summer here where Sebastian allowed us to go completely wild and we ended up there every night. You'll like it, I promise!"

You turn away, a little hesitant. I know you're usually not the type to go partying - but you managed to go to the party we've met at, you'll manage one night out with me and the boys. We pass the large front gate and walk onto campus - it's gorgeous here. The university is huge, in walking distance to our appartments. We'll get here every morning by foot. What a nice opportunity to start the day together. While Eric and Danny show us around, pointing out everything important, I see that you're starting to fidget slightly when we approach the large building at the other end of campus.

"Beware, you both", Danny exclaims while grabbing the golden handle of the blue-stained glass door with a wide smile. "Are you ready to see what world class swimmers train like at Monash?"

All alarm bells in my head go off, but it's too late.

"Danny, wait a mo-"

The second he slams the door open, your eyes widen like the ones of a kid on Christmas and the only thing I get ahold of is the sleeve of your shirt when you're already on your way towards the pool.

"... ment", I finish my sentence with a sigh as I watch you dive into the water, smooth like always.

Eric and Danny stare after you, slack-jawed.

"I tried to warn you."

I shrug weakly and grab your clothes from the floor. How you do it, I still don't know. No other human being I know can strip off a shirt, a pair of shoes, socks and jeans so fast. But maybe you're not completely human after all, I think when I see you move through the water like you've never done anything else. How can someone possibly swim like this? You must be part seal or dolphin.

"Look Eric", Danny teases. "That will be your challenge this year. His freestyle is wonderful, Rin. Does he still swim competitions? He's gotta be so fast."

All coaches nearby have turned to you at the sudden splash of water and everybody, even a few of the swimmers, turns to watch you with interest as you complete the lap and enter the turn. You don't have the strongest kick, I know that. Even I can easily shake you off in the first underwater phase, but you know exactly when to break out your real power. When to give everything and leave the others behind by sheer knowledge of when exactly the water will part enough to make you faster and let you get ahead of every single one of your rivals. What you lack in strenght, you easily make up with strategy.

And everybody who's currently watching sees that. The coaches flock together on one side of the pool, whispering agitatedly while always pointing and glaring over at you. You've just surfaced again and I step over to the edge of the pool, crouch down and grin.

"Happy now, little mermaid?"

You scowl at the nickname, but you can't look angry when you're submerged in water. Something about it just always makes you seem so relaxed and at ease that it's almost ridiculous.

"Maybe I should start carrying a bottle of water with me that I can empty over your head when you start growling at other Alphas so you'll calm down?", I tease a little more until you grab my wrist and jerk me forward and if it hadn't been for Danny's lightning fast reflexes, I would've ended up with you in the pool fully clothed.

"Don't make fun of me."

That's all you say before you turn around and dive under again. I shake my head and get back up, looking down at Danny with a laugh.

"Thanks. He can be a real pain in the ass."

"I noticed", Danny retorts, sharp as ever. "Is that why you're limping today?"

My cheeks turn bright red, even though I know I have no reason to be embarrassed. Of course they know what we've been doing yesterday night. Either they've heard us (rather, have heard _me)_ or they've figured what has been going on when they've barged in on us this morning.

"To your information, I got kicked by Stetson when she ran off after Eldorado bit her", I hiss back at him. "That's why I was half unconscious from pain this morning."

Pulling up my shorts enough to expose the discoloured skin on my thigh, I prove my point and Danny whistles through his teeth.

"Whoa. You can still walk with that thing?"

Eric steps up behind him and wraps both arms around his waist. He's always extra touchy around Danny, but the latter never seems to mind and just continues whatever he's doing.

"We Omegas can handle more than you guys think we can", he purrs almost seductively, but I recognize the playful hint in his voice and Danny crosses his arms.

"Yeah, I figured. Hey Rin, looks like someone wants to talk to you."

One of the coaches comes marching towards us, rests one hand on his hips and smiles.

"Hello there", he greets. "We noticed you four walking in and thought we'd stop by to ask a few questions. 'S that your friend there?"

He points at you and I nod, a strange sense of pride makes my chest swell.

"Yeah, he's my boyfriend, Haru."

Boyfriend.

God, that word tastes so delicious on my tongue. I can really say that. So many gorgeous Omegas on this planet and I'm the only one allowed to call you that - my boyfriend.

"He's talented. A good swimmer", the trainer adds casually. "Is he... going to attend Monash?"

"We're both going to start university here, yes. And we'll join the swimteam. We want to make it to world stage", I explain with a grin and the man nods approvingly.

I see him exchanging a look with the other coaches who watch him from afar, then he reaches out his hand.

"Glad to know you, then. What do you specialize in? Mm, wait, don't say anything."

After I shake his hand, he rounds me a few times, gently runs his palm over my shoulders and arms, examines my legs and finally smirks at me.

"Butterfly, or backstroke, right? Your shoulders are too flexible and trained for breaststroke. Your kick is probably your strenght, but you have enough power saved up to get even through 200 m races without slowing down. That's another forté of yours, right? When your opponents start getting tired, you can keep your pace."

"Jackpot", I respond with a laugh. "My name is Rin. I swim butterfly and freestyle. Mostly freestyle for the individual races and butterfly in the relay. That way, I can always swim with Haru."

My gaze wanders over to you and the next time you surface, you look back at me and the coach who is now excitedly questioning me about our career up until now. When I tell him that I've never been competing against Alphas until now because Samezuka only lets us go to secluded Omega races, he curses in anger, muttering something about _"damn medieval society"_ and promises that he'll let me show what I've got as soon as our first practice with the official swim team starts.

"Of course you can come by before that, too", he offers with a warm smile. "We'll be happy to coach you individually for a few hours."

"Thanks. Much appreciated", I answer and I really mean it.

He's actually nice and pleasant to talk to - not at all like what I'm used to from my time in Japan.

"Great! By the way, my name is Mike", he introduces himself with a chuckle. "Didn't even give you my name, sorry. But let me ask... aren't you the guy Basti signed up for a scholarship?"

I perk up. He knows Sebastian?

"Uh, yeah?"

Mike grins.

"Then you'll be happy to hear that he's coming to live here for the year. He and his two girls. He said he wanted to keep an eye on you and your Alpha because he's worried - but how I see it, you can defend yourself pretty well."

Sebastian is coming to live here? Because of you and me staying together? My eyes widen and Eric laughs at me.

"Looks like good ol' Basti can't stop fussing over you! Haha, Rin is getting a babysitter! I bet he's going to sneak into your apartment like an overly concerned mom at night to make sure Haru doesn't screw you too hard!"

Scowling, I pinch his cheek and shove him back.

"Shut up, nerd! I like to be screwed by my Alpha, no matter how hard!"

The boldness of my own words surprises me, but whatever. It's not like someone is going to think strange of me for saying stuff like that. I know couples who've been openly shagging at school during breaktime in eight grade, nobody will look at me funny for talking like that at eighteen. And after all - judging from how you stare at me from across the pool - we're going to be one of those couples too.

\- - - - - -

It's dark already when we walk up to the club and the night air is filled with the yells, laughter and talk of the people around us. Danny, Eric and I are completely in our element while you still look a little uncomfortable once the flashing neon sign of the club becomes visible, but you don't say anything and I make a mental note to somehow pay you back for coming along tonight.

"Eyyy, boys!", a familiar voice screams when we enter the dimly lit club.

Spotlights are dancing only across the stages where a few girls and guys are already starting to attract their first customers for the night and I suck in the scent of alcohol and perfume that always fills the place.

"Dario!", Eric yells back and bounces over to the bar to exchange a tight hug with the bartender. "Look who we brought along this time!"

He grabs my arm and drags me forward. I crash against the edge of the dark counter when Dario wraps one arm around my neck too and roughly pats my shoulder

"Hey Rin, long time no see! Missed you quite badly, everyone was sad when you never returned!"

I laugh and shove him back, lightly boxing his upper arm while he grins at me, his piercings are flashing in the golden light that illuminates the shelf of bottles above the bar.

"Because you went bankrupt after I stopped emptying your liquor stash every evening?", I tease and we all laugh.

"Also but not only." Dario winks. "First round's on me tonight, as a welcome back gift."

And he breaks out an expensive bottle of Sullivans Cove, gets three glasses onto the counter - when his eyes suddenly land on you and he tenses up a little.

"Rin...?", he whispers with a sultry smirk. "Is that your boyfriend over there? The hot guy in black?"

Goddamn it, is it really this obvious that we're together? Before I can answer, though, Dario shakes his head and fills the glasses with ice cubes.

"Don't look so suprised. His scent is literally all over you and vice versa, it's impossible to say who's been rubbing himself all over the other. Does he speak English?"

I nod in surrender. That's probably it. He waves you closer and puts out a glass for you too.

"Hi there. So you're the one who hit it off with Rin?", Dario asks while pushing the drinks towards us. "Lucky you. Half of the people who come here have tried to seduce him, but he always refused. Never more than a little teasing."

You stare at him for a moment, obviously going over his words to understand them better, then you just nod and grab your glass.

"Rin belongs with me now."

The tone you're talking in leaves no space for arguments and Dario laughs at you before turning to a few other customers who've settled down by the bar next to us. I swing myself onto one of the chairs and wrap one arm around your shoulders while you keep standing close by my side, drink untouched in your hand.

"Seriously, try it", I chuckle and lift my own glass up. "It's the best whiskey they have around here, I promise."

After I've downed the shot, I look back at you, but you just nip carefully at the amber liquid and don't meet my gaze.

"Are you suuuulking?", I sing into your ear before pulling you closer and running one fingertip down your chest. "Come on, let's go dance!"

I jump back to my feet and want to drag you with me, but you free yourself from my grip and shake your head unwillingly.

"I'm not dancing. Go alone."

Shrugging, I grin at Eric and bow down before him, reaching out my hand.

"Would you do me the honour, then, sire?", I ask in the best British accent I can somehow manage and he takes my hand, giggling like a little girl.

"Of course, let's fucking go!"

And with that, I'm being whisked off to the dancefloor. The pulsing lights are brighter than I remember them to be. Blue light dances across Eric's face, switches to green and purple and back again until I'm not sure how to tell the floor and ceiling apart anymore. Around us, the crowd is swaying, making it hard to get through all the dancing people. Some people look over to watch us greedily when we start rocking our hips to the beat, Eric's hand on my waist, mine on his arm. The music fights to take over my pulse, my breath, my movements, until my entire being moves rhythmically to every thundering bass that shakes the room. Hungry eyes wander over my body, my face, but right now, I belong to Eric. He turns in my grip, teases and taunts me closer. I crane my neck, tilt my head to the side and smirk.

"Don't make Haru angry."

His hand rides low on my still swinging hips now as he sneaks it into the waistband of my shorts.

"I'm not scared of him", Eric shoots back with a husky laugh and I flip my hair out of the way, lift both hands above my head and invite him in to place his other hand on my waist too.

"He's not nearly as nice as everyone thinks he is", I pant, still grinning. "He can be an animal. You've never seen him go Alpha. You've never seen his eyes turn almost black with desire. I bet you wouldn't be able to stand a chance against him if he towered over you on the bed."

My last words are breathed right into Eric's ear and he shudders when I pull back again. Suddenly, someone grabs my hand from the side, twists me around and I let myself be dragged into another fierce dance. A short look back at Eric tells me that Danny has taken my place anyway. He's probably just been waiting for me to wander off so he can get to Eric. As much as he sometimes gets annoyed at him - he can't deny that he cares. The girl before me lets me lead, follows my every move, her long, silky hair slipping over my arms as I run one hand down from her shoulder to her rounded hips. She's pretty, not one of the typical teenage nyphomanicas, more so an ordinary girl enjoying a night out. Chocolate brown hair, stylish clothes, nice face. Our bodies move fluidly against the other, she twists in my arms and presses her back against my chest.

No eye contact definitely has its perks.

My gaze wanders over to you, but you're busy staring into your drink. Even from here, I can see the glinting drops of water on your fingers from where the ice cubes have melted. I wish we'd be at home where I could walk over, take your hand and run my tongue over it until you decide that it's enough teasing, but for now, dancing satisfies my desire enough. Maybe later tonight. The song fades out and the girl turns to look up at me, breathing heavily. My lips find her neck and she shivers.

Her skin tastes slightly salty and bitter, but there's a sugary sweetness beneath all that, making up for it quite perfectly.

"You know her? Is she your friend or what?", Eric asks into my ear when I wander back over to him after the dance and I grin.

"A particularly talented dancer."

The next song is faster, dirtier. Eric's grip on my shoulder turns into a fast, demanding twist of my arm until I'm pressed flush against him. The taste of mint and salt lingers on my hips, sweat drips down my back and neck.

I end up by the bar and stumble into your arms, laughing. You push a glass towards me and I pour the cold drink down my throat too fast to taste more than a hint of liquorice and almond, maybe.

"Stay here."

When I want to join Danny and Eric on the dancefloor again, you keep me back and compliance comes easily. The music blasts and I grind my hips against yours to the beat. Our lips meet, hot and dangerous. You really are an animal. You taste like fire. I let you litter my jaw and throat with bruises and moan softly.

"You looked like you were having fun", you suddenly pant against my skin and I rake one hand through your hair.

"Haven't you learned to share?"

You pull me into your lap and I feel your rough, open-mouthed bites turn into gentle kisses.

"You're my boyfriend. And I don't plan to share you."

I smile, my hand slowly cups your cheek while I adjust my position above you and tilt your head up slightly.

"I'm joking, stupid. Come here."

Crossing my arms behind your neck, I lean down and press my lips against yours while your hands settle on my waist. I feel your thumb rubbing circles into the skin drawn taut over my hipbones and purr softly in response. Your gentle touch is almost lulling me to sleep. I'm tired from today, from our tour around campus, from the shopping trip through the city in the afternoon, from the pain in my leg that's effectively silenced by alcohol and painkillers for now.

"Let's go", you whisper and carefully push me back. "You need to rest."

As if to underline your words, my thigh cramps slightly and I drop my head against your shoulder.

"Yeah, alright. You can take me home."

\- - - - - -

While you prepare late dinner, I crash on the couch and grab my phone that I've put down to charge while we've been out. It's still only midnight and as soon as I switch my phone, the messages won't stop pouring in. Flinching back in surprise, I watch as my lock screen is starting to get overloaded with missed calls, messages, notifications on Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, basically every single app allowing people to send me messages is spotting red badges with counts over 300.

Of course it's Mom, Gou, Sosuke, but there's also calls and messages from Ai and Momo. I carefully open my messenger app and go through all the texts they've sent me over the past two weeks. Mostly it's just questions as to where I am, if I'm with Russell and Lori, if I'm alright, why I'm not answering, who's with me, if I'm alone, but Sosuke has sent me quite some rants about how he's going to beat me up for simply disappearing.

Lori and Russell have contacted me quite a few times too, asking if it's true that I'm back in Australia, why I'm not stopping by, if I'm mad at them. I feel a sharp stinging in my chest. Damn, I should've really checked in with them back in Sydney. There are a few calls from Sebastian too, from Liv and Wendy. But I have to sort out priorities now. The first person I call is Mom. She picks up immediately and I close my eyes when she takes a deep breath.

"Rin, why have you gone back to Australia without saying a single word to anyone? Why haven't you told me? Why haven't you said Goodbye, at least? What about your school? Your graduation? Your college plans? What made you go back all of a sudden? Are you alright? Is Haruka-kun with you now? When he came here and told me you were back in Australia now, I nearly got a heart attack! Why have you been meeting with an Alpha? Has he been treating you good? What is even going on between you and him?"

It's a miracle that she has gotten all that out without stopping once. I lean back on the couch and you look over from the kitchen when I groan and rub my face with one hand.

"Listen Mom, I'm sorry, okay? I'm very sorry, I know I should've told you. I've made so many mistakes and I'm sorry, but I'm alright now. Yeah, Haru is with me. Mom, he's an Alpha, but he's not like they told us Alphas are. He actually cares about me. He even moved from Japan to Australia for me. And he says he wants to stay with me now. He's... he's my boyfriend, Mom. I love him, and he loves me. He's a good guy. Don't worry about that. Sorry for leaving Samezuka all of a sudden, but I'll do the exams online and graduate from here, I promise. And Sebastian has gotten a scholarship for me here in Australia. I'm going to Monash now, an university in Melbourne. Please, don't be mad. I promise we'll visit during Christmas break."

She sighs and I can almost physically feel her relief.

"Just as hot-headed and stubborn as your father. Rin, you're not mated to Haruka-kun, are you? He didn't force you to go anywhere, right?"

Shaking my head slowly, I glance at you with a light smile. If anything, I have forced _you_ to come here.

"No", I respond. "We're not mated. And he didn't force me to do anything. First of all, I agreed to everything we've ever done and second of all, I... I came here because I was being stupid and unreasonable. He just followed me. And I think, we'll be happy here. Sorry, Mom. Sorry for everything. Tell Gou I'm sorry too. I'll call Sosuke soon to talk to him as well."

She proceeds to scold me for a few more minutes before going back to asking me about how we're doing, where we're living now, if we'll need money or anything from her, what we'll do now and if we're really going to stay in Australia for good. We chat for a while and after assuring her that everything is indeed fine, she's finally calmed down enough to ask why I'm calling this late. I quickly brush it off by saying that my phone has been slow to charge after two weeks of not being used and she's content with that. I better not tell her that I'm barely half a month away from home and drinking again already.

"Are you coming?"

Your voice from the doorway makes me lift my head and Mom perks up too.

"Was that Haruka-kun?", she asks curiously. "What is he calling you for?"

I grin.

"Midnight snack. We came home pretty late today, had to go shopping and visit campus and all that. I'll call you tomorrow, okay? Goodnight!"

Putting down my phone, I slowly get up and walk over to the kitchen where you're waiting for me already. Midnight snack turns out to be a whole meal and when we sit down by the table, I notice you scowling slightly.

"We need a kontatsu. And a chabudai."

I chuckle with a tender look at you.

"Sure. I'd actually love having something like that here too. Maybe we can order everything we need online once I've gotten a job. The table and chairs can be turned into a desk or something. Even though doing homework on a kontatsu during a rainy day sounds great."

My phone rings again in my pocket and I pull it out with an apologetic shrug at you. It's Sosuke. Shit. I almost don't dare to take the call, but when I do, I feel like I might go deaf any second.

"I can _see_ that you've read my messages now, dumbass!", his voice rings in my ear at full volume. "Why didn't you call me back? Holy shit, we all thought you were dead! Makoto has been up for days on end after Nanase told him he's going after you! What the hell has gotten into you two, suddenly moving to Australia like that?"

Your head jerks up and while you listen intently, I pinch the bridge of my nose with a low sigh.

"Listen, Sosuke, sorry for making you worry. I'll explain it to you some other time. Is Makoto with you right now? Haru is staring at me like he'll jump through the phone any second."

Before Sosuke can answer, I hear a second voice in the background.

"Haru? What about Haru? Sosuke, are you talking to Haru?"

I giggle and hand you the phone. You cling to it so hard that your knuckles stand out white as you lift it to your ear.

"Makoto?"

Obviously, Sosuke has lost his phone to Makoto too because your best friend's voice is now the prominent one echoing through the speaker.

"Haru! Thank God! You haven't called me at all since the one time when all you've said was that nobody in Australia can tell you where Rin is! You found him? Are you both alright?"

I shrink down into my chair and avert my gaze. Looks like I worried everyone to death back home with my selfish escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are lazy on the reviews lately, aren't ya. I don't know if any of you still readin' but yah here's ur new chapter.


	14. Chapter 14

We settle in quickly.

Melbourne is fun to be at, and while I take you out on our first few dates to the beach, to dinner in town and to walks by the seaside, I graduate from Samezuka with flying colours and the start of our first semester at Monash approaches far too quickly. When I wake up from the alarm going off one day and glance over at the calendar, I notice that it's the 10th September already.

We'll be starting class today.

"Haru!", I mutter, still a little sleepy while I shake your shoulder. "Haru, get up! We have to be at school soon!"

Grumbling, you bury yourself deeper in the sheets and your messy mop of inky black hair disappears between two of the large pillows.

"Can't be. It's barely September yet."

Snorting, I roll over until I'm half on top of you. My eyes slide shut again and I yawn, snuggle up to your body. I could honestly stay in bed with you all day. Your skin is always comfortingly warm, no matter where we are or under what circumstances. Is that an Alpha thing? Some kind of built-in heater to attract Omegas and make them cuddle with you?

"Stupid, it's time for school, that's what it is. And now get up. We only have a bit of time left before we need to dress up and leave. I'll go for a run by the beach, so decide if you want to come with me or take a bath instead."

This time, you turn around and make me get off of you in the process. Your eyes are cracked open only a tiny bit and you close them again immediately.

"Bath. See you later. Take care", you mumble into the sleeve of your sleeping shirt and pull the covers over your shoulders even further.

I can't fight the tiny spark of disappointment, but what have I been expecting? If it's me or water, it'll probably always be water. I grab my tracksuit, running shoes and headphones from their usual place in the closet and my eyes fall upon a strange construction in the back of it. Frowning, I reach out one hand to check it out, but when I do, my watch flashes six thirty already and I quickly slip into the bathroom before you claim it for your morning soak, deciding to check the closet out later. After brushing my teeth and getting dressed, I decide that breakfast can wait today, pull my headphones on and walk towards the front door.

"Be back in a few!", I yell into the bedroom and slip outside.

Relatively cool, refreshing air greets me and I stretch with another yawn.

"Morning Rin. Mind if I join you?"

Danny is slowly padding down the stairs that lead to their apartment above ours and I smile at him. He's asking that every single fucking morning, as if he doesn't know my answer already.

"Not at all. Let's go!"

We head off at an easy pace, cross the road and run all the way down to the beach. For a while, we just stay silent, both lost in thought, but then he looks up at me with a grin.

"Excited for today?"

I lick my lips and shake my head slightly.

"Not really, no. I'm just concerned if Haru will get through his day without problems. His English has improved a bunch since we've come here, but he still has troubles getting out full sentences", I explain to him as we slowly increase the pace.

"Well, why didn't you choose the same classes?", Danny asks as he looks down at his smartwatch. "That would make it easier for him and worry you less."

My nose crinkles slightly at the thought. Yeah, that would've been possible, but...

"Nah. We have completely different interests. He chose home economics, the easy English courses and a few art classes. I'm in the higher ups. Maths and social studies and stuff, y'know."

Danny nods thoughtfully and we continue our run down the beach for a while before he motions me to stop.

"Actually, I think Haru and Eric will have some classes together if he's chosen home economics, and I have art classes too. If we want to be home in time for breakfast, we have to hurry now."

He's right, we've gone farther than usual. After a short break by the shore, we return to the apartments and once we're up the stairs, the scent of freshly brewed coffee lures us into our flat. Eric is leaning against the kitchen counter, a cup in his hand.

"... which basically means you should really eat more than they say you should", he ends and takes a sip of his drink. "Oh, morning guys."

I snatch the cup from his hand and empty it in one go. It's good - strong enough to wake me up completely. Eric slaps me over the head with a sigh and grabs his mug back.

"That was mine! I actually brought you some too when Haru told me you guys usually don't drink coffee in the morning. Here. Seriously, how do you survive without a coffee machine?"

He reaches over, takes another cup from the counter and hands it to me. I hum appreciatingly and start sipping at it. You're on the other side of the kitchen, currently grilling mackerel and making some toast. While Eric slings one arm around Danny and pulls him closer with a laugh, I stalk over to you and kiss your neck. Jammer and apron - should've guessed that.

"Mm... awake now?"

You just scoff at me and push me back.

"Go shower. You're sweaty."

I really am, I notice. The sun isn't fully up but it's already warm outside. But before I leave, I put the cup down on the counter next to you.

"Here, drink the rest. Maybe that will put you in a better mood until I'm back", I chuckle and slip out of the kitchen.

Danny excuses himself too, he wants to take a shower before school as well. I walk over to the bathroom, only to remember that I haven't put out my school uniform. But everything is already laid out neatly on the laundry basket for me and I smile.

"Thanks Haru!", I yell out the bathroom door before quickly stripping off my clothes and slipping under the shower.

The cold water feels good on my heated skin, but I still jump a little when it starts gushing down on me. Then I just rinse myself off and wash my hair as fast as possible. We really need to get going soon. It takes a while until I'm fully dressed, though, but I have to say - the school uniform is great. Grey slacks, white button-up and a navy blue blazer. After straightening everything out, I walk back into the kitchen, only to find you perfectly dressed too already and my mouth turns dry.

You look absolutely gorgeous in the uniform.

It brings out your narrow waist and your eyes especially. I think I'll make you wear dress shirts more often, too... Eric whistles when he sees me coming into the kitchen.

"Whoa, the uniform makes you two look like real business men. That reminds me, I gotta get dressed too. See you at school, guys!"

With that, he jumps from the kitchen counter and leaves our apartment to go upstairs. The second he's out the front door, I wrap one arm around your middle and tug you closer against me while teasingly pressing my lips to your jaw.

"Hm... you look sexy like this, Haru."

"You'll wrinkle the clothes, stop it."

The reaction is harsh and sharp and I jolt when your claws suddenly dig into my shoulder. You rarely get annoyed by my touchy behaviour, but when you do, I know to keep my distance. Even so, I can't help but scowl. Sure, you're not always in the mood and I get that - it's the same for me, actually, there are days when I can't get enough of you, and be it just a simple hug, and sometimes I could punch you just for breathing in my direction - but you usually warn me before going over to biting or scratching.

"Haru...?"

And that's when I notice it. Your scent is a mess of emotions, mostly stress and fear, and it tastes disgusting. Of course you'd push me away if you feel like this. Your face doesn't show anything of it, but your scent really gives you away this time.

"Hey baby", I mutter softly and shift a little closer again, careful not to touch you but rather to offer the comfort of my presence. "What's wrong? Are you nervous because of today? You really don't have to. You'll do great, I know it. Your English has gotten so much better and I'll stay with you for as long as possible. Eric and Danny will be in some of your classes too, so you won't be all alone either."

You stare down at your hands, not saying a word, and I notice that you're shaking a little. Memories from my first day in middle school here in Australia come flooding back to me and I remember how much I've cried the night before, on the phone with Mom, sobbing to her that I couldn't go, that I couldn't do it, that everybody would laugh at me, that I wanted to go home to her.

"Haru", I hum softly and this time, you actually turn over and sink into my embrace while I close my eyes and kiss your cheek. "Don't be afraid. Nobody is going to give you shit for anything, the teachers know that you're not that long in Australia yet. Everything will be alright. If you need anything, call me. You have my number. Even if it's during class, just give me a call or shoot me a message, okay?"

You nod, slowly, though, like you're doubting my words. With a loving purr, I release you from my arms and you take a deep breath before looking at me with the corners of your lips curling into the weakest smile.

"Okay. Let's go, we'll be late."

\- - - - - -

We attend the opening ceremony together. The headmaster welcomes us all to Monash, tells us to do our best and to study hard to graduate with the best possible grade. He invites us to join the after-school activities, clubs and study groups and introduces a few of the staff - the school psychologist, the nurses, the people in charge of student loans and scholarships.

"... which brings me to the newest member of our faculty team", the headmaster finally says and motions someone from the first row of people to come on stage. "Would you please introduce yourself?"

I grin when I see who it is. The person walks up the small makeshift stairs to the stage and excitedly waves at me when they spot me giving them the thumbs up.

"Hello, my name is Sebastian. I'll be in charge of assorted students, but also of all Omegas currently attending Monash. If you have troubles at home, with your friends, your mate or life in general, feel free to come to my office anytime or call me. My work phone number will be soon put out for you on the black board in the front hall. It's time for the Omegas here to be role models for other countries. We've achieved so much already and you all are amazing young people who will help change the sexism in our world one day, I believe in that. I'm also a trained medic, so once the club captains are elected, maybe make them safe my number in their phone too in case something happens. Thank you all for working with me this year!"

The students clap and he jumps back to the ground where Liv and Wendy are already waiting for him with reddened cheeks. I wonder where the three of them are living now, that they've moved to Melbourne partly for work, partly because of me. After the ceremony is over, I grab your hand and drag you through the crowd of chatting, excited students. Sebastian is talking to a few of them already, laughing and joking around with them. But when he sees me step up to him, he immediately drops all coversations and turns to me.

"Rin!" His arms wrap around me and he squeezes me tightly before letting go and looking down at me with sparkling eyes. "I'm so happy you're alright! I couldn't reach you after you went to Tom's farm and I was getting really worried about you! And Haru, you're here too! Good to see you!"

He pats your shoulder and I see you tense a little at his touch. Obviously, you're not on very good terms with eachother, I can tell.

"What's up with you two?"

My question leaves Sebastian shrugging casually.

"When Lori and Russell showed up with him on my doorstep, I lied at first and said I didn't know where you were. I wanted to teach him a nice lesson for making you feel so unwanted, but he literally broke down crying when I said that I had no idea about your whereabouts and decided to tell him anyway."

I swallow, once, twice. You've really been this desperate to find me? But before I can say anything or apologize to you, the headmaster announces that every student will need to attend their first class now - just to meet the teachers, classmates and maybe write down what books or equipment will be needed. I look down at my schedule for the day and then over at yours. You'll be in modern art class while I have communication studies.

"I guess it's off to class for both of us then, huh?", I mumble with a short sideglance at you. "But at least we can have lunch together. Let's meet up in the cafeteria for that. I can't wait to hear all about your day."

You nod and Danny steps up next to you.

"Let's go together, Haru", he offers with a soft smile. "I haven't ever been to that classroom. We can look for it together."

Relieved that you'll have at least someone you know with you during your first class, I wave you Goodbye when you turn around to follow Danny. Eric gives me the brofist and leaves for his Spanish class while I stay back for a moment with Sebastian. As soon as all my friends and you are out of earshot, he leans down a little and a concerned glow starts filling his eyes.

"Hey, Rin. Haru is treating you good, right?"

I look at him in confusion and frustration. Why does everybody seem to think you're having bad intentions?

"Listen, he is all I could've ever wanted. He's caring and he's really sweet, even though he acts cool and tough in front of everybody. He even tries to improve his English everyday when we're not doing anything in particular and he gets along really well with Danny and Eric now. He does that all for me, for me alone, do you get that?", I snap angrily, but Sebastian only grabs my arm.

"I do, but you know to call me if something happens? Me or Danny or Eric - they're ready to protect you too, no matter what. I talked to them already. I was the one to make sure your apartments would be in the same house. Rin, you have no idea in how much danger you could be!"

Flinching a little at his words, I try to free myself from his grip and he finally lets go of me to step back a little.

"Danger?", I choke out. "Why would I be in danger? Haru is always with me, he would never let anything happen to me! And even when he isn't, I can take care of myself!"

"That exactly is my problem!", Sebastian almost yells at me. "Haru is constantly around you! He's the one putting you in danger!"

He drags me off to a quiet corner and I'm starting to freak out at his behaviour. What is wrong with him all of a sudden? Why is he acting so... so _scared?_ Eyeing a few passing students almost suspiciously, Sebastian waits until we're completely alone, then he turns back to me with a deep breath.

"You can't have kids, right? I looked into it a little and warned Danny and Eric ahead too. Rin, Alphas sometimes flip in circumstances like yours. He's a young Alpha in a completely new environment, school will make him even more stressed, and the knowledge that he can't get you pregnant might be enough to throw him into a frenzy. If he ever gets violent around you or you feel unsafe with him, go to Eric and Danny. They'll protect you until the police or I get there. Promise me you won't put yourself at risk?"

I stare at him, at his serious expression, at the honest worry in his eyes and can't even bring myself to laugh at him, even though it sounds ridiculous that you'd ever do something to me. You've said you don't mind that I can't have kids. Could you... could you have lied about that? Could it be that you've been lying to me?

"... yeah", I mutter and nod cautiously. "I'll... I'll take care. Hey, Sebastian?"

He sighs in relief and gently ruffles my hair.

"Thank you. I just want you to be alright. What is it?"

I squirm uncomfortably and look up at him.

"Do you... do you know any good doctors around here? The ones in Japan couldn't even find out why I'm... infertile. I just want to know why. I want to know what's wrong with me. Maybe they can fix it, somehow. Maybe I could get an operation or something. Maybe... maybe I can still have children one day."

I don't even notice the tears that have risen into my eyes and quickly turn away when they start blurring my sight. Sebastian cups my face and leans over me slightly.

"No, no, no, don't cry, Rin. We'll figure something out, I promise. I'll see if I can find someone who's willing to take to your case, okay? Don't worry, I'm sure it'll all be fine."

His reassuring voice and the confidence that's literally seeping from him are enough to calm me down again and I sniff quietly before nodding. Sebastian has connections, he knows so many people all around Australia - there must be someone who can help me. I don't want to be useless to you. I want to have a family with you one day.

"I don't mean to be rude, but you should really get going now", Sebastian suddenly mutters apologetically and nudges my shoulder. "I'll see you around. Come to my office whenever. Or call me. Take care, golden boy."

\- - - - - -

Groaning exhaustedly, I place my tray down on the table and slump down in the chair next to you and to my surprise, you lean over to kiss my cheek.

"Hi. How was your first day?"

Hearing you talk in Japanese is always something so familiar, like coming home after a long time away. With a soft purr, I nuzzle your neck and close my eyes.

"Pretty good. I feel like it'll be a great semester. But how about you? Everything alright in your classes?"

While I start eating, you look down at your timetable and take another bite from your food.

"Actually, yes. Danny and Eric are with me quite often, so I'm not alone all day. And the courses are nice. I think I'll have fun. The teachers are very friendly to me."

I chuckle.

"Told you that you had absolutely nothing to worry about. On the other hand - we have practice everyday in the afternoon. Maybe it'll be a little exhausting at first, but once we've gotten used to it, I can get a job. I thought about an evening gig. Or I'll work weekends. My father's savings won't last forever."

You look over at me with a light frown, but then you nod. Of course one or both of us eventually need to work, that has been obvious from the start. I've decided to only break out the money my father has left me if I absolutely need it and right now, the school pays our apartment rent and school supplies, but we still need some stuff and clothes and groceries are still left for us to pay, after all.

"Alright. Let's talk about that soon. How long are you going to be here today?", you ask while writing something down in your notebook.

"I'm basically free to leave after lunch." Sighing, I go over my list of the books I'll need too. "Hey, you mind if I go shopping this afternoon? Like that, we would have everything ready by tomorrow. And once you're done with class, I'll pick you up. How does that sound?"

For a while, we eat in silence, then you sigh and nod.

"Alright. I'll be done around four. You don't have to come back here, though. I can walk home on my own."

We finish lunch, but stay in our seats for a while longer, chatting a little about what kind of teachers we have, what we're going to do in class and when we'll be able to meet for study hall in between our courses, then the bell rings and you get up while grabbing your bag.

"Okay, see you later. We'll meet again at home, okay?", you mutter and I lean up to kiss you before watching as you leave for afternoon class.

Then, I collect my stuff too, shove it all into my backpack and walk outside to get to the shopping center. Lucky enough, all the books we'll be needing are pretty standard and it doesn't take me long to gather them all. After I'm done with our school stuff, I visit the local Starbucks - only to run into Liv and Wendy, who are waving me over the second they spot me.

"Rin!", Liv squeals and pulls me down to sit next to her. "Great to see you here! How was your first day of college back in Australia?"

I grin, order myself a doubleshot on ice and lean back into the comfortable seat.

"Was okay. What are you two doing here?", I ask while Wendy offers me the straw of her drink and I take a sip.

"We just thought we'd grab a coffee and go shopping for a while", she giggles and tugs at the sleeve of my shirt. "And from the way you look, you really need some new stuff too. The school uniform is neat, but casual looks better on you. Why don't you join us? We wanted to check out that new store on the third floor."

After we've paid for our drinks, we make our way outside and up the stairs, chatting and laughing like usual. I've really missed them - they're like my sisters. And shopping with girls is so much more fun. This newfound freedom is amazing. I'm used to being locked up at Samezuka for weeks on end, until one of the teachers finally decides to accompany us outside, and then we're only allowed to go as far as they can still see us.

"Here, what about this?", Liv immediately chimes once we enter the store and points at a dark shirt with neon script all across it. "Oh, and if you try it on, take those shorts too, they'll look amazing on you!"

It goes on like this for quite some time and I slowly start to realize what I've been missing out on for almost four years. I should've never left Australia in the first place. Liv and Wendy treat me to some stuff, assuring me that it's alright and that it's just a welcome-back gift. When we all decide to head home, we walk back downstairs and just as we're about to leave the mall, Wendy suddenly squeals and grabs my arm.

"Wait guys, let's go in there for a second!"

She excitedly drags me and Liv into a store close by and I snort in amusement when she immediately rushes towards a stack of fluffy blankets - the kind that she always stuffs her nest with. Liv laughs too and joins her.

"Rin, do you want some of those too?", she asks with a smile over her shoulder. "I remember that you've always _loved_ Wendy's nests."

"Actually, I haven't had time yet to even think of building a nest in our new flat", I admit sheepishly and walk over to them to run one hand over the fluffy fabric. "We've only been here for ten days, and our flat is so small that I have no idea where to go. I'd need a place Haru doesn't know about, but that's literally impossible with an apartment like ours."

They both give me a weird look, then Wendy shakes her head and hands me two of the blankets.

"Stupid, all houses and apartments in Australia have a special nest room for Omegas. You just have to look for it."

She winks and drags me over to the checkout while Liv gathers some more pillows and blankets with a light chuckle. After they've paid for everything and I've thanked them for what feels like a million times today already, we bid our Goodbyes and head off in different directions. Once I'm home, I drop the bags onto the couch and follow suit. For about ten minutes, I just curl into the cushions and close my eyes, almost drifting off to sleep, but then I decide that there's time to sleep later today. First, I have to put this away. Humming quietly, I sort the clothes out and throw them into the laundry basket, then I grab the bag with my new blankets and pillows and decide to start searching the apartment for the nest room Wendy has mentioned.

Until it hits me.

The closet.

I check the clock above the door - it's almost three in the afternoon. You won't be home for another hour or so. I slip into our bedroom and open the closet door. Hidden behind our school uniforms, tracksuits and everyday clothes, there's the small handle I've spotted this morning and when I turn it, the back of the closet opens like a sliding door. My breath hitches slightly and I carefully step into the room behind it. It's not very big - enough space for two people, though. And it's stacked with mattresses, bedsheets and pillows already.

A content purr breaks from my chest and I get the bag from where I've left it in front of the closet. This is perfect. Even better than my private room at Samezuka. I get to work and soon after, there's not a single edge or inch in the room that isn't covered in fluffy fabric. Only when I want to leave the room to get some more pillows from the living room, I notice that the door can be locked from inside. Perfect. So you won't even be able to enter if I don't want you to.

After I've finished building the nest, I return to the inside of the closet and start going through the shirts there. I only want those who smell like you. Carefully, I sniff every single one of them, but then decide to take most of them with me, anyway. They fit perfectly as an outer layer for my nest. I lock the door and curl up in the midst of it, surrounded by your scent and the comforting knowledge that I have a place for my own now.

Sleep has long since taken me over, but the ringing of my phone wakes me up again. It's Sosuke. I smile tiredly and pick up, bring the phone to my ear and enjoy the sound of my best friend's voice.

"Hi Rin", he says and I can hear that he's smiling.

"Hi Sosuke. Whats up? Why are you calling?"

It's good to know he's not angry at me anymore. I'd hate to lose him because of one of my stupid mistakes.

"I just wanted to ask how you're doing", he responds. "I'm here with Makoto and we both started university today. We... we actually moved in together in Tokyo. Our unis are still separated, but at least we can live together. Rin, I'm so madly in love with this man. You have no idea how sweet he is. He brings me flowers and treats me to dinner and he even stepped in when a guy tried to hit on me while we were out on a date. You can't even imagine what kind of aura he has. He literally straightened his back, smiled at the guy and told him to go. And he did. God, I've never been more in love."

I roll over slightly and stare at the shirt before me, tug at its sleeves, straighten it out and bury my face in it with a small smile.

"I'm happy, Sosuke. If he's treating you good, I'm happy. How are you two getting along? Living together is a big step. You're not mated yet, are you?"

He laughs.

"No, we're not mated. But I think I really want him to mark me one day. And hey, guess what?"

I hear his voice getting dark and sultry, the kind of tone he's been using back at Samezuka to tell me about what kind of stuff he and his date have done the last night.

"No, I'm not guessing. You'll have to tell me", I jab back and he chuckles.

"Gladly. Makoto doesn't really like that he's an Alpha. He says the only thing he likes about it is that he can protect me better like that. But you have no idea how hot he's getting when I show him his place in the bedroom from time to time."

God, my best friend is a sick bastard. I grin and click my tongue slightly.

"Weirdo. But whatever floats your boat, I guess. Which reminds me, you must've gone into heat while I went to Australia. Did Makoto stay with you?"

Sosuke's answer is a low hum.

"He did. And I have never felt better. You were right all along. I'm sorry for playing it down like that when they wanted to separate you and Nanase. If someone tried to get Makoto away from me, I'd go insane. But what about your heats?", he suddenly probes and I flinch slightly at the unexpected question. "You two going at it too, I guess? Are you putting out your ass for your Alpha like a good Omega?"

"As if you wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, actually I wanted to ask you a favour", my best friend mutters, suddenly sounding a little awkward. "Could you... could you get me some birth control pills? They're much cheaper in Australia, I've looked it up. I'll give you the money, too, you just have to buy them and send them to me. Would you do that?"

Immediately, I feel the nausea rising in my guts and curl into your shirts even tighter. I can't respond. I can't say anything. _Sosuke doesn't know,_ I desperately try to tell myself. _He didn't say it on purpose, he can't know..._

"Rin? Is something the matter?"

"S-Sorry", I whisper after taking a deep breath to calm down. "It's nothing. Sure, I'll see what I can do."

But of course, he knows better than to believe me.

"It's not _nothing_ if you're on the verge of tears because of that!", he argues impatiently. "What's wrong? Was it something I said?"

I hate him. I hate him for not having to think about the stuff I have to think about everytime I see a couple with children on the street or pass by the playground near our apartment.

"I told you it was nothing!", I yell and the temptation to just end the phone call is almost irresistible. "I don't want to talk about it!"

"But I do!", Sosuke growls back. "And if you don't tell me what's wrong I'm coming to Australia this instant and I swear to God, I won't leave there again without you! Is it Nanase? Is he hurting you somehow? Rin, tell me what's gotten into you!"

His words are soaking into my mind, make me dizzy and disoriented. It's not an empty threat and the thought of having to leave you makes me want to throw up even more.

"I can't have children", I finally spit out through clenched jaws. "The doctors say I won't ever be having children. Is that what you so desperately wanted to hear?"

Stunned silence.

Sosuke doesn't dare to utter another word.

Then, he completely explodes with compassion. I can't even tell how long he apologizes, but in contrast to everyone else who knows it, his reaction is sincere and heartfelt. He's an Omega too - of course he'd be devastated. Wendy and Liv seem to carefully avoid the topic children around me and I know that they feel bad for me, but they've never said so to my face.

"Shit, if I can do anything to help you somehow, just tell me. I could visit. I could come to Australia for a few days. Makoto wouldn't mind to see Nanase again, I'm sure. Rin, I'm so-"

"It's fine", I interrupt him exhaustedly. "It's not your fault, after all. Just shut up, idiot."

The sound of the front door opening makes me lift my head.

"Sorry Sosuke, I need to get going. Haru just got home, I want to greet him. Tell Makoto Hi from me and him, we'll visit during Christmas break."

With that, I end the call and shove the phone into my pocket. I have to leave the nest before you can come looking for me or you'll find it. I shouldn't have been worried, though, because the first place you head to is the bathroom. Once I hear the shower running and the bathtub filling with water, I carefully climb out of the nest and into the bedroom. Then I adjust the clothes a little so the sliding door is hidden again and walk out to see what's up with you.

Your scent is still bitter.

"Haru?", I call out and knock against the bathroom door. "Are you okay?"

When you don't answer, I step back unsurely. I don't want to bother you...

"You can come in."

Your voice is quiet and flat, I can't quite tell how you feel. So I just step into the bathroom, only to find you under the shower. The steamy glass blurs your outlinings, but I see that you have your jammer on while you rinse off. The bathtub is full already and I switch the faucet off.

"Did something happen while you were at school?", I ask softly and sit down by the edge of the tub. "Your scent..."

"It's fine", you interrupt me and step out of the shower. "I just want to take a bath and go to sleep today. I'm tired."

Even if you say that, you lean your head against my side once you're in the tub and close your eyes as I run my hand through your hair and gently scratch your neck.

"You don't have to tell me, but you know that I'll listen if you want me to", I remind you quietly.

After a while of silence, I slide to the floor and take your face into my hands. The kisses we exchange are sweet and gentle. All I really want to do is calm you down from your exhausting day.

"I'm happy you're here with me, Haru."


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

Between classes and training, we both quickly find a comfortable routine. I'll get up, make sure you're awake too, then I head out for a morning run with Danny, return, shower, have breakfast and walk to campus with you. For lunch and training, we meet up and in the evening, we spend some time together, either playing video games, watching movies, taking walks or going to the beach, but tonight, I don't really feel like doing anything but going to bed as soon as we return from our afternoon training.

You follow me to our bedroom and I shift uncomfortably. If you weren't here right now, I'd be in my nest faster than lightning. Still, I have to fight the primal instinct. I need to keep the nest hidden from you.

"Rin, you're acting weird today", you say with a blank stare at me when I unbutton my shirt and carelessly drop it to the floor in favour of slipping one of the wide sleeping shirts over my head.

"And you're annoying", I snarl back, strip off my slacks and crawl into bed.

Even though the sheets are silky and they smell deliciously like you, I'd much rather be in my nest right now.

"I'm not annoying, I just noticed that something is wrong and I want to know what."

That's all you say before collecting my clothes off the floor and folding them neatly on the dresser. I grumble quietly and close my eyes, hoping you'll leave me alone soon. But instead of just fucking off, you even slip under the blankets with me and gently touch my shoulder.

"Rin."

I don't respond and you bury your nose in the crook of my neck, your voice growing more urgent.

"Rin."

I growl softly. It's not a direct sign for you to back off, just to be cautious if you keep it up. But once you've noticed that I am definitely not going to talk to you anymore today, you move back to your side of the bed and I curse inwardly. Now I'll have to wait until you're asleep so I can sneak off to the nest. But you don't seem to share my exhaustion and your scent just doesn't fade to the sleepy blur that would tell me you've finally drifted off. For a while, I keep still, curled into the bedsheets, but it's hot, too hot. I lean over, turn up the fan on my nightstand and slump back down. As soon as the cool air starts drying the sweat from my body, I shiver and pull the sheets around me. You stir and, with a soft sigh, roll over until you can place one arm over my waist.

"What's wrong? You've been awfully restless. Do you want me to sleep on the couch?"

I'm hot and cold at the same time and when you press up against me, I try to endure the feeling of being trapped, but eventually I slip out of your grip and sit up to switch on the dimmed light.

"No, not really", I mutter and look down at the bedsheets. "Haru, my heat is starting."

Immediately, you're at full attention.

"Now?"

Scoffing, I stand up and stretch before I pad over to the door that connects our room to the bathroom.

"Not right now, but definitely soon."

As expected, you follow me when I step out of sight. I should know better. It's some kind of instinct for you Alphas, I think.

"Haru, I'll be back in five seconds", I groan softly when you stop in the doorway, blue eyes trained on me with such ferocious intensity that the hair on my neck rises.

"I don't want you to be in pain", you respond quietly, step up to me and latch your lips onto the tender spot right beneath my ear - something that usually makes me flinch away, but now just sends pleasant shivers down the whole lenght of my spine.

I switch on the faucet, lean down to wash my face and brush my hair back a little, all while your embrace tightens. One of your hands trails over my back and my breathing speeds up.

"Weren't you the one giving me shit for making you fuck me in the bathroom back in Iwatobi?", I ask with an amused huff.

"Yes. And we're not doing that again. Come back to bed."

I nod faintly, slip out of your hold and walk into the bedroom. The golden light from the lamp on my bedside barely illuminates the dark corners, it's just enough to see shapes and silhouettes in the room. I settle down on the edge of the bed and look up at you. Now I understand why you've been so obnoxious before - you've just been testing if I'm willing to mate already. Something in you must've sensed me getting closer to my heat.

"Rin", you mutter softly while your hand touches my thigh, not more than a fleeting brush of skin, but enough to make me feel the sudden desire you're radiating. "Rin, I want it now. Can I have you?"

I jolt and tremble at your words and even though something inside me acts up, I let myself be pushed back into the sheets by you.

_We shouldn't, not yet, not yet, it's not time yet, wait a little longer, just a little bit longer..._

The voice inside my head grows more insistent when your hips grind against mine. I free myself from your kiss, panting.

"Wait", I moan desperately. "No, no, wait... I can't... Not now, Haru, later, I promise, I promise, just leave me alone now and I'll let you have me later, okay?"

You stall a little, hesitant. Then you nod and sit back.

"Of course. I just thought maybe you'd feel better if we did it before your heat starts."

I slowly close my eyes and start breathing easier. What kind of ridiculous lies have I been fed? An Alpha - a beast that jumps you, that marks you and rapes you at every possible opportunity and here I am, about to go into full-blown heat with my Alpha boyfriend next to me on the bed and he has left me alone the second I've asked him to. Well, you haven't actually left me alone, but your caresses have turned from impatient to calming as you stroke my chest and hips, leave soft kisses on the side of my neck.

"I still don't know much about your heats", you mutter suddenly and I turn my head a little to the side to look at you.

"What do you mean?"

A short glance from behind inky black strands of hair.

"I don't know how to take care of you. I want to learn it. What you like during your heat. What you don't want me to do. What you like to eat. If I'm supposed to be holding you or if you want me to leave you alone after one wave is over. If you would allow me to control you. Or if you don't like that."

"I just want you to stay with me", I mutter and slowly snuggle into your side.

Maybe I'm taunting you a little too much, but I can't help it. I want to be close to you, as close as possible. Your hand grabs my hips and I can't help but chuckle when you pull me onto your body.

"Okay. I can do that."

The kisses we exchange are the slow and messy kind you usually have over a sappy movie when nobody is really paying attention but there's a romantic song playing in the background and the actors are in some kind of life-changing, deep conversation. I slowly move to take off your shirt, shove it over the edge of the bed while the heat slowly but surely ignites blazing flames in my insides that start licking their way through my skin. Your hand slips down to my ass, pushes my shorts down and I suck in a sharp breath when your fingers brush my entrance - only for the briefest of seconds.

"You're wet."

The husky whisper straight into my ear makes my eyes fly open and I bare my fangs at you.

"As if I didn't know myself!", I cry out, mortified. "Stop talking like that!"

It's rare to hear you laugh. I'm positive that not even Makoto has heard you laugh very often, but now I get to listen to you bursting out with laughter. It's a sound that sinks deep into my chest, sparks a surge of warmth and I lean down to kiss you again, my heart beating louder than before.

"Yes, Rin", you breathe back at me and then, the first wave of my heat takes me completely by surprise.

It's like a wall of fire slamming into me, burning me completely and I cry out your name until my tongue is too heavy, until the sweat pouring down my face is too cold for my heated skin, until the emptiness in my guts is unbearable.

"Haru, Ha- ahh... please, please, Alpha, need you, need it, please, Haru, Haru... hot... inside, please come inside..."

My hips stutter when you lean up, whisper calming words to me and I feel you taking off your briefs.

"I'm here, Rin. I'll make it stop hurting. Relax. Go easy now, okay? Just a moment, hold on."

You shift, reach out one hand towards the bedside table and open the small drawer there. A golden condom wrapper flashes in the warm light, but I'm too far gone to know what you're doing. The slick dripping over my thighs is carefully swept away by your hand and you coat your dick with it before I feel you entering me. My palms press against your chest as I drop my head forward and my eyes close slowly as I lower myself down, knees pushing into the mattress on either side of your body.

"Haru... come, please!", I whimper desperately. "Come inside me, ahh... inside, please..."

Delirium takes over me and the usually so quiet, easily ignoreable voice inside my head, the voice of the Omega, is the only thing I hear anymore. And it's pretty clear what it wants.

"... baby", I mutter weakly when your movements stop just long enough for you to enjoy the contractions of my muscles around you. I know you like it when I clench down on your cock like that. "Baby, Haru, I want one. Please, Alpha, I want... I want..."

My words turn into broken sobs at the pleasure that blinds me from the world, dyes my vision white and makes me clutch my stomach when you come with a deep moan that's probably supposed to be an incoherent version of my name, sheated so deep inside me that I mewl in pained delight. Your knot locks us together and I tremble when you still push your hips up against mine.

"I know, Rin, I know", you say softly while running your hands over my sides, splaying them out across my stomach. "We'll have a baby one day. I promise. Be calm and patient now."

The kiss to my collarbone turns into a sharp, bruising bite and your tongue sweeps over my nipple, hot lips close around it, sucking lightly. I whimper, rock against your body and wrap one arm around your neck to keep you in place.

"Haru, don't... not in between the waves... let me... let me rest, please, let me..."

"You haven't come yet", you point out with a sigh and before I can protest, your hand is wrapped around my cock while you roll your hips, the pressure in my body growing too overwhelming to process and when you lightly rub your thumb over the underside of my dick, I lunge forward with a loud cry, bury my face in your hair and hold onto you for some kind of support, our chests are painted in streaks of white.

Panting, we both slowly back away from eachother and I drop my forehead against yours.

"Seriously, idiot", I mutter against your flushed, sweaty skin. "I'm not important. I don't have to come everytime. Just... just..."

I can't put it into words, this fierce desire, this _need_ that has taken hold of me ever since we've first slept with eachother. This aching, wanton despair that I feel when I see parents with their children, a mother or father cradling their baby, the kids playing tag in the park near our apartment. I want small hands reaching out for me, I want a tearful voice turning into laughter when I step up to a crib, I want to hear my child say _"Daddy"_ for the first time.

"I just want a baby, Haru."

My chest heaves with dry sobs and I wipe my eyes, but I can't cry. I don't even have the power to cry now. Your hand strokes my hair and I nuzzle into it, still shaking a little, but your warm comfort feels good.

"I know. We'll have a baby one day", you repeat softly. "We will have kids one day, Rin."

\- - - - - -

On the fourth day of my heat, we both return to university. The waves are spaced so far apart that I easily make it through my classes before lunch - even though Eric gives me a knowing smirk when we meet in third period.

"Danny asked me if I knew where you were on the first day you didn't show up for your morning run and I honestly had to slap him across the face. That boy is so absolutely stupid sometimes, I could smell you were in heat from about four miles away. How are you holding up? Should you really be at school today?"

I shift a little - it's been a few hours since we've done it and I start to get fidgety, the last remnants of my heat still seething just beneath my skin - and grab the books we'll need from my bag.

"I'm fine, thanks. Maybe I'll drag Haru off during lunch break, though. I want to go to training this afternoon, no matter what. Four days doing nothing but lying around in bed is absolutely the worst", I grumble.

Eric rummages through his bag with a low, amused huff.

"In bed? You guys are missing out. The first time I went into heat here in Melbourne, Danny dragged me from the hallway to the living room, the kitchen and the bedroom and I swear to God, you wouldn't believe how fucking amazing it is to do it on the kitchen counter. He stands there every morning before his run now, drinks coffee with his hips pushed out and smiles at me when I join him in the kitchen and my pulse skyrockets every goddamn time."

We both laugh - partly because we both know this feeling and partly because the heady scent that still surrounds me makes it much easier to talk about things like this. The teacher starts to talk and our attention returns to the front of the class. For a while, I'm actually able to focus on taking notes, but my mind wanders off a little once I get bored. Pictures of you now flood my thoughts and I have to quickly bite down onto my pencil to stifle a quiet whine - but Eric has heard it anyway. His eyes wander over to me and then, he furrows his brows.

_You alright?,_ reads the note he pushes towards me a few seconds later.

I don't dare to answer, instead just shake my head and start gathering my stuff with trembling hands. I need to get away from here, out of class at least. Home would be best. My whole body is on fire. I need you.

"Rin!"

Eric is at full alert now when I get to my feet, grab the belt of my bag and sling it over my shoulder. The teacher looks up and it feels like everybody is turning to stare at me. I don't want to be here. My whole body shakes violently and I reach out one hand towards Eric, who's by my side the second it's obvious what's going on.

"Come on, let's go", he whispers and gently grabs my arm.

I don't even know how he's gotten your number, but he's on the phone with you just moments later.

"Haru? Haru, you have to get here, fast. Rin's heat- I know, it happened so quickly, it's... we're close to Sebastian's office. Yeah. Yeah, I'll do that. Hurry."

My legs almost give out and suddenly, I'm glad that I'm wearing my black jeans today instead of the school uniform. Hot wetness is trailing down my inner thighs and I feel it soaking through the fabric of my pants. Eric bangs his fist against the door we're standing in front of.

"Basti!", he screams. "Get your ass up and open the door!"

The handle moves and then, Sebastian appears in the doorway, confused for a second but then he immediately realizes what's happening, even though I don't even know that myself. I just know that Eric's touch suddenly feels disgusting and that Sebastian is the last person I should be close to right now. He's an Alpha, and he's not you. I shouldn't be near him.

"Bring him inside, quickly!", Sebastian demands and pulls me into his office. "Rin, are you nuts? Why didn't you stay home today? Oh shit, shit, shit..."

He runs both hands through his hair and backs away from me while I sink down onto the couch in the back of Sebastian's office and close my eyes. Eric stands in between us, completely helpless.

"It's better if you leave before his scent gets to you or... or Haru finds you near him", he says weakly when the door is already shoved open and I howl in relief when your presence hits me.

"Haru!"

There's a short snarl and I hear steps leaving the room, then your hands slam against the back of the couch left and right from me and your lips devour me greedily. You don't even try to say anything, all you do is push my jeans down and drag me over to the edge of the couch. Two of your fingers immediately work into me as deep as possible and I arch my back, eyes sliding shut at the small taste of what you're going to do with me.

Something rustles slightly and I hear a tearing sound, then your lips latch onto my neck again and I feel your fangs leaving deep bruises in my skin, but there's no pain. All I know is that I'm a shivering mess, tremors of pleasure shake me to the core while you stare down at me, eyes dark with hunger.

"Turn around, I'm taking you right here."

How can a few words sound so promising and threatening at the same time? It's insane and wrong and stupid and arousing but I nod with a soft whimper, not sure if it's smart to agree, but my body is betraying me so shamelessly that I cave in. Who cares if we're at school, who cares if everyone hears me screaming your name when you feed your whole lenght into me, letting me adjust to every inch that sends me into hot bliss.

The first thrust makes my scream turn into pants, the second quiets me down to a few weak gasps for air. I can't take it and at the same time I want more, desire and frustration turn into a unbearable mess because this isn't enough, will never be enough.

"Plea... se... don't... don't l-let me wai- ngh..."

Your tongue trails wet lines up my neck, lingering over the spot where my pulse is throbbing heavily while one of your hands strokes down my spine. My voice echoes back from the stuffed air that smells like you and sex and sweat and if it weren't for your fingers pushing past my lips that instant, I wouldn't have been able to choke back my cries.

"We can't be loud here", you breathe into my ear and give a particularly hard thrust right into my sweet spot that has me biting down on your fingers with bared fangs. "Quiet, Rin."

_Quiet_ is impossible when you fuck me like that. Saliva keeps dripping down my chin, I struggle just to coordinate breathing and trying to stop myself from falling unconscious under your rough thrusts.

"Rin, I'm-"

The rest of your words drowns in a mess of moans and a harsh bite to the back of my neck that makes me break down against the back of the couch completely. You knot me again, for the at least tenth time in a few days, and I whimper when my abused insides are stretched to their limit once more.

"Sorry", you whisper into my sweaty hair when we've both calmed down to an acceptable extent. "I hurt you, didn't I?"

Trying to fight the pain down, I shift slightly, press myself closer to you so the tension in our bodies will ease somehow.

"You just tore my ass up like you did sixty times in a row over the last few already", I groan desperately. "How do you think I'm feeling?"

You place a gentle kiss on my jaw and push deeper into me with a soft sigh.

"I don't like it when I'm hurting you. Why is your heat so intense this time?"

"Do I look like I would know that?", I mutter weakly. "Hey, hurry up and relax so your knot goes down faster, I don't think I can do this any longer."

The searing pain is slowly starting to make me break into a cold sweat. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much and my eyes are watering. Your hand suddenly clutches my wrist.

"Rin? Rin, are you-"

"Pull out!", I gasp in agony. "Haru, pull out, I can't..."

And even though I've braced myself, the following pain makes my whole body freeze. I know we shouldn't part during a knotting, but I can't take this burning stretch any longer. My vision flickers on and off while I cling to your arm wrapped around my waist and through the static that fills my ears, I hear you scream Sebastian's name.

\- - - - - -

Gloved fingers move inside me, put gentle pressure on certain spots and I groan softly, blink against the bright neon light shining from the ceiling.

"Nothing serious, there's just a few small tears from when you've pulled out of him. Why did you even do that?"

"He literally screamed at me to do it, I didn't know... he sounded so pained and I hate to hurt him, I just..."

"It's fine, but you shouldn't have complied. I understand that the knotting may be painful for him, pulling out doesn't help with that, though. It's his fourth day of heat, you say?"

"Yes. It's been strangely intense this time."

"Hm..."

I hear gloves snapping, then Sebastian's movements freeze. I hear a familiar rustling sound close to me and my body reacts to the noise with a sudden jerk of arousal, the last bit of my heat that's still simmering quietly in my abdomen flares up slightly.

"Condoms? You've been using condoms, Haru?"

"Yes. I know Rin can't get pregnant, but I feel more comfortable knowing that we've used protection. I just took some of them with me in case another wave hit him at school."

Silence for a while, then the sound of a sink running. I can't move my head, my neck aches. Shadows and blurry outlines move in the corner of my eye.

"You shouldn't. Make him use birth control pills, at least during his heats. Condoms will only make them last longer." Sebastian leans over me and gently strokes my cheek, palm still a little damp, smelling like soap and disinfectant. "Hey, sleeping beauty. Are you still in pain?"

I shake my head, confused and tired. Suddenly, a warm body presses against my side and I feel you gently nuzzling my neck.

"Rin, you almost fainted. We're at Sebastian's place. Do you think you can sit up?"

Sebastian's place? I've never seen this room before. But then I remember that we're in Melbourne, not in Sydney, and this is not the house I'm used to.

"Haru...?", I ask quietly. "Haru, what happened?"

"I told you, you almost fainted."

Your arm wraps around me and with your help, I carefully sit up. It looks more like in an examination room at a medical office than a normal flat. Sebastian is moving around the room for a bit, then he returns to me.

"Take it easy, Rin, you're hurt. Here, this is a light sedative that will stop the pain and help you relax. I'd rather you take it now and stay here for half an hour so I can make sure you'll be alright."

He hands me a small pill and a glass of water. I down both, my dry throat aching faintly. You're curled up beside me and after the medication has kicked in, I'm literally asleep in your arms. The thirty minutes pass without me realizing and then, we're suddenly home.

"I'm sorry. If I'd known how much it would hurt you, I wouldn't have pulled out", your voice whispers into my ear and I feel the silky bedsheets slide against my naked skin.

When have you even undressed me? I hear you fold our clothes, open the closet and put them away. The closet. My nest. I whimper softly.

"Haru, leave me alone."

You stop dead in your tracks and stare over at the bed.

"Rin?"

"Just... go. Leave me alone. Please", I mutter and move over to the edge of the bed.

For a moment, you just stand there, but then you nod hesitantly.

"Alright."

As soon as your steps have faded down the hallway, I struggle to get up, walk over to the closet, slip into the nest room behind it and lock the door with a soft sound of relief. Everything in here smells like safety and comfort from the pain. My heat is almost over, I don't need you anymore. Not after feeling this burning ache deep in my insides, at least. Sebastian says I'm hurt. I shouldn't have asked you to pull out. It's all my fault.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MAJOR SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

My heart is beating violently in my chest when I stare at the calendar. I should've gotten my period three days ago. Against all logic, against the knowledge that we haven't had sex without using a condom since coming to Australia and that I shouldn't be able to have children in the first place, I can't help but pray that somehow, I don't even _care_ how, I've gotten pregnant.

You return to the bedroom after your bath, only clad in a fresh set of jammers and a towel wrapped around your neck as you dry off your hair with a short glance at me.

"You've been nervous all day long. Is something the matter?"

Grinning, I wait until you've settled down on the bed, then I slowly wrap both arms around you from behind and start leaving a trail of gentle kisses on your shoulder. A single drop of water runs down the lenght of your bare neck and I catch it with my tongue, follow the glistening line it has left on your skin back up and lean forward to nip at your jaw. You smile a little, I can hear it in your voice.

"What is it?"

"Hmm... nothing", I whisper back. "I just love you, that's all."

You lean back until your back is pressed up against my chest and my hand slowly slips down your body until I reach your crotch, gently stroking you through your swimsuit. Before you can utter even a single word of protest, a soft moan slips from your throat instead and I grin triumphantly.

"Are you in the mood, babe?"

The question should be rethorical, but I want to make sure I'm not doing anything you really don't want.

"You've just been in heat a few days ago. Don't you think we should wait a bit longer?", you ask, breathing a little heavier already.

"Mmm... no, I feel like doing it tonight", I shoot back with a soft sigh while I cup your clothed dick and give it a few firm strokes.

"What's the occasion?"

You're relentless. I can't lie to you. But what will you say if I tell you that I think I'm pregnant? Would you even allow me to keep the baby? Or would you force me to abort it? I know you don't want to have a child yet, you've been pretty clear about that, but would you go as far as to kill our baby?

"Don't get mad if I tell you, 'kay?", I mutter, feeling a little sheepish all of a sudden. "You have to promise me you won't get mad."

Nodding, you knock your head back against my shoulder while I keep tracing your sharp V-line with my fingertips.

"I'm not going to get mad", you pant and your hips start bucking up into my touch.

With a tense smile, I fidget a little.

"My... my period is almost four days late. I might be pregnant."

For a moment, your body goes stiff in my embrace and I duck my head, hoping you won't freak out completely. Maybe Sebastian has been right, maybe I should be more careful around you, maybe I should've told Danny and Eric so they could step in, just in case-

You spin around, shove me back onto the bed and just when panic starts swelling in my chest, I see the glow in your eyes and one of your hands strokes my stomach so lovingly as if you're touching a priceless gem.

"Pregnant... Rin, are you... serious? You could... you..."

I wrap my arms around you without even letting you finish talking. I wouldn't have dreamt of such a reaction from you. I would've never dared to guess you'd be happy.

"Haru, you're not angry?", I sob desperately. "You're not mad at me? Even though you said... you said you didn't want me to get pregnant so early?"

You let me hold onto you for a moment before you lean up a little to place one shaking hand on my cheek.

"Why would I be angry at you? You could be having my child and you thought I'd be angry? Were you really scared to tell me?"

"Not scared, but I didn't know how you would react", I mumble with flushed cheeks. "So... you'd... you'd want the child?"

Your lips ghost over my bare chest, all the way down to my stomach and I shudder lightly when you kiss the skin drawn taut over my muscles.

"Of course, Rin. Of course I would want the child. I told you already back in Iwatobi - if you get pregnant, it's my kid as much as it is yours."

My hands slowly curl into your hair and I moan softly.

"Haru... Haru, you shouldn't..."

Everything inside me is revolting against the feeling of your tongue gently teasing down my abdomen. My whole Omega-instincts are at high alert. An Alpha isn't supposed to do this, an Alpha is never supposed to bow down to an Omega like this!

"I think I should. Be quiet", your husky voice whispers, a searing gaze is thrown at me from beneath heavy lids and then, pleasure flashes through my veins like lightning until I feel like every last drop of my blood has turned into liquid fire.

\- - - - - -

We're at home when the cramps start. You and Danny are doing your English homework by the kitchen table not far from us, while Eric and I just laze around on the couch. Usually, we would be attending training at this time, but today it's so hot that the coaches have decided to send us home instead of trapping us in the indoor pool where the air feels like a constant sauna at 90 degrees.

"... so I went back early that night. What a fucking fail", Eric snorts, finishing one of his stories of the Alphas he's been with. "I really thought she was a nice girl. Rin? Hey, Rin!"

He places one hand on my shoulder when I double over in pain and clutch my stomach with a low groan.

"Shit!"

"Sounds like bad period cramps", Eric chuckles and shifts closer, but I shove him away with one hand and his expression turns from amused to worried. "You okay, sharkrad? Hey, hey, calm-"

I'm close to giving him a good taste of how okay I am, when your eyes suddenly trail over to me and a light scowl appears on your face. You say something to Danny and he just nods slightly while you get up and walk towards me. Your scent wavers unsurely for a moment, as if you're not certain on what to feel, but then you sit down next to me and silently pull me into your embrace.

If I could, I'd get up and throw myself straight to the ground of the ocean. I want everyone to leave me alone and just let me drown. I should've known better. Of course I wouldn't get pregnant. Why did I get my own hopes up? Why did I ever even open my stupid mouth two days ago? My hand claws your shoulder until I feel the skin tearing, but you don't say a word, just hold me closer against your chest.

"What's wrong?", Eric asks, almost anxiously. Despite your hostile glare in his direction, he hasn't budged from my side. "What's going on with you two?"

"Leave", you mutter in response and Danny perks up when you flash your fangs at Eric. "It's better if you both leave now."

You're serious and you make sure to get the message across while I bury my face against your bare shoulder and try to bite back the tears rising into my eyes. I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate everything.

"Rin, please look at me. It's okay, it's alright. Don't feel bad. We knew you probably wouldn't get pregnant."

I flinch away from your touch and get up from the couch. Of course, you're right. How could I ever believe I'd be pregnant? The doctors have said it - I can't have children. Why the hell did I believe I would be lucky enough to have a child?

"It's okay", I whisper and take a deep breath. "I'm going to take a shower. You can... you can complete your homework."

Your gaze follows me as I slowly walk down to the hallway and disappear into the bathroom. As soon as the door closes behind me and I've stripped off all my clothes, I step into the shower. Nobody could tell if it's hot water or tears pouring down my face while the glass slowly fogs up and I slide to the floor to curl up into myself.

\- - - - - -

It's almost been two weeks since that damned day in September. I've dragged myself through school and training and even though there's an international tournament coming up, I can't bring myself to work harder. All my energy is currently being used for staying awake all day long without just surrendering to the constant exhaustion. I go for my usual morning runs, but I don't even realize that my time isn't improving at all. I go to practice without really thinking of surpassing my current record.

You seem to get frustrated by my behaviour too, I notice. You start spending more time with Danny, you leave with him for walks in the evening and I notice the fondness in your gaze when you look at him now. In contrast, Eric just can't leave me alone. After learning of my crushed hopes to get pregnant, he starts spoiling me to no end. He brings over homemade meals with recipes from Lori and his mom, he takes me out drinking and makes sure I get up, even on Saturday and Sunday, he barges into our flat, starts making breakfast and annoys me long enough for me to crawl out of bed willingly just so he'll stop.

"I swear to God, if I let you get depressed again, the world can suck my dick", he hums one day when he puts a plate down in front of me and pushes the fork into my hand. "And now eat. You can always think of adoption, right? You don't have to get pregnant yourself."

I sigh and turn away. The smell of food is enough to make me nauseous.

"You don't get it. I want a child of my own. My child. Not someone else's child."

Eric sits down next to me and gently rubs my shoulder.

"I understand... but hey, Basti says he'll look for a doctor that may be able to help you. And... and if nothing works, you could maybe..."

I shove the plate away, leave the kitchen table and walk out onto the balcony. You and Danny are still down by the seaside. Eric sighs, but he leaves me alone and starts cleaning up the kitchen instead. For a while, I hear the sound of water splashing as he does the dishes and starts drying them off, when suddenly, the sound of porcelain shattering jerks me out of the morbid thoughts running through my head.

"Eric?"

My eyes widen when I see him leaning against the kitchen counter, gasping and panting, face flushed. Oh shit. He's going into heat. I bolt forward, grab his arm and force him over to one of the chairs so he won't accidentally fall and hit his head or something.

"Danny!", he whimpers softly and his fingers dig into my shirt so hard that his knuckles stand out white as if they've been bleached. "Danny, Rin, call Danny!"

"Y-Yeah, sure!", I gasp in confusion, completely forgetting about the phone in my pocket.

Instead, I rush back over to the balcony and lean over the railing, heart beating loudly in my chest.

"Danny!", I yell over to you and him. "Danny, get up here!"

He turns around to look up at me, but you react faster than he does, I hear you say something to him and then, you both come dashing up to the apartment complex at full speed. I exhale in relief and return to Eric's side. He's sweating and trembling and I gently wrap my arms around him.

"He's on his way, don't worry", I mutter in a mindless attempt to calm my best friend down. "Danny's coming, he's almost here, he's coming to take care of you, don't worry, Eric, don't worry..."

The front door is slammed open and the presence of two Alphas chokes me up, especially with Eric in heat so close to me. Danny's eyes are dark and dangerous as he shoulders past me and buries both hand in Eric's messy blond hair, leans down and presses his lips onto the Omega's mouth, silences his gleeful whimpers and moans that start filling the air in the kitchen as soon as he senses Danny near him. You're panting from the sudden sprint up to our flat and your eyes quickly slide over to me.

"Are you alright, Rin?"

It's the first time in a few days that you sound truly worried about me and I tremble at your concerned voice.

"I'm fine, I'm-"

"Come on, Eric, let's go", Danny whispers and drags the Omega to his feet.

He leads him up to their own flat and I hear the door slamming shut behind them both. As soon as Eric's scent fades out, my tense muscles go slack and I sigh in exhaustion. You step over, hesitantly. It's been quite some time since we've even touched and when I reach out one hand to rest it on your hips, you take a deep breath, eyes still holding my gaze.

"I'm happy you're okay. I was worried."

I let you step closer, unsure what you're going to do, but then you kiss me - gentle and sweet, the feeling leaves me lightheaded, like I've downed my drink too fast.

"Worried or horny?", I gasp back and actually have to laugh at your pouty expression.

"Both. You've been distant. I didn't want to force you."

Oh.

Of course the Alpha in you would be touch-starved after two whole weeks of me shying away from basically every bit of physical contact with you.

"Thank you, Haru", I whisper with closed eyes. "I really... needed some time off."

Nodding, you nuzzle my neck and your hands start caressing my sides.

"Do you want to do it?"

I bite my lips and look to the side. Your question has thrown me off completely. I know I can refuse you. I know I can say I'm not in the mood and you'll leave me alone without pushing it. But the prospect of sleeping with you is enough to haze my mind.

Maybe it's just what I need right now.

To feel that you still love me, even after all.

"Yeah, let's do it", I agree quietly and lean forward for another kiss. "But... not here. Bedroom."

You nod and I feel the raging need seeping from every fiber of your body. Maybe I should talk to you if you want to get a second Omega. Maybe that would ease our relationship a little. I see how you sometimes look at the Omegas on our swimteam, even at Eric. Many Alphas your age have three or four partners. Isn't it kind of egoistic of me to expect you to be faithful at your age already? Suddenly, a question rises in my mind and I push you back slightly when you open the bedroom door.

"H-Hey, Haru, can I ask you something?", I gasp and lift my gaze to meet yours.

You purr impatiently and I feel the edge of the bed against my legs, drop down and let out a soft moan when you follow suit, press me into the mattress and start pushing up my shirt just enough to close your lips around one of my nipples.

"Have you... have you ever slept with someone before my heat that night in Iwatobi?", I manage to get out before pleasure takes control of my voice and forbids me any other words than your name, _"more",_ _"shit"_ and _"fuck"._

"No", you respond, flat as always, with a light annoyed hint in your tone. "Of course not. I've always wanted you."

Suddenly, our apartment door opens again and I hear frantic steps coming down the hallway, someone calls your name. You jerk your head up and snarl dangerously. I flinch at the sound. It's meant for the intruder, but still...

"What do you want?", you ask through the closed bedroom door.

Of course we haven't bothered to lock it. Who would interrupt us? But then Danny stands in the doorway, disheveled and panting.

"Haru, you gotta help me out. Eric... Eric forgot to take his pill today, that means I could easily get him pregnant. I need some condoms or something."

You groan, get up from the bed and reach over into your drawer to throw the small bag at Danny you usually keep the condoms in.

"Here. Take care. Don't hurt him."

My arousal from just now is gone at the weird interaction and while I laugh, you fall back down onto the bed with a scowl.

"Hey, it's not my fault. Come here."

While you make me straddle your hips, I run both of my hands over your chest and smile.

"Do you have some sort of kink with me riding you?", I tease and gently grind against your strong thighs. "You always make me do all the work. Do you like it that much?"

"No, it doesn't really feel good for me. Something inside me disagrees. I just heard that most Omegas feel more comfortable when they can be in control of how fast and deep they want to take the Alpha. And everyone says it feels much better this way. Besides, I love watching your face when we do it", you respond easily and my heart forgets to beat for a few seconds straight.

"You... you did that because you wanted me to enjoy it more?"

I almost don't want to believe what I'm hearing. I honestly don't deserve you. Nobody does. I'm starting to wonder what kind of Alphas our teachers and coaches in Samezuka have been referring to. Because my Alpha just confessed that he's been sacrificing his need for control in favour of making sex more pleasurable for me.

"Then I think we should flip the tables for once", I whisper, lean down and roll over until I'm on my back and gently coax you over with a purr. "Come on. Get on top."

I don't have to say _that_ twice. Immediately, you lean over me and I run one hand down your back, tug at the belt loops of your shorts before unbuttoning and unzipping them. Your soft kisses really make my heart beat high in my throat.

"We don't have to go all the way today", you suddenly mutter into my ear and I feel your warm breath gently caressing my skin, rising goosebumps all over my body. "We can just enjoy ourselves."

I always enjoy it to be with you. You've never done anything past my limit, you've always made sure that I'm alright with everything you do. With a soft purr, I open my eyes to look up at you. One of your hands trails down my chest, my abdomen, my thighs, pointedly avoiding to touch me further.

"Haru, don't tease", I sigh, grab your wrist and guide your hand to where I want it.

A light chuckle leaves your lips and I smile in response. This is how I want everything to be. Easy, gentle, loving. My back arches slightly when you finally touch me through the fabric of my shorts and I throw my head against the pillow behind me. For a while, we just lie there on the bed next to eachother, kissing, touching, hands roaming over the other's body, gently brushing fabric out of the way until we're both finally naked and you carefully push me down into the sheets, lips ghosting over my chest. We haven't taken it slow like this for a long time and it's even more intense than during my heat. My nerves are stripped bare and I slowly trail one hand down your body as well.

"I love you, Haru", I mutter huskily.

Deep blue eyes stare at me and all the love one person could possibly feel sweeps over me from your gaze, from your gentle touch and from the kiss you press to my lips.

"You too, Rin."

The pleasure coursing through my veins is growing with every second and I feel my insides clenching, slick pours down my legs, soaks the bedsheets. Your fingers tease me open, push into me, curl against my most sensitive spots until I'm gasping your name. We know eachother too well by now. You know exactly where to curl your fingertips, where to apply pressure, how long to keep up the tension and when to release me. I know what fleeting touches drive you completely nuts, what I have to say to make you go real Alpha, how I have to roll my hips to get you to fuck me harder, faster.

"Hey, H-Haru...", I gasp weakly and you look up, but only for a split second before you return to circling my nipples with your tongue, fingers still buried deep inside me.

"Hmm?"

"Let me do it for you, too", I urge and sit up slightly, forcing you to move away a little.

We share a few deep kisses while I push you back up against the headboard of the bed and kiss a sweet trail down your body until I've settled between your legs. Your hand keeps gently brushing through my hair and I lower my head, part my lips with a deep breath and slowly wrap my lips around your cock. Your heavy sigh is enough to make me smirk while I run my tongue around the lenght of your shaft and experimentally start purring low in my throat. Your whole body jolts at the vibrations.

"Keep... keep doing that, Rin, don't stop, don't..."

Your hand stroking my hair cramps down a little and I squint when your claws accidentally dig into my scalp, but the pain isn't unpleasant. I try to breathe easier and relax my throat, but you're so fucking big, it makes me tremble everytime. How the hell do I manage to take all of you and even your knot when I'm in heat? Just the thought of having you inside me again is enough to send another wave of slick dripping down my legs and I squirm in your lap.

"Are you okay? Rin, you don't have to do this, you know that."

I slowly pull away and wipe my saliva-coated lips with the back of my hand. It's embarrassing how hot and bothered the thought of your dick in my ass can get me.

"I know you said you weren't planning to go all the way", I start hesitantly and a deep blush creeps onto my cheeks, "but... I want... Haru, please, can we..."

You grab my shoulders, push me onto my back and my breath hitches in excitement when you blindly reach out your hand towards the bedside table drawer, but then you click your tongue in annoyance.

"Damn..."

Right, Danny and Eric. We don't have any condoms here at the moment. I groan and close my eyes. I've really been looking forward to sleeping with you now...

But it seems my hopes won't be crushed this easily.

Before I can even complain about anything, your lips suddenly press against mine and my eyes fly open when I feel you settling between my legs.

"Haru? Haru wait, wait, oh shit, fuck, ahh! Fucking hell, Haru!"

It feels like it's been years since we've had sex without a condom. Your heated skin against mine is more than enough to send my head spinning and I get dizzy when you gently, very gently push deeper into me.

"It's fine, Rin, it's alright, just relax. Does it hurt?", you pant, still scattering kisses over my face, my neck, my throat, my collarbone and chest. "Tell me if I'm hurting you."

I shake my head, my claws dig into your shoulder as I wrap my legs around your waist in a desperate attempt to get you to hurry up, to just finally fuck me.

"It doesn't hurt, it... it feels so good, Haru, go deeper, come on, I can... I can take more, I want more, come on!"

You stall for a second, but then you throw your hesitation overboard and start thrusting into me, still gentle, but definitely hard enough to drive me crazy. My arms coil around your neck and I drag you down for a violently desperate kiss. I've wanted this for so long, maybe not consciously, but now that I get to have you again, I realize how much I've missed this. The loving feeling of your embrace, of the glowing warmth in my chest as you kiss me hard enough to bruise my lips.

"Rin, you feel so good", your voice whines softly when I bury my hands in your hair with slack jaw and half-lidded eyes. "I love you. So much."

Every word is emphasized by a rough thrust that lets me see stars and colorful splotches and I grab the bedsheets instead, bite my lips until they're bloody, cry out your name in an attempt to somehow voice this pleasure that has taken me over completely by the time you lean down and stroke my face, eyes wide and dark with lust.

"I don't know i-if I can hold back any... any longer today, Rin, I'm... I'm sorry, I..."

"Don't!", I gasp breathlessly and lift my hips to meet your thrusts. "Don't hold back, Haru, you don't have to, you can-"

Suddenly, the world stutters on its axis and my vision cracks like breaking glass. The climax washes over me out of the blue and it's strong enough to throw me into a crimson red spiral of pleasure that sends me straight to the bottom of my consciousness while I scream your name and hold you as close as somehow possible. You come at the exact same moment, choking on your own voice as you fill me up to the brim and tears spring to my eyes at the sensation.

We collapse onto eachother and I can't even open my eyes anymore. Breathing heavily, you gently kiss my jaw, the side of my neck, my shoulder.

"Rin, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Are you hurt?"

"I'm... I'm fine", I whisper weakly. "I'm even better than fine. You are... holy shit, you're amazing. That was... fucking awesome."

A content purr rises into your throat and your scent turns warm and comforting, almost as if you want to lull me to sleep. And honestly, I don't even want to resist. Sleep sounds good after our fun right now. You tug the bedsheets over our bodies and even though I scrunch up my face at the thought of not being able to clean up first, I don't want to go take a shower either. Right now, all I want is to stay here with you.

\- - - - - -

The tournaments start and we're doing good.

International level, first and second place in the 100 m freestyle. Of course I can't catch up to you, no matter how hard I train. I secure myself the first place in the 100 m butterfly though, and the medley relay is a full success. Me, you and Danny compete together, one of our teammates fills in for Eric, who's up in the bleachers with the rest of our team, still on his period and grumpy that he can't swim with us today. Instead, he blows Danny a kiss when he sees him stepping up for his part of the relay.

"Hey babe, you can do it!", he screams down at us.

I grin when I see my best friend blush like there's no tomorrow, waving his middle finger at Eric before he bows down to ready himself. We make the second place of fourteen colleges and when we've returned to the changing room, Eric bounces in, hugs Danny, showers him with kisses and assures us that we'll win next time with the four of us forming a team. Our coaches, especially Mike, have worked really hard to put us all into the relay team.

"Bonded couples work better", Mike always says with a laugh when our exchanges go smoothly once again. "Even better if both couples are on good terms."

I towel off my hair and step outside, still topless, to see our trainers wait for us in the main hall. With them are Sebastian, Liv and Wendy and two men are standing near them too, who look over at me when I appear in the doorway. Sebastian waves me over, grinning widely.

"Rin, come here for a second!"

I comply, curiously step closer and eye the two guys next to him with both arms crossed in front of my chest. One of them pushes up his glasses while the other scans me from top to bottom with a friendly smile.

"Hello, Rin. Can we call you Rin?"

I nod and my eyes narrow slightly.

"Sure. What's up?"

Usually, I wouldn't be so cocky - those are Alphas, two mighty confident Alphas in dark suits and ties - but Sebastian is with me and he will protect me. I feel safe around him.

"I'm Derek, this is Toby. We're from an American organisation that is focussing on successful Omegas all around the world to help bring attention to the unbelievable potential Omega athletes offer. We want to let countries that still forbid Omegas from making it to world class know what they're missing out on and we thought, you were the perfect example for a Japanese top athlete", the man with the glasses says sternly and grasps his suitcase tighter. "If you keep the good work up, we would like to sponsor you. Ms. White here has offered to take care of your finances."

Wendy nods proudly and I look from her back to the man. She studies marketing and accounting at the Sydney university and if I trust one person to handle my money, then it's her.

"That... would actually be great", I say carefully. "But will it require me to do anything? Commercials for your organisation or something?"

Both men look at eachother for a moment, then Toby speaks up. He looks much more relaxed than his colleague - tie loosened, shirt not even tucked into his black slacks, one hand in his pocket, the other holding a cigarette.

"We would do a photoshoot with you, take a few nice pictures and of course you'll get a notification for every magazine or brochure we use the photos in", he explains and his voice makes something inside me clench in weird way. "Would that be alright?"

The rest of my teammates has filed out of the changing room by now and I hear you and Danny chat. Sebastian excuses himself and walks off to talk to you as well while I'm left alone with the two men.

"Well, if it's just that." I shrug with an easy grin. "I'm really glad I managed to impress you guys. And I'm sure my times will improve once the training regimen starts to get harder. I'm on a new diet, too."

Derek nods and pulls a small card from his pocket. I take it with both hands and look down at it. It's the name of the organisation with a golden Omega sign adorning it and a number written on the bottom of it.

"Then we have a deal. We will contact you soon to tell you where and when we'd like to meet you to sign the contract and when the photoshooting will take place. Everything regarding the finances and the bank account will be talked through with Ms. White."

I nod in agreement and just when Derek and Toby turn away, I feel your arms coil around my waist.

"What did they want?"

"Sponsor me", I respond with a smile, bend my arm backwards and gently scratch your neck. "That means we'll have a little more money and a few less worries. Sounds good?"

"Sounds perfect", you agree and kiss my neck.

Toby suddenly turns around as if he's forgotten something and when he sees you standing behind me, glowering at him from across my shoulder, his expression turns from lighthearted to surprised to suspicious, but he just nods at me and follows Derek outside. I look after him a little thoughtfully. Is it a problem that I have an Alpha? But Sebastian must've told them. There's no way he hasn't mentioned you at all. Or that they haven't seen me kiss you in between our races. But then I decide to throw the concerns out the window. If it bothers them that I'm in a relationship, they'll tell me soon enough. Sebastian stalks back over and roughly ruffles my hair.

"Hey golden boy, told you you'd be much more happy in Australia!", he teases. "Now you even got yourself the first sponsor. A few more wins and they'll start lining up to throw money at you! And to celebrate that, dinner's on me tonight. I'll take you guys out! Call Danny and Eric over, we're all going to a nice restaurant."

He holds out both hands and Liv and Wendy bolt forward to take them, giggling like little schoolgirls. My two best friends follow, Eric's arm is wrapped loosely around Danny's waist, his hand tucked into the Alpha's back pocket. I nudge your shoulder slightly and you smile at me before your hand gently brushes mine and our fingers intertwine as we walk out into the hot October sun, towards the cars, ready to spend a nice evening out together as friends, celebrating our victory.


	17. Chapter 17

My phone rings in the middle of class and I quickly excuse myself while Eric just throws me a curious glance. I walk outside onto the quiet corridor and answer the call.

"Hello?"

The voice ringing through the speaker is somewhat familiar but I can't quite place it.

"Is this Rin Matsuoka? Here speaks Toby from Golden Stage, the organisation from America that has offered to sponsor you. Are you free to talk?"

I clutch the phone a little tighter. Holy shit, I'm so excited for this. A real sponsor means more people will notice me and that means even more sponsors. I can't mess this up.

"Yeah, I'm at school right now, but I should be able to talk for a while", I say while my stomach flips.

"Great!", Toby chimes, sounding truly excited. "I wanted to tell you the date and place of our meeting. We thought about tonight at the restaurant Grande Milano. It's just a short drive away from the university you're attending, so you should be able to get there fairly easy. Does eight o'clock sound good to you?"

I check my watch. It's four in the afternoon, once I'm done with practice for the day, it'll be around seven. If I have an hour to shower, dress up and get there, I'll be fine.

"Perfect. Just one question", I remember suddenly. "I forgot to ask the last time we met because I figured you already knew, but just for playing it safe... it's okay that I'm in a relationship with an Alpha, right?"

Toby hesitates for a moment.

"That's... that's fine, I guess. We don't really mind, we've sponsored mated Omegas before."

"Oh, we're not mated yet", I chuckle. "We decided to take it slow with that. For now, we're just boyfriends."

His mood changes faster than I can even process it.

"That's great! Makes things much easier for us", he tells me, almost sounding relieved. "See you tonight, then?"

I agree and we say our Goodbyes, then I return to class. Of course Eric wants to know everything as soon as we're out of school for the day and on our way to meet up with you and Danny by the pool. We have quite a schedule to work down during training today and Mike, who has taken to coach me personally, really drills me this afternoon until I'm completely exhausted. Only on our drive home, I finally get the chance to talk to you.

"Hey, Haru?", I ask softly and run my hand over your thigh. "Would you mind if I borrow the car tonight? I have a meeting with that guy who works for the organisation who wants to sponsor me."

You look over at me for a moment, then your gaze trails back to the street before us.

"I don't mind. Will you be out long?"

"Nah, I reckon not. We'll just talk a little about the contract and then maybe arrange an appointment for the photoshooting."

At that, you perk up a little more and adjust your grip on the steering wheel.

"Photoshooting?"

I nod.

"Yeah, they want to do a photoshooting with me so they can use the pictures in their magazines or whatever."

You stop the car in front of our apartment and we get out, walk up the stairs and you sigh in disappointment.

"Means you will have to shower before I can take my bath, right? I'll just make something to eat in the meantime."

I actually feel bad for leaving you to have dinner by yourself tonight, but it's just this one time, I try to comfort myself. After quickly rinsing myself off and tying my hair back, I clean up a little and get dressed in a pair of my uniforms slacks and a dress shirt as well as a dark tuxedo.

"I'm heading out!", I call into the kitchen. "See you later, baby!"

You don't even respond. Probably still pouty and upset about me going to dinner without you, but I don't know if Toby expects me to bring you along or not in the first place. Lucky me that uncle Tom has taught me to drive his pick-up truck soon enough. Even though I don't have a legal license yet, I know how to handle a car. Usually, I let you do the driving anyway, so if I just take your car once, nothing bad will happen. I throw myself into the driver's seat, switch on the engine and speed off. The restaurant is fancy - just what I've expected.

But when I enter and tell the hostess my name, she leads me to a table for two where Toby is already waiting, smiling when he spots me. I scowl. Why is he alone? I've expected to see him and maybe Derek or one of his superiors...

"Good evening, Rin", he greets me, gets up and shakes my hand while the hostess excuses herself.

I feel my cheeks heating up when Toby pulls out my chair for me and waits until I'm seated until he returns to his side of the table. I know some Alphas feel required to treat Omegas special, but you've never done anything like that for me and seeing a stranger do it now makes me feel kind of awkward. Suddenly, he winks and reaches for something on the ground. It's a thin black envelope with the Omega sign of the organisation painted on it and a single, crimson red rose.

"T-Thanks", I stutter and carefully take the rose as well as the envelope. "What's the reason for the effort?"

Toby just shrugs, watching me with a gentle smile.

"You deserve it. You did well and you work hard everyday. I feel like that should be validated from time to time. You can order what you want tonight, my treat."

God, he's really sweet. I laugh and carefully tuck the rose into my tuxedo as a boutonniére.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. Is this the contract?", I ask, pointing at the envelope and Toby nods.

"Take a look."

I open the black seal and pull the contract out. It's neat and organized - I get what it's about pretty quickly. After carefully reading through every single line, I nod.

"Sounds good so far. Do you want me to sign it immediately?"

Toby laughs and gently pulls the papers from my hands, puts them aside and waves one of the waiters over.

"Let's have dinner first, chat a little and you can think it over. Take all the time you need, we're in no rush", he says with a small wink.

Dinner sounds nice. I'm starving after today and once we've gotten our food, we get to talking pretty quickly. Toby tells me about his work and we discuss the current situation of Omegas in Japan for a little. He shares most of my opinions and it's really easy to talk to him. His hazel eyes are shining warmly when I tell him about my family, about Sosuke, Danny and Eric, Sebastian, Liv and Wendy, only when I mention your name, he gets a little distant.

"You know, you're both still so young", Toby says after a while, takes a sip from his wine glass. "Alphas his age rarely stay faithful."

I straighten up and look at him sternly.

"What are you trying to tell me? That Haru is going to cheat on me?"

He quickly shakes his head and puts the glass back down after staring into the translucent, yellowish liquid that shimmers in the light of the chandelier above us.

"I'm just saying that it's common in Australia for young Alphas to have more than one Omega. They are too instinct-driven, you know. Older Alphas tend to focus more on emotions than animalistic urges."

He looks up at me for a moment, then lowers his gaze back to his plate and takes the last bite from his food. I follow his example and thoughtfully play with the fork in my hand. He's literally pointing out what I've been assuming all the time. Maybe you're not satisfied with just me? I mean, we do it three or four times a week, but maybe you want more? I have no idea how an Alpha feels about stuff like that. I should really gather some informations from Danny. You two always hang out together, maybe you've complained to him about missing something in our relationship. I'll ask Danny soon.

"Now, what do you say?", Toby asks and puts his silverware down. "Will you sign the contract? Can we count on you?"

I flinch a little, so suddenly jerked out of my thoughts, but then I nod.

"Umm... yeah, sure. Sounds great."

He laughs a little and leans forward. I back away in surprise when his face comes dangerously close to mine, but then he just places a pen in front of me and pushes the contract towards me.

"Perfect. Let me order two glasses of sparkling wine to celebrate our deal, how about that?"

The waiter who's cleared the table in the meantime nods with a smile at us both and hurries off, only to return with two delicate glasses, filled with a pinkish, sparkling liquid.

"Strawberry prosecco", Toby explains at my curious glance and lifts his glass. "It's really good, try it."

There's a bright clinking sound when I lightly tip my glass against his own and we both take a sip. He's right - it really is delicious. Quickly signing the contract, I put it back into the envelope, hand it to Toby and he puts it back into his suitcase.

"Wonderful, just wonderful. The photoshooting will be held soon then. Would a Saturday be okay for you? I'll send you the adress, date and time per mail."

I nod and empty my glass.

"I'm fine with that. Still, I need to get going now, Haru is probably waiting for me already. I promised him I would be home soon", I admit sheepishly with a light chuckle.

Somehow, stuff like champagne and prosecco gets to me far easier than whiskey or beer. When I get up, Toby is by my side in an instant and takes my arm.

"You're tipsy already, from what little wine and prosecco we had with dinner?", he teases. "Come on, I'll take you outside and we'll walk for a bit before I let you drive home. The fresh air will do you good."

I let him guide me over to the exit, watch as he pays the bill and returns to me with a smile. We leave the restaurant and slowly stroll down the sidewalk. His hand still rests on my arm, but I don't really bother. I do feel a little lightheaded, he's right.

"You know, Rin, you're a nice guy", he suddenly says very softly and we stop in the light of a street lamp. "I'd like to see you again sometimes."

"Sure. Just come to the photoshoot, why not? We can have a drink or two afterwards. I promise, I can hold my liquor better when it's hard stuff."

I giggle and his grip on me tightens a little.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I'm looking forward to it."

I just want to step towards your car - when his hands cup my face and keep me in place while his lips press against mine. For a moment, I don't even realize what's going on, but then I push one hand against his chest in a desperate attempt to get him off of me. I'm kissing another man! Okay, basically it's just him kissing me, but still! With a gasp, I back away and stare at him with wide eyes.

"What are you... what is... I have a boyfriend! Haru will kill you if he-"

"Stop talking about him like it's already established that you'll mate and marry one day", Toby interrupts me a little impatiently. "He's too young for you, Rin, when are you going to realize that? One day he'll get another Omega and then you're going to be alone and heartbroken. I don't want that. You deserve better. Let me take you out again. Let's meet tomorrow night. I can show you a much better time than he'll ever can, I promise. And if you still feel like you want to be with him after tomorrow, then I'll leave you alone."

I burst into nervous laughter and reach one hand out to unlock the car door behind me.

"You're nuts! I love Haru and I wouldn't cheat on him for anything in this world!"

With that, I get into the driver's seat and head off. My head is spinning. Cheating on you... The thought alone makes me want to vomit. How could I ever do something as disgusting as cheat on you? I hit the brakes in front of our apartment complex. Danny and Eric's balcony door is open and I hear them laughing, arguing, the sound of a video game. My hand holding the keys is trembling as I shove them into the lock, step into our flat and lean my back against the wall with a deep breath.

"Rin?", your voice asks as you round the corner and look at me.

Your familiar, welcoming scent makes me relax instantly and I step towards you, wrap both arms around your middle and pull you into a firm embrace.

"Hi babe", I mutter into your messy black hair.

It's still a little damp from the bath you've probably taken until now and I bask in the warmth your body is radiating like I've been freezing the whole evening long. I just want to tell you about the dinner and the freaky ending of it when all of a sudden, the nausea that's been clawing at my throat before gets overwhelming and I try to force down the bitter taste rising into my mouth, but it's to no use.

"Are you alright?"

Your question answers itself. I bolt past you, into the bathroom, and barely make it over to the toilet when my stomach already decides that today's dinner hasn't been to its liking at all. Through the digusting feeling of acid burning my throat and mouth from within, I sense you brushing my hair out of the way, your hand calmingly rubbing my back. My stomach keeps contracting violently, forcing everything up and out until my face is dripping with sweat and tears and my insides have settled a little. I drop back against the wall and close my eyes with a dry, shaky sob.

"Do you feel any better?", your voice asks and I feel you wiping my mouth, the sound of water running echoes from the tiled walls and then a glass is being pushed into my hand.

You help me to get up and I blindly reach out for my toothbrush by the sink. I need to get this repulsive taste out of my mouth. After I've cleaned up sufficiently, I wash my face and hands and turn around.

"Rin, did something happen?"

You're still with me in the bathroom and of course you want to know what's wrong. I shudder slightly but shake the thought of Toby off. It was just a mistake. A single mistake he's made. There's no point in making you angry or even jealous now. My stomach still feels upset, but I decide to ignore it for the time being. All I want is to go to sleep. 

"I don't know why I got sick all of a sudden", I avoid your question and run one hand over my face. "Maybe I ate something bad. I'll go to bed for tonight."

You nod slowly and watch as I leave the bathroom. Cold sweat covers my forehead and I wipe it away before stripping off my clothes and throwing them onto the dresser, then I crawl into bed and wrap the blankets around me. It'll probably be better by tomorrow. While I'm drifting off to sleep, you start folding the clothes I've not bothered to place down neatly. Your fingers toy with the red rose for a moment, then you grab it and throw it to the ground in front of the bed.

\- - - - - -

I've never slept through my alarm before. I'm an early riser - I usually hate staying in bed for longer than absolutely necessary in the morning, but today, it's Danny who wakes me up by coming over to my side of the bed and shaking me until I open my eyes with a sleepy sigh.

"What?", I slur and bury my face deeper in the pillows. "What are you doing here so early?"

"Early?", Danny scoffs and slams the snooze-button on my still beeping alarm clock. "I've been waiting almost half an hour for you already! Why didn't you show up? We were supposed to go for our run, remember?"

I sit up hastily and my gaze falls upon my watch. Fuck, it's already seven thirty in the morning. We need to get dressed and pack our stuff, we have class in half an hour! I lean over to you and want to wake you up as well, but as soon as I do, my muscles give out as if on cue and I curl back into the bedsheets.

"Mm... don't wanna get up yet...", I mumble to nobody in particular as if the clocks will magically start turning backwards to let me sleep some more.

"Ey, Rin, stop bitching and move your ass!", Danny urges impatiently and kneels down by the edge of the bed to tear the blankets off of me. "We already missed our run and now we have to hurry to make it to class in time!"

Growling darkly, I curl up against your warm body and out of instinct or because you've woken up from all the commotion, your arm wraps around me. Danny backs away, not wanting to make it seem like he's up for a fight, but I notice that he's getting annoyed now.

"Rin!"

I don't know what's up with me today myself, but I know that I sure as hell don't want to leave my bed. Or your side.

"Go alone", I mutter, voice muffled by the fabric of your sleeping shirt. "I'll join you again tomorrow."

Throwing his hands up in exasperation, Danny turns around and stomps off while I shift even closer to you. We'll sleep in today, I decide. It's nice to just lay in bed with you, I could really get used to this. The nausea from yesterday has long since vanished, but I'm exhausted. Even as I doze off for another hour or two in your embrace, it don't feel well-rested at all. 

"Shouldn't we be at school?", you ask quietly when noon comes around and leave a soft kiss on my bare neck.

"I'm tired", I whimper. "I'm so fucking tired, Haru."

You sit up a little and run one hand through my hair, but then you frown and gently press your wrist against my forehead.

"You're feverish. Are you getting sick?"

"But I have to go to training today", I suddenly remember. "Mike said we were going to do a few extra hours, I can't miss that!"

With a soft sigh, you watch me as I stand up, walk over to the closet and throw on my tracksuit.

"Do what you want. I'll go to the beach later. See you then."

As I get ready for afternoon practice, I feel my headache getting worse and worse, but I convince myself that it'll be better once I've gotten some fresh air and exercise. The walk to school takes me longer than usual because every single one of my steps make me dizzier and by the time I arrive on campus, I'm ready to lie down and sleep literally anywhere. But as soon as I've set foot into the pool hall, Eric bolts towards me as if he's been waiting, Danny trailing behind him with an exasperated, fond smile.

"Rin!", Eric yells excitedly. "Guess what? Dario just sent me a message! He's inviting us all over on Thursday evening for a private Halloween party at Kittens!"

Right, it's only two days until Halloween... I groan and lift one hand up to rub my temple.

"That's cool, that's great, can you get out of my face now, I don't really-"

"Rin?"

Mike steps up to me with a scowl and gently grabs my shoulder while examining me closely. I waver a little and lean against Eric to keep my balance. Why am I so tired today?

"What are you doing here?", my coach asks and his voice is dripping with concern. "When you didn't show up with Danny and Eric this morning and they told me they couldn't get you out of bed, I hoped you'd finally go into heat today and get it over with for this month so we can focus on your training without having to worry about it starting in the middle of class or practice."

My... heat? I frown and feel Eric's body tensing up next to me. It's almost November already, I should've gone into heat at least ten days ago, I realize all of a sudden and that's when it seems to dawn on Eric too.

I've missed my heat in October.

And not just my heat, but my period too.

We all stare at eachother - Eric, Mike, Danny and me - then Eric slowly reaches out to cup my face with both hands, claws digging into my hair almost painfully.

"Rin, did you go into heat without telling Haru? Did you hide it from him? Rin, tell me the truth! Did you go into heat this month? Don't lie to me!"

I feel myself tearing up and grasp his wrist in return.

"No, no, I didn't, I swear!", I yell back, horrified. "I didn't hide it from him, I just... I just didn't go into heat! I swear, I'm not lying, I'm not lying! I'm telling the truth, Eric, I promise, I'm not lying!"

My legs are shaking too much and I sink to my knees, the world seems to turn into a mess of blurry colours and noises. Someone lightly touches my cheek, calls my name, but all I can do is wrap my free arm around my middle and double over with tears falling from my eyes. Mike says something and I see him taking out his phone, but Eric yells at him and drops down next to me, wraps both arms around me and starts stroking my hair.

"Oh Rin, that's wonderful, that's so great! Rin, maybe you're pregnant! Holy shit, oh shit, fuck, oh fuck, Rin, maybe you'll have a baby!"

I press my face against his bare chest and squeeze my eyes shut. How is that possible? How is it possible that I'm pregnant? I shouldn't even be able to have children!

"But... but how...? The doctor said... he said I... I would never have kids!", I stutter weakly and look up at my best friend.

I want to believe I am pregnant, I _really_ want to, but I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll be hurt if I don't really am. I'm scared of hoping for something that will most likely not come true. But Eric beams so brightly and Danny grins like there's no tomorrow and I can't help but crack a smile at them. They help me back to my feet and even though I'm still exhausted, the adrenaline rush has kicked my ass enough for me to be fully conscious now.

"Come on, let's make you take a pregnancy test!", Eric urges and turns around to Danny. "Hey, grab our bags and let's go!"

"Y-Yeah, sure!"

Danny spins around and rushes off to the changing room, only to return seconds later with his and Eric's bags, struggling to drag his shirt on in the process.

"I'll drive", he offers with a warm smile. "You guys chat for a while. I'm sure Eric knows more about this than I do."

We all get into Eric's silver cabrio and Danny revs up the engine before driving off to town. There's not much traffic in the afternoon and we get to the pharmacy pretty quickly. My hand is still resting on my stomach, rubbing gentle circles into the skin. Eric's scent is sweeter than ever while he curls into my side and purrs happily.

"God, I'm so excited to find out if you really are pregnant", he mutters and I laugh, rest my head against his shoulder.

"Me too."

"Okay lovebirds, you want to come along or should I just hop in there and grab a test?", Danny asks while he turns the key and leans over his seat to look at us.

We agree on going together and step out of the car. The pharmacy is air-conditioned and we all breathe a sigh of relief when we get out of the scorching heat. Eric immediately drags me over to the pregnancy tests for male Omegas and carefully reads over the instructions. I flinch back slightly when I see the weird construction, but Eric keeps me firmly in place.

"Don't chicken out Rin, I know you don't like needles, but it says it only requires a few seconds to draw enough blood for the test", he scolds me, grabs two of the tests and pulls me over to the checkout.

Danny sighs and shakes his head in amusement before he follows us slowly. The cashier gives us a warm smile.

"Ohh, expecting a baby?", she asks while printing out the receipt. "What a lovely family you'll make!"

I look at her in surprise, but then I realize how it must look to her. An Alpha and two Omegas, all three beaming and fidgety with excitement, buying a pregnancy test. But Eric just grins at the woman and winks before taking my arm again and walking towards the exit.

"We still have to find out if there's going to be a cute little addition, but thanks. Have a great day!"

He's acting like an impatient toddler who's been allowed to get a cool toy while out shopping with his mom and is now desperate to get home and try it out. Danny takes the wheel again and I can't help but laugh when Eric won't stop shifting in his seat until we're home.

"It feels like you're even more eager to find out than I am!", I tease him and he sticks his tongue out.

"Screw you!"

"Shut up and get out of the car or I'll slap you both", Danny suddenly chimes in and only then do I realize that we're home already.

We walk up to the front door of our apartment and I unlock the door. Eric bolts inside and suddenly, I realize how glad I am that my two best friends are so happy for me. I mean, they could be pushing me away, giving me shit for it, but here they are, almost trembling with excitement. I sit down on the couch and watch as Eric opens the plastic sealment of the first test. I take a deep breath when I see the needle, but Danny joins me and completely against his usual distancy behaviour, wraps one arm around me for comfort.

"It's alright. We'll make it quick. Close your eyes and think about your baby."

A smile spreads across my lips at those words and I obey, try to block out the feeling of the needle being pushed into my arm and clutch my stomach a little tighter.

My baby.

Our baby.

A quiet beeping noise makes me open my eyes and Eric pulls the second needle out of my flesh again.

"There, all done", he says and ruffles my hair proudly. "You did great, Rin."

I can't even breathe. I'm scared to look down at the pregnancy tests, fearing they might show only one line, crushing my hopes again - but then Eric suddenly runs one hand over my stomach and I can hear him laugh quietly.

"Hey, don't look so scared. It's fine, it's alright. Everything is okay and you're pregnant, Daddy."

I jolt, reach out one trembling hand for the tests and almost break down completely when I see the two lines on both that have formed so clearly that there's no doubt.

I'm pregnant.

I'll be having your baby.

Sobbing, I curl up on the couch and clutch the tests even tighter.

"Oh shit, oh fucking shit, Eric, I'm... I... I'll be having a child!", I cry out and lunge forward to hug my best friend who catches me with ease and squeezes me as tight as somehow possible.

"Yes, you big crybaby, that's what I just told you!", he laughs.

My next thought is you. I have to call you. I want to tell you that we're going to be parents. I want to tell you that we'll be having a child. I need to talk to you.

"Haru", I mutter into the warm comfort of Eric's hug. "I need to call Haru. He has to know it too. Let go of me, let go, I need... I need to call him now!"

But my best friend snorts and lightly shakes his head.

"That's not the way to tell him! Break it to him gently, will you? And if you feel unsure about how he'll react, I'll stay with you. Danny, too. We won't let you do it alone."

I look up at him and this time, it's my turn to laugh.

"Eric, he literally went crazy the first time I thought I'd gotten pregnant. If he finds out that we'll be having a baby together now, he'll lose his shit completely. And I don't mean that in the bad way."

He exhales in relief and nods before releasing me. But he's given me a good idea. I just have to go out one more time for that.

"Thanks for being there for me, guys", I say softly and look from Eric back to Danny. "I have something in mind now, so I'll drive to town for a while. If Haru gets back and asks about me, tell him I'm still at practice or something."

They grin at me and Eric winks.

"I sense your romantic side coming up. But alright, go ahead. We'll make sure that Daddy number two doesn't find out anything until you're back."

I grab my car keys from the dresser in the hallway and rush outside. I have to go to the mall.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _**WARNING!**_  
MAJOR NON-CONSENSUAL SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS CHAPTER!

The front door opens and I perk up, but try to stay calm nevertheless. I know my scent will give me away in an instant. Hopefully, you're tired enough to overlook it for a while.

"Rin, are you home?"

I hear you put your jacket away, your steps slowly come down the hallway.

"Yeah, I'm in the bedroom!", I call back to you.

Then, I tie my hair back and pull the wide sleeping shirt over my head. Suddenly, you're standing in the doorway and I turn around with a soft smile. My heart is racing in my chest, beating so hard that I fear it might explode.

"Hi. You were out longer than I expected you to be."

My greeting remains unheeded as your eyes slowly trail up and down my body.

"Are you feeling better?", you ask instead and step closer. "I was worried. Has your fever gone down?"

I nod and place one hand on your back to tug you towards me.

"Yep. I'm feeling much better. Great, even. How was your day?"

You don't answer. Instead, your lips push onto mine and I feel a surge of heat washing over my body when you devour me greedily without letting me breathe once. Our tongues slide against eachother and I let myself sink down onto the bed behind me, hoping you'll finally spot what I've put there for you. But the only thing on your mind seems to be me - for the moment, at least. You follow suit, one knee pressed into the edge of the mattress as you mirror my every movement to keep the kiss going.

"Haru", I gasp softly and ease myself out of our grip. "I'm still tired. Can we take it slow today?"

You heave a short sigh and roll your hips against my thigh.

"No. I can't wait."

The look in your eyes is alien to me - they've never reflected so much raw hunger. I feel like I'm staring at a starving animal, not at my boyfriend. My mind is running wild. What's wrong with you? For a moment, I'm frantically trying to figure out what could possibly cause you to act like this. And then it hits me.

"You're going into rut", I mutter with a relieved sigh. "Nothing else. God, you freaked me out for a second."

You just purr approvingly and I notice the light tremble in your body. I've been wondering for a while now if you just haven't gone into rut while we've been together or if you just haven't told me. And to be honest: I've been a little scared, too. Even though you haven't ever been violent before, I don't know what a sudden rut could do to you. Ruts are unpredictable - nothing you can keep track of like an Omega's heats. Maybe it's because I've missed my heat this month? Maybe you're going into rut because we haven't been able to spend our usual four days of incessant shagging together... Either way, I need to help you. It would be torture to refuse you now. Telling you about my little surprise can wait.

"Okay, come here", I mutter softly, push my shorts down and reach out for you. "Come here, Haru."

Your hands sneak their way underneath my shirt and your lips hungrily press against my neck.

"Rin... you smell good... like you're happy..."

I arch my back into your touch and lift my hips to meet yours. The hardness between your legs makes me take deeper breaths. To my surprise though, you've still got enough sense to reach over to the bedside table and grab one of the condoms from there, but I catch your wrist mid-movement and avoid your gaze while my cheeks flush bright red.

"We... we don't need a condom tonight, Haru."

Your eyes narrow a little and I exhale shakily.

"What? What do you mean?", you ask, voice strained with need.

I sense that you would much rather just drop the question and take care of the aching fever your skin is radiating, but you hold back. Without really answering, I point over to your side of the bed and your gaze finally falls upon what's sitting there.

It's a small, blue box with a red ribbon tied around it.

"A present?"

I nod awkwardly and watch as you reach out to take it.

"What for?"

"N-Nothing special, really", I answer, still blushing. "I just thought... you would appreciate the gift."

Humming thoughtfully, you untie the ribbon and take the lid off. I firmly squeeze my eyes shut and pray to all Gods and deities who might or might not exist that you will be happy. That you'll actually be excited for our baby. That you won't get mad at me.

"Rin...?"

Your voice makes me look up for a split second. An unreadable expression is plastered across your face while you gently lift the pair of tiny shoes and the pacifier out of the box. Will you even understand what I'm trying to tell you? Should I have made it more obvious? Then your eyes wander over to the lid of the box you've placed next to it and I see you bite your lips when you spot the positive pregnancy tests I've taped to it.

At last, you look back at me and my heart threatens to stop any second now. I wish you would say something. Or ask me if I'm serious. Or yell at me. Or get up and leave.

You do nothing like that.

Instead, you move back over to me and run one hand down my stomach as gently as possible - it's almost as if you fear I'll shatter like glass beneath your touch.

"Rin... Rin, you're pregnant? You really are pregnant?"

I nod slowly and lift both arms to wrap them around your neck while you stare down at me with wide eyes and keep stroking the still firm muscles of my abdomen.

"Yeah. I took the tests today after Mike pointed out that I haven't gone into heat this month. We... we're going to be parents, Haru. We'll have a baby", I whisper and it seems like those words make the string snap that keeps you and your sanity connected.

Your kisses make my head spin so violently that I don't know what's happening anymore, but I've never felt so engulfed in your love before. No idea how often you make me come this night, but at some point, my throat is dry and sore from screaming your name and if you're not thrusting into me then you're between my legs, making me go absolutely crazy with your lips, tongue and fingers.

And between all the kisses, the only words I always hear clearly from the mess of moans, gasps, screams and please, are _"I love you, Rin"._

\- - - - - -

I blink into our dimly lit room and just when I want to shift a little to get more comfortable, I feel the heavy weight on my body.

"Haru?", I ask sleepily and prop myself up onto my elbows.

The sigh I'm met with makes my heart melt into a puddle on the floor. You're curled up next to my stomach, one hand protectively placed right on top of it. You're still fast asleep and I lay back down too, close my eyes and rub my face with a low groan.

We're really going to be fathers.

Oh my God.

In nine months, we'll have a baby and I don't have the slightest bit of knowledge about pregnancy, childbirth or even how to care for a kid. I need to call Mom. She can help me out. Shit, I will have to break it to so many people! Mom and Gou, Sosuke, Lori, Russell, Sebastian, Wendy, Liv... And what will I even do with my career? I won't be able to swim soon! We will need more money, we need a bigger apartment, we need so much stuff for the baby!

"Precious, you're making me worry before you're even close to being here", I mutter softly and place my hand on yours.

You stir from the light touch and I see your deep blue eyes opening slowly. I smile and move a little so I'm lying on my side while you lean up and straighten your back after sleeping in that cramped position.

"Morning Haru."

Formerly calm and sleep-hazed, your scent suddenly changes into something much more agitated and I can't help but laugh when you wrap both arms around me, roll over until I'm on top of you and your hands gently stroke my stomach.

"Rin, you were serious, right? You're actually pregnant?", you ask with trembling voice and I huff in amusement.

"That's what the tests say. I didn't want to believe it either, but... yeah, looks like I'll be having your baby, Nanase."

Your face lights up with a smile I haven't seen on you for a long time and you sit up, grasp my chin and tilt it towards you for a deep kiss. My cheeks actually hurt from grinning so much and when you stroke my stomach again. Why am I worrying so much? I'm not in this alone. I have a beautiful, strong Alpha by my side who will be the best father a child could ever wish for and who already is the perfect boyfriend.

"How far along do you think you are?", you suddenly mutter and the question throws me off.

Actually, I have no idea. Let's see. I know they count the weeks of a pregnancy starting from the first day of your last period, so that would be the 25th of September... I sit back a little in your lap and start counting.

"If I'm right", I finally state, hesitant, "then I've started the fifth week today."

You nod slowly.

"I still don't understand. We've always used condoms. And... you're not supposed to..."

I know what you want to say and quickly silence you with another kiss before I pull back and run one hand through your hair.

"There's a 95% chance that I won't be able to bear children. Guess we got lucky with the remaining 5%. And remember the day Eric went into heat here? Danny came down to ask if you could help him out with some condoms. You gave them to him and we still did it too, without protection. Looks like one time really is enough."

We both fall back down into the bedsheets and I purr when you start leaving kisses all over my body until you've reached my stomach.

"I can't believe it. I thought we'd never be having kids. And then you... Rin, I'm happy. So happy."

"Even though we haven't been planning to be parents yet?", I ask quietly. "Even though you wanted to wait a while longer? I don't want to force this child onto you, you know. If you really... really don't want to be a Dad yet, you can... I mean, I won't force you to stay with me, I don't want-"

"Stop."

You glower up at me and I flinch slightly when I see that your pupils are slitted and your fangs bared.

"H-Haru?"

"I wanted you to swim with me. That's why I didn't want you to become pregnant now. But I'm happy, Rin. I want this baby. I want to be a Dad. With you. We can think of something together. How you can keep swimming and still have my baby."

I open my mouth to answer - when suddenly, there's a loud crash in the apartment above us and we both flinch. My hand grabs your shoulder.

"What..."

We listen, almost concerned. Then someone starts screaming.

"Stop it, stop it you idiot! Shut up already!"

I hate myself for it, but I'm scared. That's Danny's voice and he sounds so angry. I hate it when you Alphas get angry. It frightens me everytime. Instinctively, I wrap one arm around my middle to protect my baby and only then do I realize something.

"Eric!", I gasp in sheer panic. "Haru, Eric is still up there! What if Danny's hurting him? Please, please go upstairs and check on him! Please, Haru!"

You immediately bolt up and while I still struggle to get on a shirt and some pants you slip into your swimsuit like always and rush outside. I follow after you a little slower, one hand still placed on my stomach as I walk up the stairs that lead to Danny and Eric's flat. The front door is open, you're already inside and then I hear the laughter.

Eric is laughing so hysterically that it's almost ridiculous. I rush into the apartment, only to find my two best friends and you in the bedroom. Danny is curled up on his side of the bed, face buried in both hands and burning with shame while Eric lies half on the bed, half on the floor, laughing so hard that tears stream down his cheeks and he's barely getting enough air.

"What's going on here?", I demand impatiently.

You shrug and Danny looks up at me for a moment, then he goes back to hiding his face. Finally, Eric sits up a little and only now do I notice that they're both naked - only covered by the bedsheets. Have they... been at it before we've come upstairs?

"Sorry, sorry!", Eric gasps, still laughing. "Did we... did we worry you? Pfff, I just can't with that dumb fuck over there!"

He doubles over again, shaking with laughter and I flop down onto the bed with a grin.

"What? What happened? Hey Danny, talk to me of he doesn't!"

Danny squeaks in embarrassment.

"I just... ugh, Eric! Stop laughing!"

"He... he told me to just turn my head and... oh my fucking God, this is too perfect!"

You sigh and I know it's supposed to sound annoyed but Eric's laughter is just too contagious. Even you start to smile a little when he finally pulls himself together enough to coordinate speaking and breathing.

"Okay so... so I wake up and he rolls over to my side and purrs like he does when he's horny and I think _"Okay cool, sleepy morning sex"_ and we get at it and eventually we're doing it doggy style and I say... I say _"Hey, let me turn around, I wanna see your face"_ and he... he goes _"Just turn your head"_ and I just lost it, I just fucking lost it, Rin!"

Now I can't help it either because I remember watching _The Exorcist_ with Eric and Danny in middleschool and I know exactly what he's thinking.

"Sex tip number 666: go full exorcist on a bitch, nothing hotter than demonic possession!", I burst out laughing like a madman and me and Eric both collapse into the sheets once more.

"Shake things up in the bedroom by dislocating all your joints and crawling away onto the ceiling, your man will love it!"

Suddenly, your hand closes around my wrist and you drag me out of the bedroom.

"Enough already. We just wanted to check on you. Come on, Rin", you say with a hint of amusement in your voice and I follow you outside, only to burst into tears of laughter again when I hear Eric hoot like an owl behind me.

Yep, just a normal Wednesday morning.

\- - - - - -

Liv and Wendy sniff me out immediately. When we show up at their place, hand in hand and with wide smiles, they look at me from the couch across the room, just blankly _stare_ for a moment and then they start screaming.

"No! Shut up, not true! No!", Liv shrieks and throws herself at me so hard I almost stumble over and immediately, a warning growl breaks from your throat.

You've become insanely protective over the last month, eyeing everyone suspiciously who gets close to my personal space or even looks at me the wrong way.

"Yes true!", I argue back with a laugh and now Wendy tackles me too.

"Oh God, that's great, that's wonderful! Darling, sweetheart, I'm so happy for you!"

The two start fussing over me and while you watch with narrowed eyes, Sebastian rounds the corner with a plate of sandwiches and a bottle of soda in his hands.

"Hey girls, I got you your snacks. Oh, hey Rin, Haru. What's going on over there? Why do you three smell like you've had an endorphine overdose?", he asks with a soft chuckle and places everything down on the coffee table.

"Can't you tell?", Wendy mocks him. "Bad Alpha! But I won't say anything if Rin doesn't."

She looks over at me expectantly and I blush a little when Sebastian furrows his brows in confusion, trying to get what she's hinting at. Your hand gently nudges mine and I grasp it, just for the reassuring warmth that starts to seep into my body at your touch.

"We... we came here to ask for your advice", I start hesitantly. "We need a recommendation from you. For a doctor around here in Melbourne. One you trust."

My friend looks back at me, now looking even more puzzled.

"Uh... sure? If it's about what I promised you earlier, I'm still searching for a clinic who would take to your case, but-"

"Not that", I interrupt quickly and avert my gaze a little, but now a light smile plays at my lips. "Actually, that's not needed anymore."

And it finally seems to click for Sebastian. His jaw hits the floor and he stares at me as if I've announced that I'll be flying to the moon for good.

"No way!", he gasps. "But... but h-how? Literally, how? With a 5% chance of getting pregnant? And... and you didn't even _try_ for it?!"

I laugh awkwardly.

"Yeah, got lucky, I guess?"

"Since... since when?", Sebastian asks, grasping at his hair. "Shit Rin, we need to get you checked out as soon as possible. How far along are you?"

I feel your grip on my hand tightening a little and smile at you with a soft purr.

"Nine weeks. Starting the tenth tomorrow."

Sebastian's eyes widen a little.

"Nine... nine weeks? Rin, you're long since overdue for a checkup! We need to get you to a doctor, immediately! Come one, get in the car, I'm driving you to the hospital!"

He wants to reach out to grab my arm, but you bolt forward and growl at him, a deep, disturbing sound.

"Don't touch him."

My friend backs away in suprise, but then he exhales and smiles calmly.

"Sorry, Haru. I didn't want to invade. But we do need to get Rin to the hospital. It's almost December now and the first checkup should've been at the beginning of November - especially because it's such a high-risk pregnancy. We need to make sure that the baby is alright, that Rin is alright. Have you told anyone else yet?"

I shake my head and sigh.

"No, we haven't. Eric and Danny know, and now you do too, but nobody else. I don't want to tell everybody and... and then maybe... maybe..."

My voice breaks. I can't even say it. I'm so scared I could lose the child. They say that if you get through the first three months without complications, the chances for a miscarriage drop almost to zero, so I want to wait until then to tell Mom, Gou and the others. Only three more weeks, then my baby will be relatively safe. Still, Sebastian's sudden agitation makes me nervous.

"Then let's go right away", you suddenly say a little impatiently. "You're scaring him."

"H-Haru!", I squeak.

Of course you know my scent by heart and you can detect even the weakest emotions, but you don't have to say it like that! Sebastian grabs his jacket and keys, tells Wendy and Liv to take care and drags us downstairs to his car. The ride to the hospital isn't long, but he uses it for a cross-examination, asking question after question. I feel like a criminal for being pregnant and eventually just hide my face in your shirt, trembling, until you snarl at Sebastian and he finally shuts his mouth.

We've barely entered the hospital when Sebastian drags us past the front desk without a word, to the elevators and takes us up to the gynecology. He doesn't even stop there, just tells one of the nurses to call one of his colleagues - I can't even remember the name - for him while he opens a door and pushes me inside. It's an examination room and while he lathers his hands with disinfectant, puts on gloves and starts measuring my blood pressure and pulse, a tall woman joins us in the room.

You're completely on edge from the sudden stress and so am I. If I had known how much Sebastian was going to flip, I would've stayed home. So I missed my first checkup, what's wrong with that? Why is he acting so weird?

"Basti, I know this is urgent and all, but you can't barge into a hospital and claim a room for yourself to work in", the woman scolds before she turns to face me. "Oh heavens, poor guy. Hello. My name is Jenny, and you must be Rin, right? Basti's little problem child? And this is your Alpha? Haru, if I remember correctly. I'm sorry for the sudden fuss."

She smiles and I relax slightly. She's nice. I like her scent. It's so calm and reassuring. You notice it and immediately, your hostile stance drops. Instead, you just move closer to me, hands fisting the fabric of your jacket. Jenny shoves Sebastian to the side, takes the clipboard from him and looks at the numbers he's written down.

"Well, at the first glance, I'd say your blood pressure and pulse are normal for this situation right now, but I'd like to perform the routine checkup anyway. Do you suffer from any discomfort or pain?", she asks softly while Sebastian crosses both arms in front of his chest and watches her with a pout.

"N-No... not really", I respond cautiously. "I just get nauseous in the evening and I'm horribly tired in the morning, but that's normal, right?"

Eric has laughed at me when I've told him how often I throw up after dinner and now he calls it my evening sickness and teases me everytime they come down to watch TV or do their homework at our place, but I know that he means well.

"So you have reversed morning sickness", Jenny states with a soft chuckle. "That's nothing to worry about. Maybe have a few snacks throughout the afternoon instead of a full meal at dinnertime, that might help settle your stomach. Could I maybe touch you for a moment, if your Alpha is okay with it?"

She looks over at you and you stare at her suspiciously, but then you nod. I'm actually surprised that she's even asked. It's sweet of her. I really like it. She pushes up my shirt a little and places two fingers on my abdomen. I've lost a bit of muscles there, I know that since you've pointed it out after stroking my stomach like you do so often lately.

"Looks good. The womb is growing fast enough to accomodate the child. Have you two been trying for a baby?", Jenny asks happily while she switches on the ultrasound unit.

I look up at you and strangely enough, you're even smiling.

"No, we didn't", you say quietly. "But I'm happy he's pregnant."

"That's great!", Jenny responds with a wide grin. "Sometimes, Alphas are so negative towards their unborn children that the Omegas aren't able to develop enough space for the babies. Their wombs don't expand from all the stress and negative hormones and the risk for a miscarriage heightens, but if you're excited for the baby, then that's good. I'd like to take an ultrasound now, just to see how big the baby already is and if it's been developing alright."

\- - - - - -

I'm curled up on the couch next to you, still grasping the black and white picture in my hand. Your arm is wrapped tightly around my middle as you stroke my thigh and keep leaving gentle kisses on my cheek.

"He's gorgeous, isn't he?", I ask quietly.

"Mhm", you agree and lean over my shoulder. "Just like you."

I laugh at the compliment and knock my head back against your chest for a deep kiss. I'm alright, my baby is alright and life is great. Jenny says that I'll enter the second trimester soon and that my nausea will get better around the twelfth week or so.

"Shut it. I know you just say that to get in my pants."

"Is it working?", you shoot back and I can't help but to chuckle at that.

Damn, when have you gotten so smooth? You've become a bigger flirt than Sosuke!

"No. Today not. I don't really feel like it."

You sigh, but your hand finally retreats from my thigh and I lean against you contently. I trust you to know how far you can push it and until now, you've never disappointed me even once. I know you must be frustrated. We haven't done it all week and if we continue like that, you might go into rut soon, but I'm honestly not in the mood today. I'm tired and my stomach is always kind of upset as it is, training exhausts me even more lately and I don't feel like forcing myself to pleasure you. But before you can complain about it, my phone suddenly rings and I dig it out of my pocket to accept the call.

"Yeah?"

"Rin, where are you?", a now familiar voice asks hectically. "Haven't you gotten my E-Mail? You should've been here ten minutes ago!"

Shit! I jump to my feet and you watch me with narrowed eyes as I quickly slip on my sneakers and grab my jacket. I've completely forgotten about Toby! He must've sent the E-Mail this morning when we've been at the hospital!

"Oh fuck, I'm so sorry!", I gasp. "I was... I was busy all day! I'll be there in a few minutes, just tell me what to bring! Do I need something special?"

"Maybe your usual swimsuit and, I don't know, the cool glasses you guys always wear", he responds, now a little calmer. "Just some swim gear. Something that defines your career. Alright, the adress is in the E-Mail. Just come by as soon as possible, we're waiting."

I quickly end the call and open my mailbox. Yeah, I haven't even noticed the notification. It's an E-Mail from Toby, complete with adress, time and date. Shit, the shooting should've started fifteen minutes ago.

"Rin, what's going on?", your voice suddenly asks and I jump, then I rush past you, into the bedroom, grab my swimsuit and my goggles and stuff them into my bag.

"Photoshooting. I completely forgot about it. Toby said he would tell me where and when to be, and I didn't see the Mail in time. I need to get going now. You coming?", I ask hectically. 

You stare at me for a moment, then you nod.

"Okay, I'll drive you."

Right, I haven't thought about that. Of course you'd need to accompany me, I'm not even allowed to drive yet. But then, the memories of my last meeting with Toby surface again and I remember the stupid kiss in front of the car, how he's said that he'd be the much better choice for me and suddenly, I feel nauseous again.

"Rin? Hey, Rin-"

I bolt into the bathroom and even though I haven't eaten much for lunch, it feels like my guts are turning inside out as I throw up everything left in my stomach. We've kind of gotten used to this routine of you comfortingly holding my hair back and stroking my shoulders until I've calmed down enough to get back up, wash my mouth and brush my teeth, but today, I feel like I can't even move anymore. My whole body is trembling. Oh God, I've been pregnant back then. I've kissed another man while being pregnant with your child. Oh shit, fuck, oh fucking hell...

"Shhh, calm down. It's fine, it's alright. Feeling better?", you ask softly and wipe my face with a wet towel.

I claw your shirt and bury my face against your shoulder, sobbing quietly. You'd hate me if I told you. You would leave me and the baby, I would be alone if you found out. You can't _ever_ find out!

"Rin, is something wrong? Do you need anything? Do you feel alright?"

My scent must be breaking all distress-records right now. I'm so scared and frustrated and I hate myself for what has happened. I can't tell you, I can't! I can't lose you now, not when I'll be having a baby!

"No, no, I'm fine", I sniff and wipe my eyes. "It's fine. I just... I don't know what happened. I'm okay. Let me just brush my teeth, then we have to go. We're already late."

Seeing Toby again will be pure hell, but I _need_ this sponsoring. We need it. Especially now. My hand clutches my stomach. You're still a little suspicious, I notice, but you don't say anything. You just watch until I'm done cleaning up a little, then you drive me over to the photographer. When we enter, Toby and a woman are already waiting for us. They beam at me and even though I feel the sickness rising again in my stomach when I see Toby, I try to fight it down.

"Great, there he is! Wow, you really weren't lying", the elderly woman giggles. "What a beauty! Hello, Rin, I'm Nadia. I'll be taking the pictures today."

She reaches out her hand for me to shake and Toby does the same, with the small difference that he pulls me closer for a moment to kiss me on both cheeks. I have to suppress the urge to shove him away while he just smiles coldly and glares daggers at you.

"I see you brought Haru as well", Toby says in such a nonchalant tone that nobody would suspect anything, but I hear the sharpness anyway. "How nice for him to accompany you."

"True, true", the photographer muses while pushing me towards a small corridor. "But we really have to get started now! Here's the changing room, just hurry up and join us back in the main hall."

I nod, almost deliriously and change into my swimsuit with mechanical movements. I feel completely out of it. This is not me. I don't want to be around Toby, I don't want him to be here, but if I tell you that, you'll get suspicious and I'd have to admit that he's kissed me that night we've gone out for dinner together.

I can't do that.

Returning to the photographer, nodding at everything she says, obeying her demands as he directs me into the position she wants me in all happens automatically. I'm not doing anything. It's as if I'm watching myself from afar. Toby and you stand by the side and observe the photoshooting, I see you exchanging cold glances from time to time.

"Alright, that would be it", the photographer announces happily. "You can go change again. Good pictures, you're a natural! If I could just ask your Alpha over for a moment to verify that I've deleted the pictures from my camera after sending them to the customer..."

I nod without realizing it and step away from the greenscreen behind me. You follow her over to a computer in the background and I walk down the small corridor again. But before I can close the door behind me, someone slips into the room with me and I'm pushed up against the wall within seconds.

"Oh shit, Rin, you're so hot", a deep voice groans into my ear and I freeze in shock. "You should see yourself, you're so pretty, I can't hold back any longer..."

Heavy breathing echoes a million times from the walls of the tiny room and I hear the sound of a belt being unbuckled. Finally, my brain jumpstarts again and I try to shove Toby back.

"Get away from me!", I growl darkly. "Leave me alone you disgusting bastard! I belong to Haru, I'm his boyfriend! Don't touch me, get the hell away from me!"

But the harder I struggle, the harder he grips my arms and his lips push against mine. I turn my head, try to free myself from his much larger body, but I can get away. He towers over me and grabs my wrists, slams them against the wall and bites my lips hard enough to draw blood.

"Cute, you're so cute! You're driving me crazy, Rin, I can't stand this anymore."

I kick him in the guts and sink my teeth into his palm when he presses it against my mouth to keep me from screaming, but Toby just laughs.

"You better stop fighting now, darling, or I'll have to hurt you."

And suddenly, his hand rests on my stomach. My eyes widen, a shocked tremor runs down my spine. He can't know. How could he possibly know? I haven't told him and I haven't even started showing yet - maybe a tiny bit, but not nearly enough for anyone to notice who doesn't know me inside out.

"Do you think I didn't see how you clutch your stomach from time to time? How your Alpha, that stupid little brat outside, stares at your middle whenever you move? Do you think that's not obvious? I know that you're pregnant. I know and if you don't stop struggling this instant, then I'll have to hurt you. And I really don't want that."

I'm trembling, tears stream down my face. There's only a single thought going through my head in a constant loop of terror.

_My baby, he's going to hurt my baby, my baby..._

"That's it, keep still like that", Toby pants between two breathless laughs. "God, you're sexy, you're so goddamn sexy, it should be illegal."

He pushes my swimsuit down and I feel his fingers between my legs, his tongue on my neck, his disgustingly hot breath on my skin.

"Come on, I bet you're dripping wet for that brat outside every evening. I bet you wait on the bed with spread legs for him everyday he comes home from school. Come on, baby, give me a taste of that too."

It hurts so much when he shoves two fingers into me. There's no impatience, no thrilling excitement like when you do this to me, no pleasure, just excruciating pain. I wish I could scream for you, I wish you would just come and make it all end, drag him off of me and take me into your arms, but I'm scared he'll hurt me, scared that he'll hurt the baby if I do that.

"Haru!", I sob weakly while still trying to shove Toby back. "Haru, please, please..."

I want to curl up somewhere until you come to get me, I have to protect my baby, I need to get away from this man.

"The brat is not going to help you", Toby laughs hoarsely. "Yeah, that's it, baby. Brain out, Omega mode on. That's how I like it."

He tries to kiss me, but I avoid his lips and close my eyes. And then, his hands disappear from my body, his weight is lifted off of me, I slump down against the wall and through the fog of tears and fear, I see a figure moving with the calm firmness of a predator. A choked scream, a dull noise, then someone falls to the ground and warm arms encircle me. Your scent fills me with so much love and relief that I can't do anything but silently cling to you.

"I'm here, Rin. He can't hurt you anymore, I'm here."

You readjust my swimsuit, take off your jacket and wrap it around my shoulders to cover me up.

"He wanted to hurt the baby, Haru", I sob desperately. "He said he's going to hurt the baby, I couldn't-"

"It's fine", you interrupt me and help me to get up. "Let's get out of here and home."

I nod and let myself be lifted up by you. I don't care if Toby is hurt or dead. He's threatened to hurt my baby. He deserves whatever you've done to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter by me, so thank y'all for reading! :) Maybe sav will continue, I'm not sure yet~


End file.
